Feel like I visited my unstable side...

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LJ-Bain

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For a few days things have been different.
It started yesterday when I got up too soon from a seizure pretending that I was just fine. My body had a different idea.
My eyes went rolling but I was walking about and I started to rub my nose vigourously, then my ear and scratching my hair uncontrollably. My left hand was punching the wall and pushing away imaginary things.
I convulsed a bit standing then it broke I groggily went to a place I could lie down. I slept and had crazy dreams.

Yesterday was the same thing. I remember waking up from a very big seizure and having crazy dreams and starting walking around, pushing away things and scratching my head, punching my leg....

This is not normal. Does anyone else do this.
I am sort of aware, but really aware when it happens. My eyes are rolled back and it's all dream like.
I think I remember a coworker trying to give me ativan and was kicking the walls and refusing it.

I am really embarassed. I am ashamed. I was crying at work telling people that I don't know what happened and I DO NOT CRY AT WORK!
My husband just came, took my by the arm gently and walked me to the car.
He was a little upset that I went to work. He thought it was too soon.

My husband blames the ativan. I took 4 each day and I slept until 2pm today.

What is going on. Is this what a psychotic break is like? Or a brand new sort of complex? Or a figment of my own creation.
Geez, what a headache today.
 
LJ-Bain

Take it easy a moment, you did nothing wrong and its not your fault this happened. Trying to get up and move around to early after a seizure is not a good idea. Tried it myself, wanted to prove I was in control, the thing is we are, but we have to give way to these seizures. I did something like what you describe, my neuro said it was my body reacting against me, he probably was right in a way. So really I am no help to you on that score. There is no reason for you to be embarrassed or for what you said, its not there business plus you probably still confused a lot, so next time you know how you want to handle it. You cannot blame your husband for been upset and saying its the ativan, to be expected from my point of view.

What is going on, well probably over tired, stressed maybe a bit anxious all this combined brings on a seizure, so you need to see your neurologist, psychotic no, guessing and worried, yes. Take a deep breath for yourself, have a Coffey or tea and laugh a little at the faces your co-workers made. Things will look better.
 
THanks Fedup.
I am a little freaked out by what happened. My seizures have been reduced to just 3 daily which is great. I have been experiencing with what I can control afterwards. For instance, not rest for as long a time afterwards, move my weak hand to see what it can do, try not roll my eyes when that is obviously what they want to do. THis is after so many years of being told it's psychogenic and now being told they are most likely brainstem seizures. So I keep on thinking, ok, "What is real". Bad experiment.
So i like what you said, it was my body reacting against me.
I'm not angry at my husband. I sure keep life interesting for him.

I wish I could have seen their faces. My eyes were a little rolly.

Really, I'm just unusually tired. Big headache.
Plus my dog ate all of my favourite licorice! What is a girl to do.
 
I am sorry to hear you had to deal with, sounds hellish. I think the Ativan could've been a small factor, though what Fed-up said was right. I've taken Benzos for so long, they do some weird things to the mind. I refuse to take ativan, because of after effects. I understand taking it because of an emergency, and it hits the system very quickly. Though if worse comes to worse I go for liquid valium, don't get a killer headache and don't have weird lucid dreams.

Hope you start feeling more up and get some new licorice, dogs will be dogs
 
Let's hope this is just a passing storm, just your brain trying to adjust and recalibrate as you deal with the medication and hormone stuff. Have you taken that much Ativan before? If not, you may be reacting to it strongly. Certainly it would make you extra foggy. Throw in a seizure and fatigue, and you've got a recipe for good times...

Feel better soon.
 
Thanks all!
I do have to get some new licorice. I have taken that much ativan...but usually not back to back. I foresee a large gap in my memory to occur.
I was really foggy. Still am. The doctor was just saying it was merely being postictal but also possibly saying it was the vimpat since vimpat can cause you to want to hurt yourself.
As long as I'm not suicidal he said.
I'll run this all by my own neurologist on Monday.
Never before have I slept so much after having a seizure like I did a couple of days ago.
Who knows, things may be changing or perhaps just adjusting.
I'll be okay. I hope I sleep well tonight!
Thanks for being my listening ears.
 
LJ-Bain

Always willing to listen you all have for me, ive had some nights at home like this and the morning after has been a living nightmare like today has been. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
And thank you for listening as well :)

Mike
 
I have had a similar episode that happened once about a year agoand then againtwo weeks ago. It was like a t/c that I was conscious during It scaredme to death. After having my doctor witness one when I was on an eeg he saidthis episode was not a seizure but something stress related. Later a complex partial seizure wasrecorded so he was able to differentiate between the two. The neurologist suggested I see a therapist since these are two different problems I'mhaving but the 'episodes" probably being caused from the stress of the epilepsy. Hopefully you can figure out if these seizures are the same or different.
 
Thanks thornton and kathy.
Stress. That dreaded word. My eyes were rolled back in my head and my right leg did convulse but what scares me is that I was told by a coworker that I scratched the paint right off the door when they tried to approach me.
Well. Seeing the neuropsych on Oct 4th. Looking forward and loathing what she has to say.

I'm looking at forks now seeing how their scratching ability would be for my next postictal event. Just kidding. I spent Saturday and Sunday in bed and I couldn't get the kids to school today. My husband had to come home from work after my eldest said I was all twitched up when he called checking in on me.
So foggy in the head. My husband is beyond frustrated. He wants to hire someone to take the kids to school.

I left a message with my epilepstologist nurse.
It must be just stress although nothing has changed. I was actually pretty happy since my meds were really working well with their reduction in my seizures.
Oh custard.
Creampuff nelly.
Twiddly tums.
Pheasant foolery.
 
Pumpkin Pie! I hope you get back to feeling with it soon, do you take magnesium for your stress? Like you said you will get better...
 
THanks jackier. This is just a rough little go that will be temporary and not permanent.
Magnesium is suggested alot on CWE. I should go get some.
 
So. When I called my epileptologist's she said that one of the side effects of vimpat could be harming one's self like the er doc said. So scratching myself, pulling out my hair and punching myself and the wall could all constitute as that. So we are reducing my vimpat dose and I hope that will make a difference.

By the way Jackier...I love the pumpkin pie reference to go along with my theme of non swear words.
 
Hope the lowered dose of Vimpat gets rid of that nasty side effect.
 
Lj-

I refuse to take my medication, but i still have stuff like that. not that exact thing but things like it. My head (for example) is filled with noise, like when you listen to the radio but the channel doesn't quite come in and several others overlap and you can hear that it's other stations but you can;t quite make out what they are saying then multiply that by about 50. I also See vivid pictures when i blink my eyes and always have actually it took me till about age 17 to figure out that this was not normal. yeah I am starting to think this sort of thing is par for the course.
 
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