Family matters
In regards to family I too have had the same problem with my immediate family. Since my seizures weren't diagnosed until 27 when I had the 1st gran mal (I had petit ones for years but didn't know what they were) I wasn't living with my immediate family and, therefore, they didn't witness them. I did try to explain my situation and perhaps why I looked so tired all the time (meds as well as seizures) and I was always simply dismissed. Even when I cracked my ribs and dislocated my shoulder they would ask, "What happened?" and when I would tell them they would just reply, "Oh wow" and dismiss it. Anytime they asked what was the matter and if it ever had to do with a seizure they would respond, "Oh. So anyway blah, blah, blah." It used to hurt my feelings, but I got over it. Then I had RTL Surgery and suddenly they realized that I wasn't exaggerating or even lying. BUT, when I wasn't recovered in their demented expected time frame of a month or so they completely disappeared, exept my mom who moved in with me prior and after surgery. She started witnessing the gran mals and even apologized for dismissing them. But I didn't hear or see my family (father, 3 brothers, 2 sisters) for over 2 years. Unfortunately my mom passed 2 years after surgery and about 6 months later and a 6 month old baby girl I ended up reconcilling with some family (father, sister, 1 brother) but I don't get in over my head with them and I keep it surfaced since after surgery it crushed me to know they truly weren't there, which I found incredibly painful simply because I thought we were close and I'm always the "Go to" person when my siblings get into a bind. Anyway, so what I've learned is FORGIVING I found easier for myself and today, when it comes to family, I do what makes me feel better. Keeping it surfaced works for me and now that I have seizures again once in a blue moon my dad will ask, "How's it going with that problem you have?" I'll usually respond, "Epilepsy? Well, it hasn't gone away" and that's the end of the conversation. I KNOW they don't want to hear it and to be honest I often wonder if they even care, but I just chalk it off at this point and again, I keep it surfaced/simple. I'm lucky though because I have a husband who is more than understanding and knows my seizures / triggers better than I do. So, yes sometimes family can be tough but I remember what my mom used to say to me during my recovery, "Do whatever is going to make YOU feel better regardless of them. If you want to cut them off, scream at them, write them each a letter, etc . do whatever makes YOU feel better PERIOD". And today I pretty much use that standard. I don't yell, write letters, nor have I cut them off, but rather I'm polite when I see them and I'll have surface chit chat with them. It makes my life easier since I do have connection but not totally involved. Perhaps it's self-protecting but it works for me. GOOD LUCK and perhaps one day they will recognize how insincere they may have been, but in the meantime I say do what makes YOU feel better. Kelley