How do people deal with stress?

[RobynM]

So not related specifically to epilepsy, but lately I've felt really stressed. Everything just seems non-stop at the moment. My father passed away Friday, & it's been busy as I am sure that you can understand, with sorting out funeral bits & that. Understandably, my Mum has also needed support, & it seems that anything i say is not what she wants to hear, or if I literally answer a question with agreement, then I'm wrong too. Me & my brother are just being constantly told that we're not helping her. My neighbours have been constantly coming in, & as much as I appreciate their concerns & kindness, people just seem to be trying to do too much. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am a really appreciative person, but have been used to doing things myself, since my father has been ill since I was little, so I've just tended to get on with things.

The Ashley & Gabby story on Emmerdale really hit home today too, as it totally reflected how I felt growing up, even though we never talked about Dad's illness as a family when I was growing up.

I'm not asking for sympathy here peops, but I know that you are a really great, supportive bunch, who are always helpful when questions are asked and suggestions are needed. I also appreciate that you have a lot more on your plates than me, & everybody has their problems to deal with.

So what I'm asking is what do you recommend are the best things to do to destress? I do the occasional runs to get out, but you can understand that I feel that I can only do these really early when Mum is still in bed. I feel bad if I leave her alone.

I would love to hear your suggestions on ways that I can relieve the stress I am feeling right now (being stressed is not a common trait in my personality at all!)

Many thanks in advance
Xx

 

[Porkette]

Hi Roybn,
I'm sorry to hear that your Father passed away my prayers are with you and your family. A couple things I do to get rid of stress is listen to music that helps me relax a lot. I also like to write poems and short stories when I'm in the mood. I find that keeping myself busy and socializing gives me less time to think of the negative or sad things going on and I have less stress and I'm happier. I wish you and your family only the best and May God Bless All of You!

Sue

 

[RobynM]

Hi Roybn,
I'm sorry to hear that your Father passed away my prayers are with you and your family. A couple things I do to get rid of stress is listen to music that helps me relax a lot. I also like to write poems and short stories when I'm in the mood. I find that keeping myself busy and socializing gives me less time to think of the negative or sad things going on and I have less stress and I'm happier. I wish you and your family only the best and May God Bless All of You!

Sue

Thanks so much, it really means a lot. I used to enjoy writing poems when I was younger, so perhaps I could give that a try, & I do love listening to music. Thankyou for all of your suggestions & your prayers,

Xx

 

[CQ:)]

Hi Robyn
Sorry to hear about your father's death.
I have always had issue with stress and do tend to get stressed easily so I see a psychologist who helps me with ways to help with my stress.

My psychologist has taught me a few techniques to help with the stress and she always encourages me to write things down. At my last session with my psychologist we went through some relaxation techniques (similar to meditation) to help me and she encouraged me to use these techniques when I feel stressed.

My Nanna passed away in April, I was really close to my Nan so took her death harder then I thought I would. One thing that helped is my psychologist got me to wrote one final letter to my Nan,. Only my psychologist has read that letter and I now have it sitting in a frame behind of a photo of my nan abd I which was taken the last time I saw her.

Another thing I do when I am stressed is I go for a walk, I put my headphones in and just go for a long walk while listening to my music.

 

[valeriedl]

I listen to music and read. I try not to think about what I'm stressed out about but that's easier said than done.

I have a friend who will listen to me ramble on about what's stressing me out. She won't stop me, just let me keep talking and get it out. This helps a lot too. She'll give me advice about it sometimes but just getting it out is what helps the most.

My Nanna passed away in April, I was really close to my Nan so took her death harder then I thought I would. One thing that helped is my psychologist got me to wrote one final letter to my Nan,. Only my psychologist has read that letter and I now have it sitting in a frame behind of a photo of my nan abd I which was taken the last time I saw her.

