Am I just crazy?!

[Katiered]

Hey all, I need your help please!

I stopped Topamax three weeks ago, and have been increasing Lamotrigine. I had been on it for several years before I realized I was having seizures. At that time I was having them often (just didn't know that's what was going on), but they were always simple partials. Very experience based, never physical (other than the fun of silly walking or movements because of the horrible dizzy/sinking feeling), until now.

I had this happen just a little the first time, and I thought it was because I was trying to keep up a conversation and look at someone while having a seizure.. My eyes started rolling back. It didn't last long so I wrote it off as tired and overly emotional (there because a family member was passing away).

However two weeks ago I was out with my boyfriend at a restaurant and had this happen again. I remember nearly everything clearly however wasn't really able to respond i think because I felt so ill. My eyes wouldn't focus and were rolling around, my body felt incredibly weak and I had a hard time keeping my head up. We went for air and I felt a bit better, but didn't fully recover. This happened a couple more times (another in the restaurant, andon our walk home).

How is it possible that I'm experiencing this now, but never before (on or off of the lamotrigine)? Am I just nuts? I don't know if I should mention it to my doctor, or if I'll just seem like a pain/whiner. Is it possible that they can get worse for no reason? I noticed today I'm on apo-lamotrigine, and was always on Mylan-lamotrigine. I assume that wouldn't make that big of a difference since they're both generics but I'm no pro!

Just to make this harder, I just got my licence back yesterday and I'm afraid they'll take it away again if I tell my neurologist. I know that's dumb and irresponsible maybe, but I would never drive when I don't feel good, and I always get plenty of warning. I also feel that I have never lost the ability to do what I have to do (walk, sit, whatever). That considered it can't be complex partials right?

 

[Mellismom]

I get that same feeling of being weak, can't respond, eyes rolling. I usually call it my eyes dancing and a cloud in my brain that just has to go away. But I am very new to this and not diagnosed yet so I hope someone else can answer your question. I am not sure mine is qualified. As far as I have understood from my (maybe not so good?) neurologist my other seizures are complex partial if they ARE epilepsy. No idea if there's a connection between these.

 

[Cint]

I stopped Topamax three weeks ago, and have been increasing Lamotrigine. I had been on it for several years before I realized I was having seizures. At that time I was having them often (just didn't know that's what was going on), but they were always simple partials. Very experience based, never physical (other than the fun of silly walking or movements because of the horrible dizzy/sinking feeling), until now.

How is it possible that I'm experiencing this now, but never before (on or off of the lamotrigine)? Am I just nuts? I don't know if I should mention it to my doctor, or if I'll just seem like a pain/whiner. Is it possible that they can get worse for no reason? I noticed today I'm on apo-lamotrigine, and was always on Mylan-lamotrigine. I assume that wouldn't make that big of a difference since they're both generics but I'm no pro!

Just to make this harder, I just got my licence back yesterday and I'm afraid they'll take it away again if I tell my neurologist. I know that's dumb and irresponsible maybe, but I would never drive when I don't feel good, and I always get plenty of warning. I also feel that I have never lost the ability to do what I have to do (walk, sit, whatever). That considered it can't be complex partials right?

It is possible that seizures can change over time, so YES, you do need to mention it to your dr. And yes, they could be CP's. It could also be the change in your medication that is causing the change in your seizure(s). Or it could be that the generic brand is making them more intense, as they do for some. But No, you are not crazy. Call your neuro.

 

[Nakamova]

:agree:
Don't ever feel shy about telling your doctor about anything that feels "off". I hope there's a quick fix that will make these new symptoms go away. If you are truly fully in control during your symptoms, the neurologist will take this into account. More importantly, don't let your fear of losing your license short-change your long-term health and safety. If your eyes are unexpectedly rolling up in your head, you're having a hard time keeping your head up, and you remember "nearly" everything -- you may not as safe behind the wheel as you'd like to be.

 

[Wobblez]

Hey Katie,

You're not crazy my friend, but i know how hard it is not to second guess yourself. These sound like seizures to me. I too have just got my license back and i'm currently laying in a hospital bed having an EEG because my auras and partials have returned. I've just bought a car so I know how frustrating it can be. But as Nakamova said, you can't risk your safety, or that of other people. I would speak to your neuro. You were obviously well controlled before things were changed so I think they take that into account and give you back your license once you've settled again. There's no point having a license if you're too scared to use it. =( Keep us posted.

 

[MuayThaiFighter]

Your not crazy. I've kept track of my seizure diary and whenever I take a med that didn't agree with me very well I would write, "pretty sure i'm going crazy" It was always based around the lack of good seizure control for me.

Seizures can change, but I don't know much about this subject. I know that a certain med can work well for you and then not take. These drugs are weird, and the brain is so complex. Just makes anyone question their sanity I think, and really tests everyone's patience. We just need a cure!

Hope you start feeling better.

 

[Mellismom]

As long as you don't give in to thinking you're crazy, I've felt the consequences of that.

 

[Wobblez]

Yeah don't do that. If in doubt, it never hurts to talk it through with someone but don't second guess yourself, THAT will drive you crazy!

 

[Katiered]

Thanks everyone! I guess I'll have to call today. Put it off yesterday, but I need to act like a mature, responsible adult. (Lol)

I think one of my biggest concerns is that they're not going to take me seriously, or think I'm nuts considering how weird this seems to me. Your replies have made me feel much more 'normal', so thank you all so much.

Time to bite the bullet...

 

[Wobblez]

Katiered,

Just remember if we have neurological conditions, unusual and weird actually makes more sense than normal doesn't it! lol

Keep us posted x

 

[Katiered]

I was honest and it bit me like I thought it would. He's suggested I shouldn't drive and is talking to the ministry so I won't be able to drive again for a long time

But sadly I realized that there's much worse out there than this. Just found out a friend died suddenly, and my response was to cry until I had a seizure. Now I'm back and still having to deal with t he reality of life.