Don't know where I'm going to live. HELP!!!!

[Matthew74]

My search for a place in Rochester is going poorly. All the rental properties want "verifiable income". That makes sense of course, but it means I can't find a place. I have good credit, and a good rental reference. I'm working on getting a job. There is no way I can possibly explain how frustrated I am. I have to be out of my apartment July 1st. My options for places to rent are very limited because I can't drive. I have nowhere to go.

Honestly, I have no hope. Nothing ever gets better, I keep grinding along apparently for no reason. The neighbors kept me up all last night, and the night before. My computer got fried last week. It's in the shop, but I don't have it for looking for a job or apartment. I knew exactly what was going to happen when my mother moved to Florida. On the one hand I feel totally incompetent, and on the other nothing I ever do works out. There is a music store in Rochester that needs a repairman, but they don't want to hire anyone. I got a reference for a landlord, and they rented the property the same day I called them before I could see it the next day. I go to school and have back surgery.

I just applied to another masters program. I spoke with my old professor I was friendly with. I told him what was going on, and he said the same thing my neuropsychologist said, he admired that I was still persevering. I would be happy to give up but I don't have that option.

What should I do to get out of my apartment? Resources here are so miserably inadequate. My apologies to any Minnesotans, but people here can be really rigid and unhelpful.

 

[Nakamova]

I assume you don't have a smartphone to search with -- can you use a library computer to search Craigslist and other rental listings? If you can deal with roommates, you may be able to find a housing option or a sublet where you don't need to be approved directly by the leasing agent.

 

[Bidwell]

Matt, Also look at bulletin boards around colleges and universities regarding rooms and low rent situations -- but maybe all that is on the computer these days. Also I would tell everyone you meet that you are looking for digs. I guess having enough boxes to put your stuff in is the first step to getting out of your current place. And I am offering up prayers that they are quiet tonight so you can sleep!

 

[Bidwell]

If there is anyplace like a YMCA in town that would be a logical place to check out for various listings -- housing and jobs and other.

 

[masterjen]

Check your church bulletin boards and attend the church gatherings/meetings as well to see what you might learn. Also I just google rochester rooming houses and got this: http://www.easyroommate.com/new-york/rochester-roommate/listings/l
The more people you meet the more you become known and therefore the more opportunities that are likely to arise for both work and housing.

 

[Ruth]

Hi Matthew74, 'when I was in my 30's a friend of mine was thrown out of his home. It was because he had turned 18. The parent's in CA can legally kick their children out at that age.

I think that is horrible. He was real nice and we were friends for years. Then we moved and lost touch with him. He got a job with a Jehovah's Witness and found an apartment that he was happy with.

You are real nice and I wish you the best. I know it will turn out right for you.

 

[Matthew74]

I think I'm going to have to go the roommate route. The problem will be all my stuff. I'll probably have to look for one with a garage to store things in. Maybe it's best that way. I might get some social contacts, and won't be locked into a year's lease. Maybe it'll be like "Friends" and I'll have a BFF (just kidding). It will be more like "Big Bang Theory", if I'm lucky, and I'll be Howard. Maybe If I room with some medical students they'll make me soup when I get sick.

When I was in Boston I visited a guy from church who was living in Harvard graduate student housing. It was really weird. There were four or five people in the apartment, and nobody spoke to anybody. They all walked around staring at the floor in an attempt to avoid acknowledging each others existence. There were hostile notes in the fridge about not taking other people's stuff. Weird. Another friend at a different place, also Harvard, had a similar thing going where you weren't allowed to talk this one guy because he didn't want to talk to you. I of course ignored all this and said hello like a normal person, but it wasn't appreciated. LOL.

 

[Bidwell]

I think you better go at the roommate thing with a cold eye. I know you already know that. What you describe at Harvard is, I am betting, the way it OFTEN is. I don't think highly of the idea about storing your stuff in a garage...I think wetness and thieves. I really, really would see if there is somewhere at your church [which is hopefully a Cathedral] or other friendly place where your things could be stored for a while -- where they really would have a chance of being safe and surviving. When I was in a somewhat comparable situation to yours, I worked at a job long hours. Then a couple of nights a week I taught children and grown ups flute in a room behind a music store. I also played the flute for an amateur guitar society that played for art gallery openings and things like that. It was not much of a social life but it passed for one! I was NOT a brilliant musician. I was still lonely but eventually everything changed.

 

[Cint]

When I was in Boston I visited a guy from church who was living in Harvard graduate student housing. It was really weird. There were four or five people in the apartment, and nobody spoke to anybody. They all walked around staring at the floor in an attempt to avoid acknowledging each others existence. There were hostile notes in the fridge about not taking other people's stuff. Weird. Another friend at a different place, also Harvard, had a similar thing going where you weren't allowed to talk this one guy because he didn't want to talk to you. I of course ignored all this and said hello like a normal person, but it wasn't appreciated. LOL.

