Back to work for the first time since March!

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RunningGirl85

RunningGirl85

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Some of you have been following my posts and know that since I had my second seizure while I was deployed and got my epilepsy diagnosis, I've been in a "transition" sort of unit (you either have to get out of the military, or they give you time to stabilize your condition if it's an illness). Well, today is my first day back to a normal job. :woot: I'm actually really excited to begin getting back on with my life. The whole no-transportation thing is still stressing me out, but I did get an offer for my first ride today at least. I"m going to ask her if this can be a regular thing until I get a car. Plus, I offered her to use my extra shower after our Physical Training (PT), so she does't have to go off post and get back on post with the bad weather, or shower at the gym where there is usually a wait. I live a half a mile from the gym, and quite close to work if it wasn't -10 degrees Fahrenheit with a windchill of -24 - yep, that's this morning. Something tells me we won't be outside running today... hahaha. Either way it was SUCH a relief because I was freaking out about it. Catastrophising is the term for it in the cognitive-behavioral world. Freaking out about future events and what will happen later on down the line without even having experienced anything yet... Sounds like me.

ANYWAY, in some ways, I'm kinda thinking maybe my neurologist was right that some of my "seizure activity" is actually anxiety related. Though I can't be sure. This morning I woke up excited and nervous. About fifteen minutes after waking up, I got my "fuzzy head" feeling that I had before my last two T/C seizures. Of course, it's possible that all this excitement could be causing activity. I have no idea. But I do know I'm nervous and sorta wound up right now, and the excitement could be too much for me right now. Hahahaha, all the excitement to be returning to work. How crazy is that? :) I think only people who have dealt with situations that keep them from working can understand where I'm coming from (a lot of you, I know). Anywho, just felt the urge to share that :) The CWE family is awesome.
 
Good luck with your first day back at work! It will be a great distraction for you! I have been working the whole time though as I could get the bus to work and back. I couldn't do the normal 'mummy' things with my kids, just had to leave the running them around to other people. My 8 year old daughter has really struggled with this.

Really interested in your thoughts on anxiety related symptoms. I have started CBT now and its amazing how thoughts can turn into actual physical symptoms.

My story is similar to yours in the fact that I had my 2nd possible seizure years after the first. I think that is what is so scary and confusing. You put that whole scary experience behind you and then 'BAM' it happens again. I had a clear MRI and EEG and no diagnosis. I am taking Lamotrigine which was my choice as I'm terrified of it happening again. I still haven't gotten over the shock over 6 months later!

I have just started driving again and was very brave yesterday and picked my son up from kindergarten although it had been snowing here. (not as cold as you have it!!) When I got home, I cried as I felt 'normal' again and felt so happy being independant. I then picked my other two up from school but did feel kind of ignored by the other mums at the school gate. Not sure how to handle this but TRYING not to stress and worry!!!
 
Well started the day with running in -10 degrees! (Didn't expect to be running!) But I got to know a few of the people, so that was cool. UNFORTUNATELY, I may not be staying with these people since I cannot deploy :( My new commander said she thinks I probably shouldn't stay in the military just for my own health. Yeahhh... sadly, I kinda got pushed back into the unit before I could make that choice.

Claire, I'm so happy for you!!! When was the last time you had driven? And you're right, your case is VERY similar to mine
 
I last drove on 10th July when I went for my first evening at a new job. The seizure happened that night about an hour and a half after I went to sleep.

I WAS feeling really positive when I just went to pick my son up from kindergarten today until a mum who does have epilepsy saw that I was driving again and told me to be careful as I am now at much greater risk of having another seizure.

Now I am feeling really depressed again. :(

Glad you got to meet some new people. I bet it took your mind off things so you felt a bit more like 'you' again. It would be such a shame if you can't continue doing something that you love.
 
Claire7 said:
I WAS feeling really positive when I just went to pick my son up from kindergarten today until a mum who does have epilepsy saw that I was driving again and told me to be careful as I am now at much greater risk of having another seizure.

Now I am feeling really depressed again. :(

Glad you got to meet some new people. I bet it took your mind off things so you felt a bit more like 'you' again. It would be such a shame if you can't continue doing something that you love.
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Well, this mum with E whom you met is right. You're at greater risk of having another seizure now, but who knows. It's great that some of you DO get to continue your life careers and continue driving. I was able to drive for a few years and then back in December, I had a break-thru seizure and totaled my car. I had a head-on collision with a light pole. Thank god, no one was injured or killed! Now I'm feeling really depressed again, too!!!!! So my life is on hold, AGAIN.
 
Cint - I'm so sorry you are feeling down. It is a shock when life turns upside down again. I understand that I am more at risk of the average person of having another one. It was just the way that mum said it to me. I was so happy to be driving again and I just don't deal very well with negativity!

I was told that after about 2-3 years of having a first seizure your vulnerability to having a second one is as much as anybody else. I made it to just under 4 years with no meds so constantly wondering and worrying where that leaves me!!!!
 
Yeah R.G. I’m really happy to hear you’re back at work! I hope things work out for the best. Best wishes!!
 
Good news, Running Girl!! I know you were going nuts hanging around with nothing to do (weren't you the one sweeping the floor several times a day? I was just thinking about that when I was sweeping yesterday).

It feels good to sorta get back to normal. Now that Jon's seizures have significantly decreased, I've been able to get back into a more normal routine, which feels really good!
 
for today - we have.

great news runninggirl! hope your 1st day went well...
 
Running in -10 degree weather? You are one tough chick.

Glad to hear about your day girl! :)
 
RunningGirl85 said:
Either way it was SUCH a relief because I was freaking out about it. Catastrophising is the term for it in the cognitive-behavioral world. Freaking out about future events and what will happen later on down the line without even having experienced anything yet... Sounds like me.
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That sounds just like me. I tend to over analyse things or worry about things that may or may not happen :paperbag:.
My Neuropsych is always telling me I shouldn't over analyse things or look into things too much.
 
Good to hear the work situation has started well, hope it gets even better!
 
Update: I don't know what I Was so worried about - there have been like four or five people who have offered to give me rides. I guess it helps that I only live a mile and a half away :) And more good news is having back some of my old friends. My unit came back to work from their post-deployment leave the same day I came into work, so I got to see everyone again. It was like I never left, lol. Plus I still have my friends from the unit I was just in that I have been spending time with. I am so glad that my worries seem to have been unfounded. NOW, if I have to move to another unit where I won't know anyone (I know everyone now), it may be a bit more difficult. And from what I know, I will most likely be moving - soo... we'll see what happens with that. :/
 
Hooray that you have landed in a good spot! Praying that you don't have to move to another unit...
 
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