My grandma passed away a few years ago. She had helped me out with many things over the years and she was also someone who I could talk to about anything. I wanted to sit down with her while she was in the hospital and tell her thank you for all this but just a few minutes before I was going to go in her room drs and nurses started running in. She had passed away before I'd gotten to talk to her. Before her funeral I wrote her a long letter with everything I wanted to say to her and had it buried with her, this helped me some in dealing with her death. Hopefully where ever she is now she's able to read it.

 

[CQ:)]

My Nanna passed away in April, I was really close to my Nan so took her death harder then I thought I would. One thing that helped is my psychologist got me to wrote one final letter to my Nan,. Only my psychologist has read that letter and I now have it sitting in a frame behind of a photo of my nan abd I which was taken the last time I saw her.

My grandma passed away a few years ago. She had helped me out with many things over the years and she was also someone who I could talk to about anything. I wanted to sit down with her while she was in the hospital and tell her thank you for all this but just a few minutes before I was going to go in her room drs and nurses started running in. She had passed away before I'd gotten to talk to her. Before her funeral I wrote her a long letter with everything I wanted to say to her and had it buried with her, this helped me some in dealing with her death. Hopefully where ever she is now she's able to read it.

My parents & I lived 6 hour drive from my Nan (Dads Mum) so I didn't get to see her very often but my Dad used to go up to see her at less once a year.
The last time I saw my Nan was Sept 2014 which was when I made a surprise visit with my Dad (she knew my Dad was going up but not me).

When I saw my psychologist after my Nan died & she had suggested I write the letter I was amazed how much it helped with the grieving along with a couple of other tips my psychologist gave me.

 

[acshuman]

Relieving Stress

Robyn,
I am so sorry for your loss! When I lost my dad I thought I was going to die. He was that important as a part of my life!
If you want to relieve stress you want to keep yourself busy doing things, just like the others have said. The busier you are the less time you have to spend thinking about what may be stressing you out.
Don't ever think that you are being uncaring about someone who has passed on if you are trying to lower your stress level! You are simply trying to take care of yourself so you can remember that person for a longer time!
Relieving your stress can be something that helps every part of your body. A person doesn't realize what natural chemicals are released in the body during times of feeling high stress that actually are harmful to the body!
I have found that listening to music and working Sudoku puzzles are the best ways for me to lower my feelings of stress! :clap:

ACsHuman

 

[RobynM]

I am really thankful for all of your suggestions. I am sure that once these first couple of weeks pass, things will die down a bit, & I will be able to have a bit more time to myself. Any further ideas would be really welcome.

Much love & best wishes xx

 

[Meetz1064]

I can

feel your pain; I lost my father less than 2 years ago, & most days I swear he's sitting next to me, talking away.

My mother was much like yours as well...that scenario was ...not a good one.

Honestly, you've received some brilliant advice in keeping busy....the other thing I find helpful is something like a stress ball or a tangle toy. Squeezing the ball or playing & twisting the tangle toy gives me the chance to calm down & refocus. Cooking is good as well :bigmouth: but that's me.

Take care, & best wishes.

Meetz
:rock:

 

[KatymomtoA]

I'm so sorry to hear of your fathers passing. I lost my dad, unexpectedly a few years ago. One year ago, my husband also lost his father.

When my world feels out of control, and my anxiety and stress levels go way up, what works for me is:
Change of scenery, I hear your circumstance, and not always possible, but when it is, it really helps to get your mind in a better place. Go for coffee with a friend, out for a movie, to a restaurant etc. It's amazing you talking out your problems, or changing your surroundings and help you see things with a new, more positive outlook.

One thing I make myself do regularly, even if I don't feel like it is to go for a walk, the faster the better. I see that you get out for runs. That's excellent!

Listen to uplifting music or read.

On days that I'm home bound and cannot get out, I find making a to do list, and making an effort to to complete things on it and check them off as I go really helps. These things can be anything you want from housework, to activities, to phoning a friend or family member etc. This helps me focus on the positives of the day, and about what's bothering me, less. Also, sometimes when I'm paralyzed with stress and anxiety, this is the only way, I can keep going during the day, and it works! (for me)

I also try to put my stressors into perspective. If somethings really getting to me, I take a deep breath, many times while shaking, and heart racing and try to problem solve what I can do to dissolve the stressor, and take steps to do just that. Usually I wish I had taken these actions much sooner.

