How far away would you be willing to live from a hospital?

XxBlaqkxX

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When I was a kid, I never thought I'd one day grow up to ask myself such things or even worry about such things.

My husband and I one day have a dream to have our own homestead...it has been our dream before we got married. You know, some livestock, a nice big greenhouse, a few acres - just to be out of the way of the big city and more away from the highway in a lot where we can actually own a goat, horse, cow, or pig if we so chose.

Right now, as we all know, the house market is crazy hot for sellers, not so much for buyers. The land that is further out is of course cheaper than the land that's within a developed neighborhood. Although, some land that is like 10-20 minutes away is crazy expensive for an acre, you go out about 40-60 minutes, there's something even cheaper. It's no wonder, too, plenty of undeveloped land to work on, too. So, we're thinking of a way we can do that.

Soon, we will be looking for a new home anyway so we're going to be weighing our options on whether in town or out of town would be best.

My husband is sometimes like, "Let's just get land at this place or that place," and I'm like, "But the nearest hospital is going to be an hour or more away. What if I had a seizure and needed medical help?" and of course the conversations kind of halt. I don't think it's because he's mad at me, but because we're simply frustrated that our health is so limiting.

I'm super hesitant and I don't think I'd ever agree to something like that, especially at this point where I've had to get back into seeing a neurologist. Driving an hour and half just to see a specialist is annoying enough as it is. What if we're ever in the boat my husband can't drive and I can't drive and we have to get into town somehow? Thankfully, there is a hospital close by here if I need and that has proven useful when I got ill a year ago.

We aren't technically in the big city. We can have a limited number of chickens in our little city (more like a town), and of course garden, but there's not going to be any goats or anything else here. There aren't that many houses where we're at now, but we're still in town. I wouldn't mind being in certain areas that are a bit away from us, but still have an accessible hospital nearby. I also have my parents nearby that have helped countless times with the kids when I've had to be in the hospital or have been all drugged up on benzo's after and couldn't function....

It's still our dream, and we hope to be better at some point to feel well enough to have a whole homestead, but even a house with a really huge backyard like a few acres would be cool, too.


What about you all?
 

CQ:)

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I live in town but my parents moved out to the country 32 years ago just after I finished years ago.
They live in a country town on a small block of land 30 mins out of town.

Im on the border of 2 states so we have 2 towns here so 2 hospitals.
 

Porkette

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I live just 6 miles out of town where there are farms and a country store, bank, and library along with a little diner.
I like it much better than a city and what's great about where I live is there's a bus so if I can't get my husband to take
me some place I can get the bus which is walking distance from my home.
My husband and I just bought a double wide home 28 yrs. ago and we are very pleased with it and we live in a different
type of trailer park because only 24 homes are here and most of the people own their home they just rent the land and
we gave 3/4 of an acre of land so it's not small or packed with many people.
It's over 100 miles to my Epileptologist but I know they have done all they can for me so now just my family Dr. takes
care of everything.
Wishing You Only the Best of Luck and May God Bless You,

Sue
 

Nakamova

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What a great question! For many reasons I like living at least near a city; proximity to hospitals has been a bonus I’ve taken for granted. (The details are a little foggy, but when I had my first seizures I think the hospital I was taken to was about 6 blocks away.) If I moved to a more rural location I think it would be important to get to know the neighbors and the local fire station/EMTs -- anyone who might play a role in a crisis.
 

CQ:)

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If I moved to a more rural location I think it would be important to get to know the neighbors and the local fire station/EMTs -- anyone who might play a role in a crisis.
Where I used to live there used to be 5 units and everyone knew each other.
But there was one of the neighbours bin particular I was close to and she kept an eye on everything as she’d been there the longest and was an elderly lady.

When my seizures 1st returned in 2002 and my mum had rung but couldn’t get sense out of me she contacted this neighbour who then checked on me and realised I wasn’t myself. After talking to mum they rang the ambulance.

She was lovely but I had to walk past her place and couldn’t walk past without her asking where I was going.

I moved 5 years ago and there are only 2 other units and we all keep to ourselves, except to say hi if we were outside at same time.
My best friend actually lives around the corner and I told her where a spare key is if anything happened.
 

XxBlaqkxX

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I live in town but my parents moved out to the country 32 years ago just after I finished years ago.
They live in a country town on a small block of land 30 mins out of town.

Im on the border of 2 states so we have 2 towns here so 2 hospitals.
Wow, I see. It scares me to think of my parents moving away or me moving too far away for them. It sound so immature of me. I'm in my 30s now, but they have been nearby when I've had a crisis here and there and since my mom doesn't work - she's usually able to come by ASAP. My dad is a few months away from retirement so it won't be long until he'll probably be sticking around home a lot more. Although, I don't know what all he has planned for retirement. He's the type that likes to work lol.

