Helping my wife....

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ekuadam

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Anyone have any suggestions on how I can help my wife deal with the anxiety of my possibly having another seizure? I understand she worries about me (even though I try to tell her not to). She is worried about me driving again in a few months. And everytime I am alone in the house somewhere she randomly will yell out something to me to see what I am doing if she hasn't heard me say anything in a while to make sure I am not having a seizure somewhere (even though i have only had 3 in my life, she has been present for all three though). I try to joke about stuff to ease her worry, but she is not a fan of that. I know she will worry, as she is my wife, but I want to figure out how to help her since she has helped me so much
 
ekuadam

Like me you are very lucky, the worring about you this will never stop (thank god), the driving thing - even you worrie, so she will, my wife is'nt gone on the joking bit either for some reason, I love the bit where she calls you and you are in the middle of something or I just want you for a minuet and you go to her and you go, when you get to her "its ok, it was nothing" and you are ready to kill and still say nothing because you know why she done it was to cheek on you. Did you think of buying some flowers sitting her down and saying thank you very much for being my wife and helping me, this is one thing that I do and she does like it because she has said so, so maybe its worth a try and if you come up with any other suggestions I would be happy to hear them.
 
The anxiety and concern of your wife is very normal, and may take time to recede. The two of you could see a counselor together, if you think her anxiety is causing too much stress for you both. Here are some other things that might help:

1. Talk to her about her anxiety, and make sure she gives herself permission to feel it. Recognizing can help dissipate it. Encourage her to write down what she is feeling.

2. Focus on the positives in your health and well-being.

3. Establish a routine for when she can "officially" worry and check in on you -- perhaps a few times a day when you will both make an effort to touch base.
 
I have multiple seizures daily generally, but none bad enough to do much harm, but they do make my family worry. I hate coming out of a paralysis seizure or a particulary bad series of myclonic jerks and see the looks on everyone around me.
One thing I did was tell everyone how much harder I think all this is on them because more often than not when I am seizing I know I'll be ok (when I retain conciousness that is) yet, they have to watch, not knowing what they can do to help, not knowing if I'm going to be ok, and from the videos my husband has taken, I am freaky to watch.

Also let her know that your use of humour is an attempt to diffuse the situation. My family and I have a series of humourous names for my different jerks. I have so many ones that remind people of Michael Jackson, that my brother has told me if I start moon walking he is taking me to an exorcist.

Also look into support groups for family and friends of people with seizure disorders, or, if you can, get her to seek some counselling for her anxiety. It's not good for either of you. Anxiety can lead to other health issues, both metal and physical, and feeling like you're being constantly supervised can't make you feel good either.

Good luck with helping her.
 
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