Bully strikes again
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alivenwell
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That's true. It might be wise to read up on some advocacy laws.
Try
http://www.wrightslaw.com/bks/feta2/feta2.htm
It looks like it covers a lot of pertinent material.
Try
http://www.wrightslaw.com/bks/feta2/feta2.htm
It looks like it covers a lot of pertinent material.
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Let me apologize
for my rants as of late. The bullying at work has picked up since Jett died. Yes, it is a group of people whom I have no other affiliation with. They think they are in the right, and it is like fingernails on a chalkboard.
I usually try to be patient with such rudeness on their part, but they were a bit more insensitive than usual.
I have tried to report them when I was physically attacked, but the ruling was in their favor, and I just found out in an official letter from work.
The union is not even supportive, because they dropped a couple of my grievances, and gave me the run around as to why.
I was one step beyond peeved.
Again, I apologize if I ruffled any feathers.
for my rants as of late. The bullying at work has picked up since Jett died. Yes, it is a group of people whom I have no other affiliation with. They think they are in the right, and it is like fingernails on a chalkboard.
I usually try to be patient with such rudeness on their part, but they were a bit more insensitive than usual.
I have tried to report them when I was physically attacked, but the ruling was in their favor, and I just found out in an official letter from work.
The union is not even supportive, because they dropped a couple of my grievances, and gave me the run around as to why.
I was one step beyond peeved.
Again, I apologize if I ruffled any feathers.
skillefer
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Totally understandable Shelley. Honestly, I don't know how I would handle it if I were in your shoes. I mean, a part of me wants to say that I would say, "Hmmm...I never considered myself possessed by demons." And walk away. But the other part of me says that saying something like that would just make the work environment more tense. There are just ignorant people the world over. And while we can educate some, there are others that will always refuse new information. So don't worry. 
BuckeyeFan
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Each situation is different, but this one with Laura's step-daughter is one that calls for a couple of major actions. First, other than expulsion, the school should be finished on deciding the punishment. This is now a criminal case and your step-daughter is a victim of a violent crime. The courts in most states have victim's rights organizations set-up that not only console the victim, but also help throughout the legal proceedings. They can also break that privacy crap the school is feeding you.
If I remember correctly, this criminal is old enough to be charged as an adult depending on the state. I do not give the PC name of 'bully' to a criminal. This is aggravated assault. It was premeditated. If she is already on probation, she should be spending time in detention/jail. Her accessories should also be charged. Even if the charges fail to hold up, they should be put through the process and maybe it will open their eyes.
The only legal issues beyond expulsion the school should worry about is defending themselves. The principal who has fought this all the way is criminally guilty of negligence. He is no different than a parent who leaves their child unattended. Sure, they didn't cause direct harm to the child, but they didn't protect the child when they knew there was a serious danger. This is where all of Laura's previous documentation comes in handy.
The school is liable in civil court. This situation was repeatedly presented to them at various levels and the school is responsible for the administration's actions. This one isn't even border line. The school was aware of a danger and did nothing to prevent it.
Go after them with both barrels Laura!
:clap:
If I remember correctly, this criminal is old enough to be charged as an adult depending on the state. I do not give the PC name of 'bully' to a criminal. This is aggravated assault. It was premeditated. If she is already on probation, she should be spending time in detention/jail. Her accessories should also be charged. Even if the charges fail to hold up, they should be put through the process and maybe it will open their eyes.
The only legal issues beyond expulsion the school should worry about is defending themselves. The principal who has fought this all the way is criminally guilty of negligence. He is no different than a parent who leaves their child unattended. Sure, they didn't cause direct harm to the child, but they didn't protect the child when they knew there was a serious danger. This is where all of Laura's previous documentation comes in handy.
The school is liable in civil court. This situation was repeatedly presented to them at various levels and the school is responsible for the administration's actions. This one isn't even border line. The school was aware of a danger and did nothing to prevent it.
Go after them with both barrels Laura!
:clap:
BuckeyeFan
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Flip side
As I said above, each situation is different. With Teresa's son, it sounds like the victim's are random and this is a direct result of health/development issues. Intervention is actively underway and this is not a premeditated, recurring act against the same child. It has also not been accompanied by taunting, stalking, written threats, or any other threatening action. It is a child who is striking out because his brain is not functioning the way it should. I believe he is also much younger.