When I got COVID and had a seizure one evening, I wasn't responding to my husband and he called my folks. My dad is a paramedic/firefighter captain so I'm glad he could come over and give my husband some advice, bring the oximeter, and see if he could talk to me and filled in my husband on what would normally happen (after all, it had been 10 years of marriage and my husband had I had been seizure free that entire time, but he had friends with seizures and students when he worked in schools so he knew some things to do and look for, thankfully).

In the morning, my parents were getting an update and he mentioned I had another seizure that morning and they headed on over. Then, while they were there I was having a seizure that wasn't stopping, so he went ahead and called it in. He was able to fill in his co-workers with all the medical jargon that they needed for their notes and the hospital and he also helped them get me to the ambulance as fast as possible. My dad has been my hero in more than one way over the years, I'm so nervous for him not to be living nearby. I feel super fortunate to have grown up with a paramedic in the house.

It is definitely nice to have a couple hospitals nearby. That's for sure. The one here currently is about a 5-10 minute drive so it's pretty nice if we have an emergency.
 

XxBlaqkxX

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I live just 6 miles out of town where there are farms and a country store, bank, and library along with a little diner.
I like it much better than a city and what's great about where I live is there's a bus so if I can't get my husband to take
me some place I can get the bus which is walking distance from my home.
My husband and I just bought a double wide home 28 yrs. ago and we are very pleased with it and we live in a different
type of trailer park because only 24 homes are here and most of the people own their home they just rent the land and
we gave 3/4 of an acre of land so it's not small or packed with many people.
It's over 100 miles to my Epileptologist but I know they have done all they can for me so now just my family Dr. takes
care of everything.
Wishing You Only the Best of Luck and May God Bless You,

Sue
I figure when I'm more stable again medical wise and I'm only seeing the neurologist every 6-12 months that things will be a bit better. I love the quiet being a bit away from town. To be out a bit, but not too far like this would be my ideal thing.

We have transit in town and a bus stop super close to us, but I've been hesitant to take it. Most times my husband has been able to get me where I need to be so I don't usually worry about it. I remember a driver laughing at me because I accidentally took the wrong bus and spent the whole time grilling me on how I should learn how to ride the bus...it was an awful day. If I can avoid the bus here, I will. I'm not too much of a fan of it. Although, it wouldn't hurt to learn the routes again and such just in case.
 

XxBlaqkxX

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What a great question! For many reasons I like living at least near a city; proximity to hospitals has been a bonus I’ve taken for granted. (The details are a little foggy, but when I had my first seizures I think the hospital I was taken to was about 6 blocks away.) If I moved to a more rural location I think it would be important to get to know the neighbors and the local fire station/EMTs -- anyone who might play a role in a crisis.
I guess the thing about getting to know neighbors these days is something that strikes fear in my heart. Maybe it's this state, I don't know lol. Sometimes you can live in an apartment complex here and never know who your neighbors are. Although, I have noted the benefits of doing such over the years. I'm not sure what good it would do if the neighbors were so spaced out they couldn't see much on your property or something. I'm sure it would be nice to know the local EMS/Firefighters in some way or just where they would be and the response time in such an emergency.

Having a nearby hospital is something I think I'd definitely want. To live out of town, but not so far...no off-gridding for this woman. That's for sure 😅
 

CQ:)

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Wow, I see. It scares me to think of my parents moving away or me moving too far away for them. It sound so immature of me. I'm in my 30s now, but they have been nearby when I've had a crisis here and there and since my mom doesn't work - she's usually able to come by ASAP. My dad is a few months away from retirement so it won't be long until he'll probably be sticking around home a lot more. Although, I don't know what all he has planned for retirement. He's the type that likes to work lol.

When I got COVID and had a seizure one evening, I wasn't responding to my husband and he called my folks. My dad is a paramedic/firefighter captain so I'm glad he could come over and give my husband some advice, bring the oximeter, and see if he could talk to me and filled in my husband on what would normally happen (after all, it had been 10 years of marriage and my husband had I had been seizure free that entire time, but he had friends with seizures and students when he worked in schools so he knew some things to do and look for, thankfully).

In the morning, my parents were getting an update and he mentioned I had another seizure that morning and they headed on over. Then, while they were there I was having a seizure that wasn't stopping, so he went ahead and called it in. He was able to fill in his co-workers with all the medical jargon that they needed for their notes and the hospital and he also helped them get me to the ambulance as fast as possible. My dad has been my hero in more than one way over the years, I'm so nervous for him not to be living nearby. I feel super fortunate to have grown up with a paramedic in the house.