My son attended Boston University Law School and lived with three other room- mates. When I visited him during spring brake of his 2nd year, his room-mates were somewhat like that. But then, it is sort of a cultural thing. My son HATED Boston and never wants to go back! I heard those at Ha'vad were worse! LOL

Anyway, have you asked around for help from the Epilepsy Foundation or other groups?

 

[Nakamova]

I've known plenty of snooty Harvard types, and plenty of nice ones too.

 

[Cint]

I've known plenty of snooty Harvard types, and plenty of nice ones too.

:agree: I was just sayin'....... IMO, I like Boston, a bit humid, but other than that, seems like a great place.

 

[Bidwell]

I don't know about that, but I am pretty sure that the coldness of college kids each other in their living quarters around universities is serious all over the country at this point because of their incredible financial stresses and because of the space burdens of the campuses and the surrounding communities.What is being passed off as "nice" housing is tiny and claustrophobic. I have become a sociologist while riding jammed busses bus through a couple of university districts that used to be spacious.

 

[alivenwell]

Verifiable Income

It sounds like you have one good connection there. Is there a state program like Vocational Rehab that could provide you with tuition and board at the college? Can you sublet at that professor's house? Does he know decent students that may let you live with them?

My search for a place in Rochester is going poorly. All the rental properties want "verifiable income". That makes sense of course, but it means I can't find a place. I have good credit, and a good rental reference. I'm working on getting a job. There is no way I can possibly explain how frustrated I am. I have to be out of my apartment July 1st. My options for places to rent are very limited because I can't drive. I have nowhere to go.

Honestly, I have no hope. Nothing ever gets better, I keep grinding along apparently for no reason. The neighbors kept me up all last night, and the night before. My computer got fried last week. It's in the shop, but I don't have it for looking for a job or apartment. I knew exactly what was going to happen when my mother moved to Florida. On the one hand I feel totally incompetent, and on the other nothing I ever do works out. There is a music store in Rochester that needs a repairman, but they don't want to hire anyone. I got a reference for a landlord, and they rented the property the same day I called them before I could see it the next day. I go to school and have back surgery.

I just applied to another masters program. I spoke with my old professor I was friendly with. I told him what was going on, and he said the same thing my neuropsychologist said, he admired that I was still persevering. I would be happy to give up but I don't have that option.

What should I do to get out of my apartment? Resources here are so miserably inadequate. My apologies to any Minnesotans, but people here can be really rigid and unhelpful.

 

[Matthew74]

Rehab is helping me get a job. School is a distant possibility, but my plan for now is to work. I really need to get settled into a job and career of some sort. Everything depends on it.

 

[Ruth]

Matthew, have you thought about moving to another city? Maybe you can get a job and a place to live elsewhere.

 

[Matthew74]

The job counselor was half an hour late for our appointment today. He was fifteen minutes late last time. There's a mess of construction, but still 30 min, after he knew it was jammed up? I don think he's going to be much help. We'll see what he comes back with next time. I asked him about getting some training on Microsoft Office, but he didn't have a clue. I showed him a couple resumes I had, but he didn't have any specific suggestions as to how to improve them. I showed him some job descriptions I was looking at, and he said he would get back to me with resume suggestions. If this helps all, it's going to take a while.

I'll probably have to call the movers and put my stuff in storage. If I get a fast food job, I can get into a regular apartment in a month, and maybe get a good job by then as well.
I asked my sister if I should try to make Rochester work, or cut my losses and go to Boston or somewhere. She suggested going to Rochester for the summer, with my stuff in storage, and if it isn't working by the end of the summer, go somewhere else. It's almost July, so that sounded like a plan to me. The only problem is what to do then.

 

[Bidwell]

This that your job counselor is dishing out makes me want to punch him out but that is because I am a lot less mature than you are. I don't know you well enough to understand why Boston or Rochester would be good places for you to build a life in, but while you figure it out I am hoping you can fortify yourself with your music and your way with words -- maybe investigate Beatrice Potter some more. Now there's a woman who never let go of home truths!

 

[Nakamova]

If there's a Trader Joe's out in Rochester, you might look into getting a job there -- they're known to have excellent benefits and an upbeat workplace. Might be a little easier on you than a fast food place.

 

[Bidwell]

Along the same lines as Nak's post, I have been admiring the people dealing with vegetables at Whole Foods -- they are as if in Zen training, or training to be jugglers. It is fun to watch them. They are so focused and fast. Also cashiers at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods or food co-ops -- those may be good jobs, as Nak points out. Those people working there are skilled and they seem to be for real. MATT, even while life seems to bump along from one frustrating Grunt to the next, Go For the Pleasure and don't give up on who you really are, which is a creative man with education and talent who happens to be On The Road!