Good luck, and do your best to just keep moving forward.

 

[acshuman]

Pets Are Helpful In SO Many Ways!!

Robyn,
I saw where you like to spend time with your cats! I have had a cat for over 13 years. It is amazing how a person can forget about sp many things that may be on their mind when a pet)cat or dog) is around. They provide unconditional love, entertainment(watching their actions) and calming(purring which id very calming for their owner). It is really amazing to watch the interactions between young children and animals. They both have innocence and unconditional love to give each other and they almost seem to be connected by the way they do things!
I now that my cat has calmed me down so many times I can't count them all! Never forget about them or you will see problems! onder:

ACsHuman

 

[RobynM]

feel your pain; I lost my father less than 2 years ago, & most days I swear he's sitting next to me, talking away.

My mother was much like yours as well...that scenario was ...not a good one.

Honestly, you've received some brilliant advice in keeping busy....the other thing I find helpful is something like a stress ball or a tangle toy. Squeezing the ball or playing & twisting the tangle toy gives me the chance to calm down & refocus. Cooking is good as well :bigmouth: but that's me.

Take care, & best wishes.

Meetz
:rock:

Thanks Meetz- I agree that there has been some brilliant advice & suggestions! Much thanks to yours too-I should try the cooking one! Should get some baking on the go shouldnt I?!

Best wishes x

 

[RobynM]

I'm so sorry to hear of your fathers passing. I lost my dad, unexpectedly a few years ago. One year ago, my husband also lost his father.

When my world feels out of control, and my anxiety and stress levels go way up, what works for me is:
Change of scenery, I hear your circumstance, and not always possible, but when it is, it really helps to get your mind in a better place. Go for coffee with a friend, out for a movie, to a restaurant etc. It's amazing you talking out your problems, or changing your surroundings and help you see things with a new, more positive outlook.

One thing I make myself do regularly, even if I don't feel like it is to go for a walk, the faster the better. I see that you get out for runs. That's excellent!

Listen to uplifting music or read.

On days that I'm home bound and cannot get out, I find making a to do list, and making an effort to to complete things on it and check them off as I go really helps. These things can be anything you want from housework, to activities, to phoning a friend or family member etc. This helps me focus on the positives of the day, and about what's bothering me, less. Also, sometimes when I'm paralyzed with stress and anxiety, this is the only way, I can keep going during the day, and it works! (for me)

I also try to put my stressors into perspective. If somethings really getting to me, I take a deep breath, many times while shaking, and heart racing and try to problem solve what I can do to dissolve the stressor, and take steps to do just that. Usually I wish I had taken these actions much sooner.

Good luck, and do your best to just keep moving forward.

Thankyou so much-many suggestions there to take in, and all really helpful! Going to go for a run & bike ride tomorrow, & meet up with my best friend on Saturday-she's having a celebratory BBQ before she goes to compete in Rio . Proud bestie for sure!

The 'to-do' list sounds like an interesting one, as whenever I make one the list seems even more never-ending than when I began . It really is interesting and insightful to see the different ways people alleviate their stress .

Thankyou again

x

 

[RobynM]

Robyn,
I saw where you like to spend time with your cats! I have had a cat for over 13 years. It is amazing how a person can forget about sp many things that may be on their mind when a pet)cat or dog) is around. They provide unconditional love, entertainment(watching their actions) and calming(purring which id very calming for their owner). It is really amazing to watch the interactions between young children and animals. They both have innocence and unconditional love to give each other and they almost seem to be connected by the way they do things!
I now that my cat has calmed me down so many times I can't count them all! Never forget about them or you will see problems! onder:

ACsHuman

Haha-thanks-my cats are my life! Love the little munchkins so much! They all have their different personalities, & definitely do make your day when they follow you around the house or garden & give you nose butts and purr .

Thanks for adding that onto your already helpful previous post!

x