It is definitely nice to have a couple hospitals nearby. That's for sure. The one here currently is about a 5-10 minute drive so it's pretty nice if we have an emergency.
I was only 12 when we moved out to the country, most of my siblings had grown up and it was just me and 1 brother left who was working for Dad.
I moved into town when I was 22 and the seizures returned when I was 24.
I ring Mum every day to let her know I'm OK.

My seizures are much better controlled since my surgery and I only have focal seizures now which are controlled.
 

XxBlaqkxX

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I was only 12 when we moved out to the country, most of my siblings had grown up and it was just me and 1 brother left who was working for Dad.
I moved into town when I was 22 and the seizures returned when I was 24.
I ring Mum every day to let her know I'm OK.

My seizures are much better controlled since my surgery and I only have focal seizures now which are controlled.
That's good that you're able to call and mention you're okay. It's a good safety system in place, that's for sure. A good support system is something that I think some people take for granted these days. I know I have taken it for granted, then things get worse, and you can see who your support people really are.

My family group texts just about each day so they figure I'm alive when I respond :p

I'm glad that things are much under control these days - that's such a relief :D
 

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Before the surgery my mum was a tad over protective 🙄, but I got her down from 3 calls a day to just the one.
Now I just ring her either when I get up or when get home from work.

My parents are older now (early 70s) so I’ve got my best friend as a back up in case anything happens.
She’s actually in the next street from me, we don’t actually see each other a lot except for when we both get the bus to work. But I message her pretty much every day
 

XxBlaqkxX

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Before the surgery my mum was a tad over protective 🙄, but I got her down from 3 calls a day to just the one.
Now I just ring her either when I get up or when get home from work.

My parents are older now (early 70s) so I’ve got my best friend as a back up in case anything happens.
She’s actually in the next street from me, we don’t actually see each other a lot except for when we both get the bus to work. But I message her pretty much every day
Knowing parents, that makes sense :p but yeah, as an adult I'm sure it's probably bothersome at times.

I used to be so mean to my mom about being involved with my medical stuff (but I was a minor, so she had to be). I told her when I was an adult, I'd never keep her in my medical business and I haven't really had a choice. It's pretty much been my husband calling my parents telling them he is having to get me to the hospital so they can watch the kids and such. Without hesitation, they've been there when we've really needed them.

That's good to have a friend, too! Life is better with friends for sure :) I am often too afraid to tell many people about my condition...so fearful of doing so. I have a few friends in town that know, but I also won't call on them first because I know if they know then the whole church we go to will know and I'm not comfortable with that.
 

CQ:)

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Knowing parents, that makes sense :p but yeah, as an adult I'm sure it's probably bothersome at times.

I used to be so mean to my mom about being involved with my medical stuff (but I was a minor, so she had to be). I told her when I was an adult, I'd never keep her in my medical business and I haven't really had a choice. It's pretty much been my husband calling my parents telling them he is having to get me to the hospital so they can watch the kids and such. Without hesitation, they've been there when we've really needed them.

That's good to have a friend, too! Life is better with friends for sure :) I am often too afraid to tell many people about my condition...so fearful of doing so. I have a few friends in town that know, but I also won't call on them first because I know if they know then the whole church we go to will know and I'm not comfortable with that.
I’ve had epilepsy since I was 9 months but I had a 21 year gap so I can understand my mum worrying as she was the one dealing with seizures when I was a baby / toddler. Back then they were tonic clonics as well.

Also I’m the youngest of 6 so will ajways be the baby 🙄
My mum did used to come to my neuro appointments with me before my surgery but after the surgery I told her I was going to do it myself. Took he a little while but she accepted it. I used to travel to the city for my appointments but then we switched to Telehealth as it was easier (pre covid).

I’m open about my condition, mainly if i was to have a seizure and they didn’t freak. Although my seizures some people don’t realise they are seizures unless I told them

My friend and I have known each other since high school (31 years) but been friends coming up to 30 years. She really is the best friend and has been a great support for me last few months 😊
 

XxBlaqkxX

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I’ve had epilepsy since I was 9 months but I had a 21 year gap so I can understand my mum worrying as she was the one dealing with seizures when I was a baby / toddler. Back then they were tonic clonics as well.

Also I’m the youngest of 6 so will ajways be the baby 🙄
My mum did used to come to my neuro appointments with me before my surgery but after the surgery I told her I was going to do it myself. Took he a little while but she accepted it. I used to travel to the city for my appointments but then we switched to Telehealth as it was easier (pre covid).

