I'm a pseudo-mommy????

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Wow

Endless said:
How are things tonight, Rae?
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Going okay. Strange how many things I didn't realize she wouldn't have. Simple things I take for granted.

Toothbrush, hair brush, feminine products, socks, deodorant, shampoos, a razor, face cleaner etc. And its stuff I use daily.
 
Wow that's great Rae!

I bet she won't know what to do with all that freedom. It's wonderful when something like this happens after living in such extreme curcumstances, and i'm glad she's going to a happy home.

Best of luck to all of you *hugs*
 
Wow Rae, I hope all is going well with your new daughter. I think you will do a fine job :) Definitely could do with more giving folks like you guys in this world!!
 
Things are going great. Kaitlynn moved in monday night. cried over her room and all the things that were in it that she could call "hers". She cried when we told her she could eat what she wants, and if she was hungry now she could go get something.

she walked to the fridge, her eyes wide with all the "amounts of food" even though the fridge wasnt packed, but it had fruits and veggies and stuff in there. She opened the cupoboard and did the same thing. then shyly pointed to the Kraft Dinner. lol I laughed and told that if she wanted it thats fine. she could make it. showed her where the pots and stuff were and how to use our ancient stove.

We did the fashion show with all the clothes my friends brough over and she was so cute. we laughed on all the things too big and too small and then complimented her on things that fit. She felt like a princess I'm sure.

She got to go out last night with a friend, and I told her she could be home for 11. and she looked at me like I was joking. I said it was fine, because me and chad get ready for bed then. I even told her that technically we have no say when she wants to come back, but out of respect she could call us to let us know she will be home late. or when she goes out she can just say. "I'll be home for 1am" and I wouldnt care. as long as we know when to expect her. She couldnt believe it.

She came home at 5 after 11 and kept her head down and walked to her room. I asked what was wrong and if she was hungry I made salad and chicken breasts and she can come watch the end of a movie with us. She thought we would be mad because she was 5 minutes "late"

poor kid
 
Aw. Reading that gave me a real hate-on for her mom. It sounds like she has to re-negotiate new boundaries for herself, and find ways to increase her self-esteem.

Will you bring her to Cowtown when you come?
 
Oh probably. as long as we dont go before her grad (which is June 26)

I was wondering where you were all day! lol
 
Wow, Rae. It sounds like it may take some time for her to learn not to be afraid of the people in her life, including you and Chad. And I'm surprised she's not so skinny she's just skin and bones, given the history with her mom. Are her teeth okay? Guessing from the poor diet, she may have bone/teeth issues. That poor baby......

Fashion show - FUN!!!!!!!!!! Did she find lots of stuff she liked? Your friends are wonderful bringing things over for her.
 
she is actually alot smaller than I expected. underneath all those baggie clothes, I was expecting her to be about a size 3-4, but she is probably around a 00-2. she is so small.
He teeth are pretty crooked, but thats no big deal and they arent yellow, just...dull. and I am booking her an appointment with a dentist, doctor and a neuro

I talked to her about her tumor. and apparently it is cancer! but thats what her mum told her and she hasnt been to the doctor about it since, and she says its not that bad of cancer. its a round tumor the size of a golf ball. and she said she gets alot of headaches from it. poor girl is probably walking around thinking she is going to die any time now, when her mum could have just told her that out of spite. nevertheless, I am getting her to check that out.
 
WHAT?! A tumor, possibly cancerous, and she hasn't been to see a Dr. about it?

Okay. That does it. I think my angry circuit-breaker just broke. What's her mom's address? About 30 of us will show up and give her what-for. <blustering.. don't really give us that address. Though her mom's email address might give us an outlet.>

Oh, Rae. Now all of us want to adopt her, including me.
 
I wish I had her email!

I would have given that woman a peice of my mind! I know where she lives and it takes me some great restraint to not walk over there and break that woman to her knees. She is the type of lady that could starve a kitten just becuase. I am calling the city on her to condemn her house and take those poor animals out of there.
 
Excellent idea. Please do call the city. I can't stand to see any living being suffering, especially the helpless, like children, the elderly, and animals.

I'm surprised that child wasn't taken away from her mom years ago. In america we have "child protective services," which investigates complaints and takes children away if they are in danger. Do they have a similar agency in Canada?
 
Hey Rae, sounds like things are off to a great start with Kaitlynn. It's amazing what she's had to endure. I hope she can put her life with evil mom behind her quickly.
 
Endless said:
I'm surprised that child wasn't taken away from her mom years ago. In america we have "child protective services," which investigates complaints and takes children away if they are in danger. Do they have a similar agency in Canada?
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We do too, and they are supposed to take children from home like this, but they dont until the child has basically had the $#!^ kicked out them or is in the hospital for severe malnutrition.

Kaitlynn has called the cops and CFS on her mother and they always told her there was nothing they could do. but never a reason why they couldnt.

here is a picture of Kaitlynn with my kid sister Trease. You can kinda see the tumor in this picture because for once her bangs arent covering it.
 

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Yes, it can be hard to get some action in the U.S., too. The one thing that gets the agency to act quick is to mention the mother/father using drugs in the home. The police arrive, they search, find drugs, and the kids are taken away QUICK.
 
Endless said:
. I'm surprised that child wasn't taken away from her mom years ago. In america we have "child protective services," which investigates complaints and takes children away if they are in danger. Do they have a similar agency in Canada?
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I've been "ward of the state" at 2 different points in life. There are agencies in each province, unfortunately there are more kids in need of placement than there are places to put them. Its painfully difficult for the social workers, they have to decide who is at more risk balancing one childs pain over anothers. And even within the system there are things that go horribly wrong. There are places with locks on the fridges, 10pm curfew (if you don't arrive in time your locked out for the night), some cases where the foster situation is no better than the home they left. A girl I bunked with for awhile was transfered to a different home (bad behavior), where the foster father raped her, got her pregant, they tossed her out and she commited suicide. Thankfully, not long after their foster status was revoked but charges were never brought against him.
I was incredibly lucky, my foster parents were good people who did it for the purpose of doing the right thing. They started much the way you have Ray, one of their daughters friends' was being abused, they moved the girl in and applied for foster status so that there would be no legal recourse against them. The social worker saw what a wonderful environment they had and asked if they would be willing to take on more cases, and they did. They moved to a bigger house, to help more girls, and then had to move again! At the time I was there, there were anywhere from 10 to 15 girls at a time.

I said before and I'll say it again, the world needs more people like you!!!
:clap::clap::clap:
 
so how's...

pseudo mommy doing?

:) Welcome to the club. :) I've been helping raise my hubby's little sisters and 8yr. old brother for the last wow....5 years! They and their mom have been living with us under the same roof for the last 2 years. Their mom has some health issues that just made it easier to have us all live under the same roof. Like your "lil one", the girls (now teens...one graduating this year), had major self esteem issues and had food issues (they were in foster care at one point and the foster parent did not always let them eat...

So one word of advice...don't be surprised if she gorges herself, or if she has an unhealthy body concept. Those are issues hubby and I had to deal with with the girls...they tended to gorge at meal time..and hide food. they would gorge to the point of havng to vomit...and then come back and eat more. We finally got that taken care of..but don't be surprised if you see it happen. :)
 
I echo SeizingBeauty!

Big standing ovation for Rae & Skillefer!

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
just wanted to stop and give a round of applaus as well! You ladies are the prime example of what this world needs more of! God Bless you
 
Thanks for the heads up Skillifer.

At the moment its still hard to get her to open up the fridge on her own. so I got to make suppers and have her sit and eat with us so that I know she is at least eating.
 
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