Fear as an aura?

[RunningGirl85]

So the more I've been reading up on epilepsy/auras/etc. the more I've been questioning this...

For years I will get "afraid" - mostly at night, but other times sometimes too. It's like when you're a little kid and you are afraid of monsters at night, except that it didn't stop when I was a kid, and I don't really think there are monsters - there are no real reasons for me to be scared, which is why I'm curious about this. (Though when I was a kid I did one night think there was a blue tornado in my room that carried me to my sister's bed, because I woke up on her bed naked one night for no reason and no memory of anything... I think I've done some sleep walking/talking for awhile now, but that's another story). I always attributed my random fear to me watching too many scary movies, or maybe from growing up in not the best of areas, but I never thought it could be related to epilepsy. For example, if I wake up in the middle of the night and have to use the restroom sometimes, I feel like I have to run to the restroom, and run back to my bed, and go hide under my covers (kind of embarassing admitting this, actually!) There will be no reason for this fear, as I haven't lived in any bad neighborhoods since I was a kid (and I don't even think I was scared then), but I will legitimately feel afraid.

Is this what people are talking about when they speak of fear with auras? Or did I really just watch too many scary movies? It DOES seem less frequent now that I'm on meds, and it seemed MOST frequent when I was in college (when I had my first tonic-clonic). Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing everything now

 

[Cint]

Is this what people are talking about when they speak of fear with auras?

There have been a number of times when I have an aura overcome with fear of gloom and doom, I know it's going to be a bad TC seizure for me. Sometimes it felt like someone was watching and waiting for me, sometimes I "heard whispers" but didn't understand. It just scares me 'cause it sounds evil. But then I'm gone............

 

[jyearta]

When I have deja-vu/aura, you would think I would perfer to go somewhere all by myself, knowing a seizure is coming on. Instead I want to go where ever there is the most people, thinking some how it wouldn't get me. But the E. always finds me. I scared to be alone.

 

[RunningGirl85]

Interesting... Mine doesn't sound quite like what you two are talking about, it's more of a fear something is going to get me (maybe what you were saying Cint), but I've never had a tonic-clonic following the feeling, at least not that I know of... Before my tonic-clonics my auras have been especially long, and usually started with a strong sense of deja vu, and seeing people/listening to a conversation almost like I'm in a dream (but I'm aware they aren't really there), and then the rising feeling in my stomach, but never had the fear before a tonic-clonic. Of course, I can't remember RIGHT before either of them - especially not the last one.... I don't even remember anything within a couple of hours before that one.

 

[Rose1902]

Hi RunningGirl85 I just saw your post and HAD to reply, because I really can relate to what you wrote! I have times where a sudden feeling of fear comes over me, and I do exactly what you wrote...Run across my bedroom, hurry into bed, and put the covers over me as fast as I can. It really feels like something is "after me"/right behind me and about to grab me. I've never understood why some nights I'm fine and others I'm having such intense fear. But since doing some research lately, I'm starting to understand that it could be seizure-related. I was so surprised to see your post, because I can relate so much to it! Hopefully it helps you knowing that someone can relate and that you're not alone.

 

[RunningGirl85]

Yes! That is exactly how I feel. I'm glad I'm not alone on that/just going crazy It wasn't even until I started reading these threads that I knew anything about having nocturnal seizures, and I've heard I do some weird things in my sleep (sitting up in bed the middle of the night for no reason... when someone tries to say something to me I don't reply, or I reply like I'm talking in some weird language, and having no memory of it the next day), and then the fear thing when I wake up in the middle of the night. Maybe that explains why it's only at night...

 

[Krista2882]

I'm the same way and the only time I wasn't was when I was in school and had roommates. So with me I don't think it's an aura. It's basically all the time unless people are with me in my room. I guess I'm just a scaredy cat and have watched too many paranormal investigations and forensics shows.

 

[RunningGirl85]

Yeah I was sort of thinking that maybe that was my issue too... But then it happened a lot in college, when I had roommates and people around all the time. I guess I'll never really know unless it happens right before a tonic-clonic (which hopefully I won't be having anymore of those anytime soon!)

 

[sturg]

Hi RunningGirl85, I have had nocturnal seizures all my life, 64 years. I am a male. I did not realize that I was having these seizures till I was 30 years old. As a child there were special nights that I became very afraid to go to bed. When I got to bed this sudden feeling of fear came over me. I suppressed this feeling, as I grew older, & then realized I was having tonic clinic nocturnal seizures about once a week. My mind association with the vertigo, shaking , etc that came with my seizures was very emotional for me to understand as a child. My seizures are now pretty much controlled but I still have given nights that this fear comes over me when I go to bed. These are my personal keys to control this for me as I live through life:1–accept that is part of your mental make-up understanding that is caused by epilepsy2-stay on AED schedule3-realize that anxiety causes fear and that fear causes anxiety as yougothrough life4-understand that most AED inputs will give you certain mental views of depression which you will come out of5-use music to redirect your thought processes as you go to bed6-if fear lasts for a ong time get up for 30 minutes, and move around, maybe stretching7-don't read right before you go to bed8-don't eat anything that is difficult to digest within 2 hours of bedtime9-use 5mg AMBIEN to help you fall asleep only as required10-use a mild anti-depressant about ONLY as required11-talk to other people who have the same medical problem as you for support. Again, these are only my keys, they work for me. You are doing the right thing by opening up and discussing this problem on this CWE website. One last thing is see if you can make a twitter attachment with someone who has your problem-then you get real time support as you experience your fear. Good luck, Keep me posted, Sturg