petero
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I posted this on yahoo answers so the context of the question is a little off, but I wonder if any of this sounds like a relatable experience (except about Adriana, which is probably very relatable)
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I have epilepsy and maybe some mild ADD
one trigger I seem to have, or at least a panic issue, and panic can trigger seizures, is groups of people
I'm quite introverted, I like being around intimate groups.. large groups like dance clubs or something are not so bad, because there is loud music
but when I'll be in restaurants, or places where there might be many people talking, it seems at times I will overhear bits of conversations from all around the room and try to make sentences, to make sense of clumps of words that in are from different conversations
I've maybe done this my whole life- and I think it's one reason I've become so introverted. A dissociation thing. if I'm having a conversation, sometimes it might seem I'm not paying attention, doing things with my hands or something, and it might seem rude to some people who don't think on layers like I do.
and a lot of the time I'll sit and tap out rhythms with my hands, or make word associations with things people I'm conversing with say
my attention in these larger groups seems to be sortof like a spatial thing- maybe akin to how blind people can figure out what the room they're in is like
I'm a guitarist, and a lot of the time it's easier for me to play scales and triads and things with my eyes closed.
and as an artist I also like the spatial and visual aspect of my non-visual, non-ocular, "vision"
but in groups and things- especially in loud places, well really louder places aren't that bad, because it's harder to differentiate between people's voices
I need to sleep with a fan on, or static noise radio, or droning
in retrospect, sober 8 years, I'm wondering if the alcohol "blur" is one of the reasons I needed to drink, and the panic issues associated with being among groups like I described, to just blur, or shut off - tune out, drone out
I think my brain works much much faster, processing different types of data - but sitting and having a conversation one on one, often I'm just lost
I've worked with sampling music before, and I'll relate this phenomenon to samples used in music. Different bits from different songs to make an entirely different phrase.
and in that regard, I really love my abilities
but I have a hard time coping when there are groups, maybe 10-15 people in an area..
so my question is - do you think I'll be able to get a date with Adriana? she works in the office next to me. she's pretty durn cute.
wait where was I
I guess I don't care - I need to avoid those types of situations
f--- it
as I have been typing this even, the room I'm in has filled quite a bit, in a cafe, and initially I was experiencing what I was talking about - hence the question - and now I feel much more comfortable
the room before sounded like "...logging... plate... peppermint.. appropriate.. wave... Starbucks" type of things - maybe my mind just gets into a frenzy trying to make sense of these random things...
now the room sounds like "ba..rg..sh. ac..z..jk..." you get the idea
so what do you think?
and Adriana?
lol<<<
>>>
...
I have epilepsy and maybe some mild ADD
one trigger I seem to have, or at least a panic issue, and panic can trigger seizures, is groups of people
I'm quite introverted, I like being around intimate groups.. large groups like dance clubs or something are not so bad, because there is loud music
but when I'll be in restaurants, or places where there might be many people talking, it seems at times I will overhear bits of conversations from all around the room and try to make sentences, to make sense of clumps of words that in are from different conversations
I've maybe done this my whole life- and I think it's one reason I've become so introverted. A dissociation thing. if I'm having a conversation, sometimes it might seem I'm not paying attention, doing things with my hands or something, and it might seem rude to some people who don't think on layers like I do.
and a lot of the time I'll sit and tap out rhythms with my hands, or make word associations with things people I'm conversing with say
my attention in these larger groups seems to be sortof like a spatial thing- maybe akin to how blind people can figure out what the room they're in is like
I'm a guitarist, and a lot of the time it's easier for me to play scales and triads and things with my eyes closed.
and as an artist I also like the spatial and visual aspect of my non-visual, non-ocular, "vision"
but in groups and things- especially in loud places, well really louder places aren't that bad, because it's harder to differentiate between people's voices
I need to sleep with a fan on, or static noise radio, or droning
in retrospect, sober 8 years, I'm wondering if the alcohol "blur" is one of the reasons I needed to drink, and the panic issues associated with being among groups like I described, to just blur, or shut off - tune out, drone out
I think my brain works much much faster, processing different types of data - but sitting and having a conversation one on one, often I'm just lost
I've worked with sampling music before, and I'll relate this phenomenon to samples used in music. Different bits from different songs to make an entirely different phrase.
and in that regard, I really love my abilities
but I have a hard time coping when there are groups, maybe 10-15 people in an area..
so my question is - do you think I'll be able to get a date with Adriana? she works in the office next to me. she's pretty durn cute.
wait where was I
I guess I don't care - I need to avoid those types of situations
f--- it
as I have been typing this even, the room I'm in has filled quite a bit, in a cafe, and initially I was experiencing what I was talking about - hence the question - and now I feel much more comfortable
the room before sounded like "...logging... plate... peppermint.. appropriate.. wave... Starbucks" type of things - maybe my mind just gets into a frenzy trying to make sense of these random things...
now the room sounds like "ba..rg..sh. ac..z..jk..." you get the idea
so what do you think?
and Adriana?
lol<<<