Hey - this is my second post, so if it's in the wrong place i'm sorry!!!
I've been struggling with epilepsy since i was 18 - now 21. I left uni because i felt like i couldn't handle it. I did some art courses and tried to work with my creative self - but i ended up finding it unchallenging and boring. At the start of this year, i convinced myself with a MASSIVE pep talk that i could do this and i can't not live my life because of epilepsy. I started uni again, doing distance as my parents and boyfriend worried about me travelling (so did i)... anyways - since the start of the year, i've had 4 seizures, especially around assignments. But i'm not even doing that well, just pass/credit worthy... the information doesn't always stick in my mind and i feel like i'm battling 10000x worse than if i didn't have epilepsy. I have exams in the next two weeks and i'm really frustrated and upset, and i doubt myself so much. I remember reciting essays off by heart, being able to write 8 pages in 40 minutes, coming first - having so much potential. And i feel like it's all just slipped away. It really scares and frustrates me and i hate looking at my marks and feeling like i tried so hard and accomplished nothing.
I just feel like i'm in a hole, without a way out - and i needed to vent it all out to people who understand, or feel frustrated and upset. Like i can't drive, but that hardly bothers me. I just really need advice/a pick me up/ something to smile at. My family and boyfriend are supportive and are there for me, but i guess it just feels like they HAVE to do that...
Anyways sorry for waffling, and thank you for reading if you got all the way down here! <3
I've been struggling with epilepsy since i was 18 - now 21. I left uni because i felt like i couldn't handle it. I did some art courses and tried to work with my creative self - but i ended up finding it unchallenging and boring. At the start of this year, i convinced myself with a MASSIVE pep talk that i could do this and i can't not live my life because of epilepsy. I started uni again, doing distance as my parents and boyfriend worried about me travelling (so did i)... anyways - since the start of the year, i've had 4 seizures, especially around assignments. But i'm not even doing that well, just pass/credit worthy... the information doesn't always stick in my mind and i feel like i'm battling 10000x worse than if i didn't have epilepsy. I have exams in the next two weeks and i'm really frustrated and upset, and i doubt myself so much. I remember reciting essays off by heart, being able to write 8 pages in 40 minutes, coming first - having so much potential. And i feel like it's all just slipped away. It really scares and frustrates me and i hate looking at my marks and feeling like i tried so hard and accomplished nothing.
I just feel like i'm in a hole, without a way out - and i needed to vent it all out to people who understand, or feel frustrated and upset. Like i can't drive, but that hardly bothers me. I just really need advice/a pick me up/ something to smile at. My family and boyfriend are supportive and are there for me, but i guess it just feels like they HAVE to do that...
Anyways sorry for waffling, and thank you for reading if you got all the way down here! <3