I’m open about my condition, mainly if i was to have a seizure and they didn’t freak. Although my seizures some people don’t realise they are seizures unless I told them

My friend and I have known each other since high school (31 years) but been friends coming up to 30 years. She really is the best friend and has been a great support for me last few months 😊
Ah, I see =P I was the oldest so I suppose I'll never understand the youngest, but I remember the youngest of our family being spoiled lol.

Either way, it's true about the seizures thing. I remember in middle school and high school explaining to friends I had a seizure and they were like so dumbfounded or acted like I was crazy. I'd end up acting like a moron at times - trying to give them all the pens in my backpack or some type of thing that didn't make sense. They didn't seem like they'd quite get it or understand it.

I'm glad to hear that you have a good friendship to treasure. That's lovely! ^_^
 

Matthew74

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This isn't an answer, but it's something to consider in your decision. I've lived in a bunch of places. The most remote places were Brookville, PA, Red Wing, MN, and Pea Ridge, AR. My dad literally grew up on the side of a mountain at the end of a road. This is the deal with living in the country:

1. It's a lot less stressful, and generally more healthy. You may have fewer seizures.
2. It's quiet.
3 Your house will probably have some sort of plumbing/electrical issues, but it will work out.
4. It can be lonely and frustrating if you can't drive.
5. The community can be very friendly, and it can feel like "home".
6. Medical care is bad.

Most towns have some sort of community hospital nearby, but you won't get the best care. It's probably ok for occasional "normal" healthy person stuff, but not epilepsy (you might find an exception of course...) If you have a seizure you can get to an ER and so on. However, the problem is the ongoing treatment. At a country hospital you might have a friendly doctor, but they may only have a few epilepsy patents.

Just for example: In Red Wing the local hospital was part of the Mayo Clinic health system, but it wasn't like the Mayo in Rochester - at all. LOL The administration was good, but I was never able get an appointment with the neurologist. Even the GPs were booked solid. I got an appointment with an orthopedist about my back. He had an x ray done, told me nothing was wrong, and that I was "getting old" - I was only 40. After I got seen in Rochester and had an MRI they found "one of the biggest disk hernias I've ever seen". LOL.

Right now I have a very nice smaller hospital literally a few blocks away, in a fairly dense well-to-do suburban setting . They have an epileptologist, but in spite of my asking several times, I can't get any mental health support or referral. This is basic stuff. I was told that their psychology and psychiatry staff only see inpatients (I can't believe this by the way...) There is an awful 1-2 hour long wait to get a blood test (I'm not exaggerating).

In Pea Ridge my dad had a stroke, he was a life long heart patient, with multiple open heart surgeries. The closest hospital near Bentonville, funded by Wall Mart ($$$$), was super nice, but rural. The ER completely botched the whole thing. Basically, any ER that got my dad should have given him top priority. He was an extremely high risk patient. He should have been rushed to the MRI immediately. I had to tell the nurse that his cardiologist was the chief of staff at the hospital to get any action. I think they were actually going to send us home.

The best doctors go to the biggest and best hospitals. They interned at the best hospitals. They see the most patients. That doesn't mean that the biggest fanciest hospital is the best one for you, or that a big hospital is "good". I've had bad experiences at big hospitals too. It just that you have a better chance of getting the care you need. Doctors at fancy hospitals can be a pain, but they know their stuff.
 

Matthew74

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I'll add this: At an epilepsy center at a research hospital you have an excellent chance of seeing an epileptologist in the morning, getting half a dozen tests, and seeing two or three other doctors before the end of the day. If you go back everything should be streamlined and you will have access to whatever you need. I really miss living in Boston, MA and Rochester, MN.
 

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I would never want to live too far from a hospital. We live near Chicago. Even with all the hospitals in the area, trying to see a neurologist can often be a headache. The last time I saw mine was early last June. They wanted to see me in 6 months, but nothing was available until March of this year!
My mom & sister live about 10 miles from us, which is pretty helpful.
 

Plasticmask

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This topic has actually affected where we are 'house-hunting'. We're about a half year of finishing up this giant house so that we can downsize a bit so we're already looking at cities/areas, and I love urban areas, SO much. But we do have to take into account if we want to be able to drive to hospital, or to have a darned helicopter have to come and pick me up (should I have to be rushed in again, forbid the freaking thought). It makes the search for our new home a bit difficult, and I just might have to give up the dream of moving back out there and stay with a suburban area close to a good hospital. I understand this topic.
 
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