googly389
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Hi everyone. I'm so glad I found a place where maybe someone can understand me. I would like to share my story and maybe get some advice. Here goes:
It all began when I was 10. I remember waking up one day for school and feeling "odd", ya know kind of like I couldn't keep my thoughts in one place and I had a fleeting rush of memories and feelings of detachment. Then, out of the blue, I became disorientated; kind of like an intense deja vu but opposite at the same time! I remember asking someone where I was and who they were. This lasted for a few seconds and then I felt completely fine like nothing happened. The rest of the day I felt normal and never mentioned this to my parents. This trend continued here and there through the years, mostly brought on by a bad night of sleep. Then in march of 2005, at the age of 16 I remember slipping into one of these episodes but blacking out. My father found me rigid on the kitchen floor. I was taken to the hospital and had a ct scan with nothing out of the ordinary. Then I was referred to a neurologist who put me on 1000 mg of Depakote ER at bedtime (which I still take). It has worked to say the least. I don't have the complex partials anymore but lately I have been feeling spacey with minor deja vu's again, but with no progression. It makes no sense, I was doing so well for 3 years! I was never diagnosed with epilepsy since my three EEG's were all normal (one last month) and I get the feeling they think it was just a fluke but I know I have something. I have eliminated caffeinated beverages, MSG, Aspartame, and recently adopted a gluten free diet (my mother says it runs in the family and had me on the diet until I was 9) but am only seeing small results. I'm really depressed and let down about this. I mean, I drive and work very early in the mornings for( certain company) but my social life is suffering because I'm so afraid and feel so awful on the weekends. I live at home still and my girlfriend of almost 3 years recently decided we should see other people so I'm feeling so alone and vulnerable. I mean, who would want to date a guy like me who doesn't feel like doing anything on the weekends but lying around! This is so unlike me, I use to get out and go. Someone reassure me, please!
It all began when I was 10. I remember waking up one day for school and feeling "odd", ya know kind of like I couldn't keep my thoughts in one place and I had a fleeting rush of memories and feelings of detachment. Then, out of the blue, I became disorientated; kind of like an intense deja vu but opposite at the same time! I remember asking someone where I was and who they were. This lasted for a few seconds and then I felt completely fine like nothing happened. The rest of the day I felt normal and never mentioned this to my parents. This trend continued here and there through the years, mostly brought on by a bad night of sleep. Then in march of 2005, at the age of 16 I remember slipping into one of these episodes but blacking out. My father found me rigid on the kitchen floor. I was taken to the hospital and had a ct scan with nothing out of the ordinary. Then I was referred to a neurologist who put me on 1000 mg of Depakote ER at bedtime (which I still take). It has worked to say the least. I don't have the complex partials anymore but lately I have been feeling spacey with minor deja vu's again, but with no progression. It makes no sense, I was doing so well for 3 years! I was never diagnosed with epilepsy since my three EEG's were all normal (one last month) and I get the feeling they think it was just a fluke but I know I have something. I have eliminated caffeinated beverages, MSG, Aspartame, and recently adopted a gluten free diet (my mother says it runs in the family and had me on the diet until I was 9) but am only seeing small results. I'm really depressed and let down about this. I mean, I drive and work very early in the mornings for( certain company) but my social life is suffering because I'm so afraid and feel so awful on the weekends. I live at home still and my girlfriend of almost 3 years recently decided we should see other people so I'm feeling so alone and vulnerable. I mean, who would want to date a guy like me who doesn't feel like doing anything on the weekends but lying around! This is so unlike me, I use to get out and go. Someone reassure me, please!
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