My granddaughter has a mild form of autism. She gets better every year, but still has that occasional breakdown where she lashes out. She is as sweet as can be and has many friends at her school, but she had one day this year where they had to take her home because she had struck two other children and ran away from the teachers. Both her parents and the school are actively working to help her. Yet, they understand that if this activity does not cease, she will need to be pulled from regular school to protect the other children.
Like Teresa, I understand the frustration of trying to help a child with these issues. However to the child, the actions are no different than when she was 3-4 and would try to pound her head on the floor time after time. My granddaughter does very well scholastically, but is now just reaching the point where she can articulate and properly handle her emotions. This is a 1% of the time behavioral problem, not stalking, targeted, and premeditated.
As much as it hurts to see my little sweetheart be punished, I know it is what is right and it is helping her learn to adjust. We know it is working because we see constant improvements from a child who could not function at all 5 years ago to a cute 9 year old that is no different 99% of the time.
Prayers to all for these emotional battles we fight each day.
As I said above, each situation is different. With Teresa's son, it sounds like the victim's are random and this is a direct result of health/development issues. Intervention is actively underway and this is not a premeditated, recurring act against the same child. It has also not been accompanied by taunting, stalking, written threats, or any other threatening action. It is a child who is striking out because his brain is not functioning the way it should. I believe he is also much younger.
My granddaughter has a mild form of autism. She gets better every year, but still has that occasional breakdown where she lashes out. She is as sweet as can be and has many friends at her school, but she had one day this year where they had to take her home because she had struck two other children and ran away from the teachers. Both her parents and the school are actively working to help her. Yet, they understand that if this activity does not cease, she will need to be pulled from regular school to protect the other children.
Like Teresa, I understand the frustration of trying to help a child with these issues. However to the child, the actions are no different than when she was 3-4 and would try to pound her head on the floor time after time. My granddaughter does very well scholastically, but is now just reaching the point where she can articulate and properly handle her emotions. This is a 1% of the time behavioral problem, not stalking, targeted, and premeditated.
As much as it hurts to see my little sweetheart be punished, I know it is what is right and it is helping her learn to adjust. We know it is working because we see constant improvements from a child who could not function at all 5 years ago to a cute 9 year old that is no different 99% of the time.
Prayers to all for these emotional battles we fight each day.
BuckeyeFan
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My worst experience with a bully was a young junior high school teacher who would verbally target me each day so that the other kids would laugh at his "jokes". In today's world, I would own everything he had, but 30 years ago that was not the case. I just put up with it each day.
That is one man that to this day, I would like to have the chance to confront. He moved out of the area within a year or two of that, but at my last class reunion, I still heard a chant he made up about me. Some people never grow up.
Note - this was previous to my epilepsy.
That is one man that to this day, I would like to have the chance to confront. He moved out of the area within a year or two of that, but at my last class reunion, I still heard a chant he made up about me. Some people never grow up.
Note - this was previous to my epilepsy.
joan
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There is also a huge difference between someone plotting to hurt another, following thru with help, and someone who cant handle the situation or is over stimulated and acting out. But its also why its important we share, good and bad, as many times we can help each other. ANd its all about making this trip as pleasant as possible.
I tell my kids all the time. I may not like everything you say and do, but I love you unconditionally.
joan*
I tell my kids all the time. I may not like everything you say and do, but I love you unconditionally.
joan*
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tinasmom
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Thank you everyone for your links and suggestions. We have contacted an attorney and he was unable to take the case as he is from IL and not licensed in WI. He did give us some references in WI. We have a call in to one in another city here in WI.
I will be taking my tape recorder and this time I will not be so polite to ask that I record, I'm just going to set it down and turn it on. I don't think the principal will refuse to be taped with his boss sitting right there.
The girl that attacked my step-daughter is locked up in Juvenile Detention, as far as we know right now. I am going to make sure that everyone involved in this attack is given appropriate consequences.
Maybe the school district will decide to implement a bullying policy once we're finished with our lawsuit. Unfortunately, the state of WI does not have a mandatory bullying policy. The law was turned down last year and I have been in contact with my legislators regarding the importance of this issue.
