Is my depression really under control??

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About 8-ish years ago after my big grand mal seizure, I had a terrible case of depression, and it didn't go away. For the longest time I just thought I was lazy, but I've been reading about depression and found it's possible to be depressed without being sad. I'm no longer sad, but cannot find the drive to do every day things, I find it nearly impossible to complete tasks I've started. I've lost interest in making things with clay, which I used to love and do every day! I have an almost cyclical interest in things like video games, once I play a new genre I don't want to play anything but that, then it switches, I am thinking it's not as under control as I thought. Like my willpower has been sapped, I just feel like I'm permanently running on empty, and every action is a chore... I am no longer sad, but I cannot seem to gather the willpower to do things like brush my teeth and take showers as often as I should (I know, it's nasty) even though I know they are necessities and that it makes me look and feel like a slob when I don't do any of those things or shave. So how can I tell if I really am just lazy, or if it's symptoms of depression creeping up on me? :(
 
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For some, depression is a constant thing that needs to be treated. One can be depressed and go about their daily life without being sad, although they may not really be interested in what they once were. Symptoms can be; feeling tired, no appetite, wanting to sleep, seeming grumpy. I am one of those persons. I used to see a neuropsychiatrist that treated my depression with an SSRI and an AED also, as some of the epilepsy meds are also used for mood disorders. Actually many folks with temporal lobe epilepsy suffer from depression. It is more common than one thinks. Please mention it to your neuro.
 
Well, I'm on a cocktail of medications for this very reason, but I still feel as if they are only dealing with the sadness and I'm left to deal with the remaining symptoms. Carbamazepine ER 800mg 2x a day, Abilify 5mg 1x a day, Depakote 500mg 1x a day. I just wonder if there's something that I need to do to make it better.
 
Some people find exercise, especially cardiovascular exercise, can be a mood lifter because of the endorphins that are released. Eating healthy foods can also make a difference.
 
Well, I do exercise 3x a week. Not much cardio, but it is pretty vigorous for me. I guess I should consider adding some cardio to my routine.
 
When someone is experiencing clinical depression, doing cardio exercises does help. True, the release of endorphins is a mood lifter, but only for a while. Eating healthy doesn't really fight clinical depression. I've been there and I do eat healthy. Depression is due to the changes in the brain/neurotransmitters over time.

Read this for more on epilepsy and moods:

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/impac...and-behavior-101/mood-and-personality-changes
 
I very strongly urge you to find a good counselor and get some talk therapy. It sounds like that's what you need. Many life issues that can be linked to depression can't be handles by meds or on your own or with self-help books. Finding a good counselor can be hard, but when you do it will make a big difference in your life. Be aware that it's not a quick fix, and if the counselor is good they will probably challenge many of your beliefs about your self and your life. There will be discomfort along the way, the changes will be gradual, but it will be worth it.

Onward and upward!
 
arnie said:
I very strongly urge you to find a good counselor and get some talk therapy. It sounds like that's what you need. Many life issues that can be linked to depression can't be handles by meds or on your own or with self-help books. Finding a good counselor can be hard, but when you do it will make a big difference in your life.
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Make sure it is someone familiar with the ins and outs of seizures/epilepsy + depression, otherwise spending time with just any counselor is a waste of time.

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/impact/moods-and-behavior/cognitive-therapies

Epilepsy and seizures are a tough burden to bear. It might feel like more than you can handle on your own. Luckily, you don't have to. Your doctor probably can refer you to other members of the health care team, such as neuropsychologists, psychiatrists, or social workers, who specialize in helping people with epilepsy and their families to improve their lives.
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Thank you all for your responses, you've helped me a great deal with this issue. I didn't know where to start with finding a therapist, so I'll take your advice and ask my neurologist for a recommendation. :)
 
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