Dear Lamictal,
It is with a sincere heart that I write to you in the hope of reconciling our differences. We've been together for almost a year now and boy we've had our ups and downs.
Remember when we first got together and you gave me morning sickness that resulted in my cycling like a hamster on speed to the local chemist to spend my last $20 on a pregnancy test? After peeing everywhere but on the stick, I was filled with both relief and bitter disappointment. Despite my totally INAPPROPRIATE circumstances for bringing Cleatus the foetus into the mix, it always feels like I missed out! It's like a losing lotto ticket or a Willy Wonker bar with no golden ticket.
onder:
You've also caused a posh sounding "myopic shift" in my eyes, which resulted in an intrigued Optomotrist and the words jumping off the pages as I tried to read my never-ending stack of textbooks. Oh you cheeky thing you, how you test me!!
175mg daily and you finally settled! Hello driver's license!! Yes, I agreed to swallow another 25mg of you to stay on the safe side. For a few precious weeks, we got behind the wheel of my amazing falcon ute and how we flew down those long open roads!! And to rumble up that limestone track to the New Years Eve Rodeo and sleep in your freshly washed tray like old times was divine!!
Remember that day I skipped breakfast and didn't see you sitting there on the coffee table before leaving for work? I reluctantly left work after trying to coerce the local Pharmacist to give me just one of you? He was sweet but of course my GP was on holidays. So I headed home to retrieve you and I tried to ignore the herce that ominously followed me down the freeway, ALL THE WAY HOME. Good ol' Righty, my right arm started going numb but we made it home in time. At least I could work from home and watch Dr Phil on my lunch break! Happy days!
Then you decided to mature and be an annoying grumpy teenager. We were going so well! Why did you have to resign?? Alright, admittedly I had begun slowly reducing my no longer needed antidepressants but seriously, 1.25mgs reduced per month??? Come on man, give me a break! So reluctantly the happy pills remained at the 10mg daily dose and they hang out with you in the pill box. You're like the L team. L for Loser or Lifesaver I've yet to decide.
I must confess, I now cheat on you every night with another 200mg. What a harlet I am! 400mg daily! I don't like my evening friend though, he robs me of my sleep. But alas, between the two of you I get what I need. I'm a whole woman again! You're charming and seductive ways keep me safe, so I continue to fall under your alluring spells. I guess I can now accept you both into my life. But I must stress to you there is a limit. Please don't affect my eyesight further or rot my liver. I promise you I will ensure your timely demise.
Reluctant Regards,
Wobblez.
It is with a sincere heart that I write to you in the hope of reconciling our differences. We've been together for almost a year now and boy we've had our ups and downs.
Remember when we first got together and you gave me morning sickness that resulted in my cycling like a hamster on speed to the local chemist to spend my last $20 on a pregnancy test? After peeing everywhere but on the stick, I was filled with both relief and bitter disappointment. Despite my totally INAPPROPRIATE circumstances for bringing Cleatus the foetus into the mix, it always feels like I missed out! It's like a losing lotto ticket or a Willy Wonker bar with no golden ticket.
onder:You've also caused a posh sounding "myopic shift" in my eyes, which resulted in an intrigued Optomotrist and the words jumping off the pages as I tried to read my never-ending stack of textbooks. Oh you cheeky thing you, how you test me!!
175mg daily and you finally settled! Hello driver's license!! Yes, I agreed to swallow another 25mg of you to stay on the safe side. For a few precious weeks, we got behind the wheel of my amazing falcon ute and how we flew down those long open roads!! And to rumble up that limestone track to the New Years Eve Rodeo and sleep in your freshly washed tray like old times was divine!!
Remember that day I skipped breakfast and didn't see you sitting there on the coffee table before leaving for work? I reluctantly left work after trying to coerce the local Pharmacist to give me just one of you? He was sweet but of course my GP was on holidays. So I headed home to retrieve you and I tried to ignore the herce that ominously followed me down the freeway, ALL THE WAY HOME. Good ol' Righty, my right arm started going numb but we made it home in time. At least I could work from home and watch Dr Phil on my lunch break! Happy days!
Then you decided to mature and be an annoying grumpy teenager. We were going so well! Why did you have to resign?? Alright, admittedly I had begun slowly reducing my no longer needed antidepressants but seriously, 1.25mgs reduced per month??? Come on man, give me a break! So reluctantly the happy pills remained at the 10mg daily dose and they hang out with you in the pill box. You're like the L team. L for Loser or Lifesaver I've yet to decide.
I must confess, I now cheat on you every night with another 200mg. What a harlet I am! 400mg daily! I don't like my evening friend though, he robs me of my sleep. But alas, between the two of you I get what I need. I'm a whole woman again! You're charming and seductive ways keep me safe, so I continue to fall under your alluring spells. I guess I can now accept you both into my life. But I must stress to you there is a limit. Please don't affect my eyesight further or rot my liver. I promise you I will ensure your timely demise.
Reluctant Regards,
Wobblez.
