Matthew74
Stalwart
- Messages
- 597
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I'm wondering if anyone else feels the way I do about this, and what you are doing to cope. Background: SSI stopped my disability payments because I was working, and told me I owed them $10,000 in overpayments. I got laid off because of COVID. I haven't received any unemployment payments. IDK how I'm going to get another job. I can't do the things I normally do to cope when I'm stressed/depressed because everything is shut down, including the beach. I've been physically alone for about a month now. I can't see my mother because she's more or less under house arrest at her retirement community. IDK if I can even see a therapist in person.
My point: I'm really angry about the shutdown - not the virus, the shutdown.
I understand it's a serious concern. I understand fear, reasonable precautions, etc. I do not wish to be insensitive to people who are scared. It's real, and it's painful. I'm sure that many of you are concerned. Seeing everyone in the store with fear in their eyes freaks ME out.
That said, it still burns me up because of all I have had to deal with in my life. To me, Coronavirus is a minor concern. Yeah, ok I could theoretically get sick and die, but getting killed because some driver rear ends me on my bike is a lot less theoretical. I HAVE been hit. I've gone around in public terrified of having seizures. If I have a seizure while riding my bike, I get off, seize, get up, and get back on. I'm having seizures, I go to the store. I'm having seizures, I go to work. I get only 1 to 2 hours of sleep because of insominia, I go to work. I can't walk because of my back pain, I call a cab and go have surgery at the hospital. My father dies becuase of a chronic illness, I live. I get on with things because I just don't have any choice. I didn't stop living, and that's the way it works. That's what you're supposed to do.
You have to live your life no matter what. There is no alternative. You do the best you can to manage things, not overdo it, etc. - but sooner or later you just have to do the best you can. I think that's what people are missing in the whole shutdown. The virus is here to stay, it's not going away. You can't hide from a virus. Sooner or later you are at risk. It may be tommorow or next year. That's life. It's not fun, but it's not going way. I think that many people haven't learned that lesson when it comes to their health, because they haven't had the opportunity. The cost of the lockdown for people with chronic illnesses is much higher because we are first to loose our jobs, can't pay our bills, and so on. We are much more likely to get really sick if we get the virus, and to feel it more acutely if we are afraid, but we pay a higher price for for the isolation and economic cost.
I do think that there is some good to come out of it, but most of it doesn't help right now.
My point: I'm really angry about the shutdown - not the virus, the shutdown.
I understand it's a serious concern. I understand fear, reasonable precautions, etc. I do not wish to be insensitive to people who are scared. It's real, and it's painful. I'm sure that many of you are concerned. Seeing everyone in the store with fear in their eyes freaks ME out.
That said, it still burns me up because of all I have had to deal with in my life. To me, Coronavirus is a minor concern. Yeah, ok I could theoretically get sick and die, but getting killed because some driver rear ends me on my bike is a lot less theoretical. I HAVE been hit. I've gone around in public terrified of having seizures. If I have a seizure while riding my bike, I get off, seize, get up, and get back on. I'm having seizures, I go to the store. I'm having seizures, I go to work. I get only 1 to 2 hours of sleep because of insominia, I go to work. I can't walk because of my back pain, I call a cab and go have surgery at the hospital. My father dies becuase of a chronic illness, I live. I get on with things because I just don't have any choice. I didn't stop living, and that's the way it works. That's what you're supposed to do.
You have to live your life no matter what. There is no alternative. You do the best you can to manage things, not overdo it, etc. - but sooner or later you just have to do the best you can. I think that's what people are missing in the whole shutdown. The virus is here to stay, it's not going away. You can't hide from a virus. Sooner or later you are at risk. It may be tommorow or next year. That's life. It's not fun, but it's not going way. I think that many people haven't learned that lesson when it comes to their health, because they haven't had the opportunity. The cost of the lockdown for people with chronic illnesses is much higher because we are first to loose our jobs, can't pay our bills, and so on. We are much more likely to get really sick if we get the virus, and to feel it more acutely if we are afraid, but we pay a higher price for for the isolation and economic cost.
I do think that there is some good to come out of it, but most of it doesn't help right now.