every thing is falling apart

[bazpa]

after 4 years of struggling-3 1/2 not knowing what I was dealing with, and the last 7 months of going from 1 medication to another, because I have been either allergic or could not handle the side effects, the county has shut my office down for one weed due to a medical emergency. I have had such a terrible time since I started these medications, with concentration. The phones ringing, and people talking are driving me crazy. Things that I used to do without even a thought are taking me hours to accomplish. I have been staying late just to keep my head above water, but I am still behind. I feel like a worthless idiot. I used to be really sharp, and that has all gone away. If I don't take the meds, I have so many seizures that I cannot hardly get off the couch, and it took every bit of will I had just to make it to work, and there were days that I would lay at my desk, and faze in and out of consciousness. My time off, I pretty much did not move from my couch or bed. That was not having a life at all. If I take the medicine, I am no longer tired like that, I can get up and do things, talk to people, go to family functions ect, but work, and things that take real concentration take me so much longer. I am devistated. I have worked to build this business for 16 years. As soon as the county office learned that my main employee and best friend quit, they were all over me. They considered her my back up if I were unable to make it in. I have gotten phone calls daily, 3 audits in the last month, and called to 3 meetings. Since I am sub-contracted with the state-they have all of the rights. I have lost my best friend, and am about to be without a job. I did look into disability, but you need to have no income for months. What am I suppose to do-live in a tent, and hunt rabbits? I'ts rediculous that I have paid into that since I was a teenager, but when needed it's an act of congress to get it. Of course all of this stress has caused me to have several seizures over the weekend. I just want to give up.

 

[elizzza811]

Is this your business? If not, try going on short term disability if you can afford to...I think you get 60% of your pay?...at least I did. And then once you're out on short term, use that to apply for social security disability. If you end up getting social security disability, it will be 'retroactive' to the day you applied...so eventually you'll get a big check and then monthly checks thereafter. I didn't know seizures were my problem when I first went on disability, but I had a lonnng record of OCD, and that's what I got it for - not seizures. I feel for you...

 

[bazpa]

it is my business-contracted through the state. how do you apply?

 

[paradise survivor]

Try to reach out to someone...hang on and talk to your doc..if need b e change docs...don't wait! It will get worse if you leave it alone don't allow the spiral to continue, it is so very hard to do ( I know) but it can be done. It is most likely the meds coloring your world, change crayons!! Keep reading on this site there is so much support here, I have been saved more than once by visiting with my online friends here:e:

 

[marlena23]

I think that we are in the same boat. I couldn't function at work with the phones ringing and people talking, and I worked in a call center which made it impossible to do my job, I felt like I couldn't put two sentences together without complete silence and off the meds are seizures. It's a horrible reality to face especially when my employer made every effort to fire me until I looked into suing them and getting the ADA involved. Then they made up new rules which made it more difficult. There was no more I could do, I was left with no choice but to file for perm disability because there's no way I can work and no one would hire me. To make matters worse my epileptologist won't sign off on temp disability while I wait for perm disability because she says my epilepsy is controlled with meds and my NEAD needs to be handled by a neuropsych. I have been fighting for a neuropsych since march, not to mention my fibro can't.be treated with meds. My advice is to find a doc who will give you temp disability and file for the permanent disability with the help of an attorney. Financially it sucks, and no one freakin cares but you gotta put your health first sometimes and I wish you the best of luck cuz I know exactly what you're going through.