3eyes1vision
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Since a young child i have had epilepsy I don't remember what age exactly i was diagnosed with it at but it has been a part of my life for over 10 years. When i was younger having a seizure never seemed like that much of a big deal to me while they were serious cause for concern to my parents and my neurologist. I suffer from grand mal seizure and it always seems to happen once a year every summertime. The seizures have always happened in my sleep and i have always been lucky that someone was always around to call a paramedic whenever i have one. Just last summer i had probably the worst seizure i have ever experienced and it really frightened me because for the first time in my life it was happening while i was awake and i started convulsing and i smelt sum weird smell and felt really weird i don't know how to explain it. All i remember was yelling to my dad HELP ME I THINK IM HAVING A SEIZURE and then the next second im waking up on the ground yelling at the paramedics WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU WHATS GOING ON WHERE AM I? I had blacked out and hit my head pretty hard i was covered in blood. After getting out of the hospital in complete pain and dizzyness i have never felt the same...I'm always worried its going to happen again its been months and i almost feel like im waaay more prone to having a seizure then i was before, i feel alot more photosensitive and i get dizzy easily. I can't take it anymore its destroying my sanity i feel sometimes like i'm the only one out there and its such an embarrassing thing all throughout highschool i was picked on for being epileptic and im still very self concious about it and i still keep it a secret from everyone. What worries most is there are times i feel i could have a seizure and no one would be around to help me. Everytime it has happened an angel has been watching my back and someone has always been there to save me. But what about when it happens and no one is around. I don't even know why im posting this i guess im looking for anyone out there who shares my pain as i have no one to relate to when it comes to my epilepsy. i guess im posting this because i really do feel alone in this world. I want to hear other peoples stories i guess i really just want to know that im not the only one. Im worried that my epilepsy is going to kill me one day i guess im looking for encouragement above all...