AndrewIrish
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I'll go ahead and repost here what I did in my introduction on The Foyer, because that is probably where this should be, but it's duel-purpose, really.
It tells you what I'm going through and there's a bit more at the end, then in my introduction, here.
Hey all,
I've been searching the internet for several years about something that's happened to me since I was 15 or so. I'm 21 now... it's something that's been more of a 'nuisance' then anything, yet I really need some people with good knowledge, for advice.
Let em give you a rundown on what I go through.
In layman's terms, because I don't know the medical terms and have never been diagnosed, because I have never had insurance or ability to get diagnosed, I believe I have a Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex thinking, sequential ordering and general stress.
These are accompanied by jerks of my shoulder forward, or my arm jerking outward violently... it feels like I get a 1-second 'hiccup' in my brain and my body flails around for a second. And during times when I'm doing certain things, this continues happening... like something is misfiring, I keep 'hicuping' and jerking, usually my arm but sometimes my leg or so.
My triggers: (General because they seem to happen to anything, the myoclonic jerks have happened many times in the last 5 years, everyday.)
- Chess (Perfext example. Can not play it. Can not. Within a minute of looking at the board, everytime I try to think, I have a myoclonic jerk.)
- Paper forms (I have worked in a call center for several years now... everyday, I have to suffer through these 'hiccups' and... it's hard. A lot of the time, my arm will jerk and I scribble on a page and have to redo it. It's hard on me, my head hurts afterwards, I feel jittery... it's just... I can't fill out a single paper form with a pencil - I write anything more then my name, the jerks come. They come everyday, again and again and again... )
- Games (Video games, puzzles... anything where I have to think about the future and then try to form a mental strategy, I begin jerking. More violently then anything else I do though, with video games.)
- Being rushed, stressed, etc.... (Anytime I am in any type of rush or under stress, I begin to jerk. Not so much being yelled at or what have you, but when I self impose a goal for myself to meet, when I 'try hard' to do it, the jerks come... they sidetrack me, make it impossible me for to do things...)
I'm not having a petit-mal or grand-mal seizure or anything quite as dramatic, but over the years, this has become a hindrance to my daily life, I can't take anymore. I need help but without insurance, I don't know of anyway to get it. Usually I can avoid some of my 'triggers' but how do I combat triggers that literally prevent me from my complex thinking? I love strategy, I love formulating plans and focusing on an immediate goal - I can't do it anymore, though. The myoclonic jerks are violent, they're distracting to others and make me feel... wrong, somehow. Like I'm sick or something...
I mean, best self-diagnosis I can give myself is Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex, sequential thinking with myoclonic jerks.
All I ever have though, are myoclonic jerks. Would that still be considered epilepsy? I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an 'outcast' here, I'm just looking for some help from somebody, I would appreciate what anyone thinks...
Also, because this has been an everyday occurence since I was 15, I'm 21 now... can constant, daily myoclonic 'jerking episodes' I'd call it, have any permanent damage to me or my brain? Am I hurting myself, somehow?
Also, anytime I'm under any type of stress in any kind, I... can't talk. Like, I'm in a meeting with a supervisor yesterday and while talking, I meant to say 'The upside to that arguement is...' just talking, what I said was... 'Sbed... vurgh... med... ' and I said that, in three groans, as I couldn't coax from myself the ability to speak for a moment, like I was stuck in mud.
This happens everyday in lesser degrees, but it involves me not being able to speak a word. Just... I'll say something and it doesn't come out right, or it's jibberish for a moment and then it's like, fuzzy... slow, like I'm holding breath, it's hard to explain.
Lots of different things to tie in but I'm becoming convinced something is miswired in my own brain and am wondering if anybody has any input or advice.
It tells you what I'm going through and there's a bit more at the end, then in my introduction, here.
Hey all,
I've been searching the internet for several years about something that's happened to me since I was 15 or so. I'm 21 now... it's something that's been more of a 'nuisance' then anything, yet I really need some people with good knowledge, for advice.
Let em give you a rundown on what I go through.
In layman's terms, because I don't know the medical terms and have never been diagnosed, because I have never had insurance or ability to get diagnosed, I believe I have a Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex thinking, sequential ordering and general stress.
These are accompanied by jerks of my shoulder forward, or my arm jerking outward violently... it feels like I get a 1-second 'hiccup' in my brain and my body flails around for a second. And during times when I'm doing certain things, this continues happening... like something is misfiring, I keep 'hicuping' and jerking, usually my arm but sometimes my leg or so.
My triggers: (General because they seem to happen to anything, the myoclonic jerks have happened many times in the last 5 years, everyday.)
- Chess (Perfext example. Can not play it. Can not. Within a minute of looking at the board, everytime I try to think, I have a myoclonic jerk.)
- Paper forms (I have worked in a call center for several years now... everyday, I have to suffer through these 'hiccups' and... it's hard. A lot of the time, my arm will jerk and I scribble on a page and have to redo it. It's hard on me, my head hurts afterwards, I feel jittery... it's just... I can't fill out a single paper form with a pencil - I write anything more then my name, the jerks come. They come everyday, again and again and again... )
- Games (Video games, puzzles... anything where I have to think about the future and then try to form a mental strategy, I begin jerking. More violently then anything else I do though, with video games.)
- Being rushed, stressed, etc.... (Anytime I am in any type of rush or under stress, I begin to jerk. Not so much being yelled at or what have you, but when I self impose a goal for myself to meet, when I 'try hard' to do it, the jerks come... they sidetrack me, make it impossible me for to do things...)
I'm not having a petit-mal or grand-mal seizure or anything quite as dramatic, but over the years, this has become a hindrance to my daily life, I can't take anymore. I need help but without insurance, I don't know of anyway to get it. Usually I can avoid some of my 'triggers' but how do I combat triggers that literally prevent me from my complex thinking? I love strategy, I love formulating plans and focusing on an immediate goal - I can't do it anymore, though. The myoclonic jerks are violent, they're distracting to others and make me feel... wrong, somehow. Like I'm sick or something...
I mean, best self-diagnosis I can give myself is Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex, sequential thinking with myoclonic jerks.
All I ever have though, are myoclonic jerks. Would that still be considered epilepsy? I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an 'outcast' here, I'm just looking for some help from somebody, I would appreciate what anyone thinks...
Also, because this has been an everyday occurence since I was 15, I'm 21 now... can constant, daily myoclonic 'jerking episodes' I'd call it, have any permanent damage to me or my brain? Am I hurting myself, somehow?
Also, anytime I'm under any type of stress in any kind, I... can't talk. Like, I'm in a meeting with a supervisor yesterday and while talking, I meant to say 'The upside to that arguement is...' just talking, what I said was... 'Sbed... vurgh... med... ' and I said that, in three groans, as I couldn't coax from myself the ability to speak for a moment, like I was stuck in mud.
This happens everyday in lesser degrees, but it involves me not being able to speak a word. Just... I'll say something and it doesn't come out right, or it's jibberish for a moment and then it's like, fuzzy... slow, like I'm holding breath, it's hard to explain.
Lots of different things to tie in but I'm becoming convinced something is miswired in my own brain and am wondering if anybody has any input or advice.