Shelly - I am so sorry that you are going through your bully issue at work.
Teresa - I would not consider your son a bully as it seems he doesn't single out anyone. We have worked with the school regarding Nicole's outbursts with some behavior modification programs.
I will be taking my tape recorder and this time I will not be so polite to ask that I record, I'm just going to set it down and turn it on. I don't think the principal will refuse to be taped with his boss sitting right there.
The girl that attacked my step-daughter is locked up in Juvenile Detention, as far as we know right now. I am going to make sure that everyone involved in this attack is given appropriate consequences.
Maybe the school district will decide to implement a bullying policy once we're finished with our lawsuit. Unfortunately, the state of WI does not have a mandatory bullying policy. The law was turned down last year and I have been in contact with my legislators regarding the importance of this issue.
Shelly - I am so sorry that you are going through your bully issue at work.
Teresa - I would not consider your son a bully as it seems he doesn't single out anyone. We have worked with the school regarding Nicole's outbursts with some behavior modification programs.
stilldancing_98
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I am aloud to record things because of my memory. That means they record it to.Thank you for everybodys advise.I keep a very regulated routine hear at home. Change is very difficult for him. I had my Dr.s appointment with our epileptologist today and he thinks neuro feedback would be great for him.
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When all else fails, Hurry - Head to the Courts!
Laura:
There is another mode you can turn to that
will get them to manifest who the party is;
going to the State Attorney's Office, and
demand the name so you can file an injunction
in due process to the fact the party has a
historical record of being ...... having what
you already posted.
*grins*
That will hurt! This would mean that party
would not be able to attend to the School
and most likely the Judge will be in favor
to your side, because in due process, the
"bully" already has an outstanding history
(record); and because it is in court, the
name of the such said party will be known
and you will have the papers, and while
you and your family would be protected,
the address and information will remain
confidential - the State Attorney then also
can proceed forward into restitution for
the injuries she had sustained. just push
the State Attorney over the fence on this
one and if they refuse, YOU DO have the
right to speak before the Judge - but be
nice, but yet firm about this --> disclosing
even the fact that your step-daughter is
....... providing the Judge the medical info,
and requesting it to be held closed-case
in due process for the protection of your
step-daughter (this way it does not get
docketed in the Court). Your step-daughter
does not need to be present, for you can
elaborate to the Judge of her fearfulness
of having to "see" her again, or whatever
implies ...
You can go so far as to the lack of cooperation
from the School System in protecting your
step-daughter and that safety is FIRST,
and they lax in it; and you can go to describe
in details on that.
Being very specific, detailed, brief to the core
will help a lot, writing it down in an outline
manner; the Judge can docket that instead
of the medical records. The Judge can determine
a lot of things and could benefit much - he/she
may even go so far to inquire and ask questions
such as "Does she need any psychological
counseling because of this?" etc ...
He/she would want to hear it from you.
Hope this all helps ...
Laura:
There is another mode you can turn to that
will get them to manifest who the party is;
going to the State Attorney's Office, and
demand the name so you can file an injunction
in due process to the fact the party has a
historical record of being ...... having what
you already posted.
*grins*
That will hurt! This would mean that party
would not be able to attend to the School
and most likely the Judge will be in favor
to your side, because in due process, the
"bully" already has an outstanding history
(record); and because it is in court, the
name of the such said party will be known
and you will have the papers, and while
you and your family would be protected,
the address and information will remain
confidential - the State Attorney then also
can proceed forward into restitution for
the injuries she had sustained. just push
the State Attorney over the fence on this
one and if they refuse, YOU DO have the
right to speak before the Judge - but be
nice, but yet firm about this --> disclosing
even the fact that your step-daughter is
....... providing the Judge the medical info,
and requesting it to be held closed-case
in due process for the protection of your
step-daughter (this way it does not get
docketed in the Court). Your step-daughter
does not need to be present, for you can
elaborate to the Judge of her fearfulness
of having to "see" her again, or whatever
implies ...
You can go so far as to the lack of cooperation
from the School System in protecting your
step-daughter and that safety is FIRST,
and they lax in it; and you can go to describe
in details on that.
