Thank you for all your replies, I don't know whether to say that it's good to hear that there are other people out there like me or not :/ ...
It's cool that "sharing of the hypothesis" happens, my neurologist doesn't do that

Most of the time I am cool with him, because he is nice and I suppose it is an automatic thing for me to "trust a Doctor" but it's pretty irritating to find that every single time he is wromg, hehe and pretty much wrong within two weeks.
It's all weird either way, because we're technically those test-mice sort of people (you knoe where you can sign up, especially when your in financial strife) except we're not get paid, but we're paying for it hehehe ...
And the first time it occurred to me when I was pregnant with my second boy and paranoid as that Keppra, as a new drug, probably isn't doing a whole lot of good for a tiny fetus and I started researching online, because all he neuros were like "Don't worry he'll be fine, but with that said ee are guaranteeing ZERO because it is a new drug"... lol and that's where I found that online was almost all brick wall, aside from the keppra research articles which stated "The fetus should be ok,.but we don't know for sure, as testing on pregnant women is illegal... but now that your pregnant and taking keppra, why don't yoi become part of our research?"
It's strange, does that sort of mean that we are "have to lab mice" because of our epilepsy ?
Most of the time it's ok, maybe even funny, ironic, hehe sometimes it's a little scary though
Thanks again for all your replies, it's nice to hear different reactions and stories, and how everyone lives through similar situations (lol I know I might sound like a weirdo, but it does mean a lot!)
Have a great day!