Cheer Up

[CatAttack]

Hey - this is my second post, so if it's in the wrong place i'm sorry!!!

I've been struggling with epilepsy since i was 18 - now 21. I left uni because i felt like i couldn't handle it. I did some art courses and tried to work with my creative self - but i ended up finding it unchallenging and boring. At the start of this year, i convinced myself with a MASSIVE pep talk that i could do this and i can't not live my life because of epilepsy. I started uni again, doing distance as my parents and boyfriend worried about me travelling (so did i)... anyways - since the start of the year, i've had 4 seizures, especially around assignments. But i'm not even doing that well, just pass/credit worthy... the information doesn't always stick in my mind and i feel like i'm battling 10000x worse than if i didn't have epilepsy. I have exams in the next two weeks and i'm really frustrated and upset, and i doubt myself so much. I remember reciting essays off by heart, being able to write 8 pages in 40 minutes, coming first - having so much potential. And i feel like it's all just slipped away. It really scares and frustrates me and i hate looking at my marks and feeling like i tried so hard and accomplished nothing.

I just feel like i'm in a hole, without a way out - and i needed to vent it all out to people who understand, or feel frustrated and upset. Like i can't drive, but that hardly bothers me. I just really need advice/a pick me up/ something to smile at. My family and boyfriend are supportive and are there for me, but i guess it just feels like they HAVE to do that...

Anyways sorry for waffling, and thank you for reading if you got all the way down here! <3

 

[Soniag]

epilepsy gets us all down at times. just keep thinking how great your life will be if you just go out there and enjoy it. try not to think about epilepsy so much and you'll be ok

 

[Nakamova]

Did you talk to your teachers about special considerations for your epilepsy? Do they know that you're struggling because of illness? If they don't, you should let them know, and find out about ways to take the tests that might be less stressful. And give your self a big pat on the back for all the hard work you've put in -- you've accomplished tons!

As for a good smile pick-me up, these threads might help:
http://www.coping-with-epilepsy.com/forums/f21/cqs-10242/
http://www.coping-with-epilepsy.com/forums/f21/need-up-music-8596/

 

[stace]

i was the same i dropped out of uni the stress of the work and not being able to keep up made it impossible im so proud your sticking at uni i would love to go back and finish my degree now but unofrtunatly dont have the money, epilepsy sucks being honest and the meds make it even more difficult to remember stuff when studying i once was a clever top grade student when i left i was barely passing it hurts to feel as if you lost all your cleverness (as you can tell my wordiness has gone lol) but like i sed im proud of you and every memember here will be 2 dont let e spoil ur dreams and you will deserve your degree even more than anyone else. i dont no bout ur uni but mine had disabilty support (yea i didnt like admitting ihad disability) but serioursly they were great your can get note takers, recordereds, and computer software to help and allowences on all ur coursewrok and exams.

so stick in there, believe you can do it and kick ass in uni

 

[qtowngirl]

Yes Stace is right, proud of you for sticking to it. I wish I could do the massive pep talk thing, good for you girl. If you have a supportive family and boyfriend let them help you... study, work, write, prep for exams... whatever you need to get through it. If you have any inkling you can do it (whether you barely pass or not you still passed it's the commitment that will mean everything)... go for it!!
I made the decision about 10 days ago that I'm dropping out, just haven't informed the school yet. Am halfway through my diploma to become a nutritionist, something I want very very bad, but with seizures getting worse and recent news of likely needing brain surgery I've decided to let go. Don't need the extra stress, that causes my seizures too. SO, I ENVY YOU if you can do it that's so great!! Best of luck and big hugs!!

 

[underdog]

Keep your head up

Don't lose hope. Stem cell clinics have already started to cure epileptics completely. I got epilepsy when I was 18 too. I'm 24 now. My epilepsy is pretty much under control but I still have to live with it. Adapt, have a dream and pursue it. When I got epilepsy I lost a lot of things: My drivers licence, my boxing licence, eligibility to join the army, getting drunk as hell, and respect from my friends. So I adapted to something else, Music. Before my epilepsy I didn't know anything about playing the guitar. Now I'm ace and in a band. My dream is to become a Rock Star one day. Your also lucky to have a boy friend who cares for you. Have a dream and pursue it.

 

[Chris515]

Hi CatAttack,

I had the same problem in University. I found that the stress of the assignments and exams would cause sp's all the time. I had a sp during a quantum physics lecture, like that wasn't hard enough normally. I actually had a sp during my first year calculus exam. Good thing it was a three hour one, I took a nap for an hour and then got down to work.

It can be difficult but you can do it. Keep telling your self not to let the epilepsy win. I kept telling myself that, and I managed to finish my degree and did well. I've felt the same thing, that I would have done even better had I not been in a zombie state half the time from the meds and the seizures. But I just had to accept how it was. Finishing with a lower GPA than I knew I was capable of was hard, but it was better than not finishing at all.

It's good to talk to your profs about special considerations due to your condition, Nakamova is right. I did that and most of them were really helpful and willing to accommodate. If I was feeling wonky on exam day they'd let me write it the next day.

We understand what you're going through and we're here to help!

Chris

since the start of the year, i've had 4 seizures, especially around assignments.