Being very specific, detailed, brief to the core
will help a lot, writing it down in an outline
manner; the Judge can docket that instead
of the medical records. The Judge can determine
a lot of things and could benefit much - he/she
may even go so far to inquire and ask questions
such as "Does she need any psychological
counseling because of this?" etc ...
He/she would want to hear it from you.
Hope this all helps ...
tinasmom
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Sharon
Thanks for the info. My husband knows the bully's family personally. He even changed this girl's diapers when she was a baby. We have the first name of one of the other girls that was involved. I will definetly talk with our attorney about the info you have given me. Hopefully the school district will finally realize that there is a problem with bullying and something needs to be done. When I was in school, if you got into trouble you went to the principals office and there were real consequences for your actions. Then you had to face your parents as well and the consequences at home. What has happened to our society over the years? There are parents that become violent with coaches and referees at school events. What does this teach our children? Our children watch and listen to everything we do and I feel it is important that we teach them how to handle problems without violence.
Thanks for the info. My husband knows the bully's family personally. He even changed this girl's diapers when she was a baby. We have the first name of one of the other girls that was involved. I will definetly talk with our attorney about the info you have given me. Hopefully the school district will finally realize that there is a problem with bullying and something needs to be done. When I was in school, if you got into trouble you went to the principals office and there were real consequences for your actions. Then you had to face your parents as well and the consequences at home. What has happened to our society over the years? There are parents that become violent with coaches and referees at school events. What does this teach our children? Our children watch and listen to everything we do and I feel it is important that we teach them how to handle problems without violence.
alivenwell
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Your husband is no longer a neutral mediator. There were other kids pulled into this situation. This is now completely out of hand when your kid can't go to school for fear of a harsh beating or severe verbal harassment. It's a group against one person.
Do we send kids like your daughter to school in protective gear used for football or boxing? Or, better yet, can she learn some martial arts? They promote self defense, build self confidence and tell kids not to start a fight, but also not to back down. It's expensive, but it may be a good time for her to feel the desire to build that need for defense.
Will the other 'assistants' act up next?!
Do we send kids like your daughter to school in protective gear used for football or boxing? Or, better yet, can she learn some martial arts? They promote self defense, build self confidence and tell kids not to start a fight, but also not to back down. It's expensive, but it may be a good time for her to feel the desire to build that need for defense.
Will the other 'assistants' act up next?!
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alivenwell
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Bullies at work
I would have expected more compassion from these brutes. Especially during a high profile death like Jett's. Physically attacked!? They are absolute NOT right. Can the ADA with its newer modifications assist you here? The Union sounds like they must be dealing with a few rebels and they're afraid of another incident. You could either go to work wearing halloween devil horns with a red outfit or simply let it go to a higher authority. I'd go for the higher authority.
Somebody needs to be put in their place (not a nice one, I'd say!).
Oh, and by the way, it's really not legal to do verbal harassment. But, you'd need a witness when it happens. Physical harassment is also not legal. That's why I would suggest a lawyer as well for this one. Something doesn't sound right.
I would have expected more compassion from these brutes. Especially during a high profile death like Jett's. Physically attacked!? They are absolute NOT right. Can the ADA with its newer modifications assist you here? The Union sounds like they must be dealing with a few rebels and they're afraid of another incident. You could either go to work wearing halloween devil horns with a red outfit or simply let it go to a higher authority. I'd go for the higher authority.
Somebody needs to be put in their place (not a nice one, I'd say!).
Oh, and by the way, it's really not legal to do verbal harassment. But, you'd need a witness when it happens. Physical harassment is also not legal. That's why I would suggest a lawyer as well for this one. Something doesn't sound right.
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True
I find it increasingly difficult to go to work each day. I have been getting sick from the abuse at work and the flashbacks of childhood.
I have been trying to apply for other jobs at work, but I am not sure if my boss is gonna let me go as she seems to be a part of it as well.
I think I will get in the unions face and demand that I be given due course.
I wish I knew who attacked me, because it was one shot done at my back while I was leaving the area for lunch.
Some days, all I want to do is scream.
I find it increasingly difficult to go to work each day. I have been getting sick from the abuse at work and the flashbacks of childhood.
I have been trying to apply for other jobs at work, but I am not sure if my boss is gonna let me go as she seems to be a part of it as well.
I think I will get in the unions face and demand that I be given due course.
I wish I knew who attacked me, because it was one shot done at my back while I was leaving the area for lunch.
Some days, all I want to do is scream.
tinasmom
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Shelly - It's too bad the person that said something didn't have the guts to say it to your face. This person apparently is a coward and thrives on hurting others with words. Maybe you need to talk with the Union and company to have a mandatory seizure training. Have you contacted the Union rep over your rep? You may want to do that and let him/her know what is going on and how your Union rep is not helping you.
We met with the school principal and school superintendent last night about this last attack on my step-daughter. The superintendent agreed to have the conversation taped and the principal didn't look very happy about this. We were asked to supply them with a copy of the tape and we agreed. Of course the principal couldn't answer our questions because he didn't know the details. He had from Thursday to yesterday to collect the information and failed to do so. He was unaware that there was more than one person involved in the attack also. The superintendent asked if we knew names of others involved and we told him the one other girl we knew for sure. We also agreed to work with the district to put a bully policy into effect. We actually walked out of this meeting with no further information than we started with. Still looking for an attorney to help us with this matter.
We met with the school principal and school superintendent last night about this last attack on my step-daughter. The superintendent agreed to have the conversation taped and the principal didn't look very happy about this. We were asked to supply them with a copy of the tape and we agreed. Of course the principal couldn't answer our questions because he didn't know the details. He had from Thursday to yesterday to collect the information and failed to do so. He was unaware that there was more than one person involved in the attack also. The superintendent asked if we knew names of others involved and we told him the one other girl we knew for sure. We also agreed to work with the district to put a bully policy into effect. We actually walked out of this meeting with no further information than we started with. Still looking for an attorney to help us with this matter.
joan
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Definitly find a lawyer.
C&P** Of course the principal couldn't answer our questions because he didn't know the details. He had from Thursday to yesterday to collect the information and failed to do so. He was unaware that there was more than one person involved in the attack also.
This part is totally unacceptable. He is honorbound to investigate. You are right they arent taking it sersiously. IF I had gotten to the Board, with that bs from the principal, here in NJ, heads would roll. Keep at it. You are so on track to change this.
If I was hit at work, and even if I didnt know who did it? Id file an assault complaint with the police. Maybe they can figure out who the coward is. Either way will put the "posse" on notice that you arent any ones punching bag. Maybe make them rethink themself.
Makes me NUTZ that folks cant simply be courteous. grrrrr
joan*
C&P** Of course the principal couldn't answer our questions because he didn't know the details. He had from Thursday to yesterday to collect the information and failed to do so. He was unaware that there was more than one person involved in the attack also.
This part is totally unacceptable. He is honorbound to investigate. You are right they arent taking it sersiously. IF I had gotten to the Board, with that bs from the principal, here in NJ, heads would roll. Keep at it. You are so on track to change this.
If I was hit at work, and even if I didnt know who did it? Id file an assault complaint with the police. Maybe they can figure out who the coward is. Either way will put the "posse" on notice that you arent any ones punching bag. Maybe make them rethink themself.
Makes me NUTZ that folks cant simply be courteous. grrrrr
joan*
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Ditto at what Joan says!
I am frankly disgusted at the
"Principal's attitude", for I find
it very difficult in believing all
of this ... for how is it that the
upper authority knows all of this
and the Principal does not? The
System does not work this way!
I am frankly disgusted at the
"Principal's attitude", for I find
it very difficult in believing all
of this ... for how is it that the
upper authority knows all of this
and the Principal does not? The
System does not work this way!
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sad update
They have admitted to pranking me. Pranking means that they think its funny taunting and harassing.
I still cannot get a job in another department. Education is not possible, because for all the effort I put into anything, I am harassed or retaliated against for some perceived wrong.
My union steward suggested that I try to lighten up and be friendly with these people. That has just so not worked, as the pranking now involves paperwork that I have done that they manage to deliberately mess up.
They have admitted to pranking me. Pranking means that they think its funny taunting and harassing.
I still cannot get a job in another department. Education is not possible, because for all the effort I put into anything, I am harassed or retaliated against for some perceived wrong.
My union steward suggested that I try to lighten up and be friendly with these people. That has just so not worked, as the pranking now involves paperwork that I have done that they manage to deliberately mess up.