Is your memory getting worse, was it worse before or after meds?

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I was on Dilantin for 30 yrs. was switched to keppra last July. Funny but I have noticed that when on Dilantin it improved my memory and my mood. Much more energy. With keppra I'm like a zombie. No energy very bad memory and depressed
 
My mom has been on Dilantin/ Phenytoin for 40 years. Her memory has declined significantly in the last 3 months and sometimes can't communicate. It is so hard for her. She says she feels dumb and she doesn't want to be in social gatherings because of it.

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This is what scares me about going back to Dilantin. Although, I want to feel more like myself, so I'll probably try to anyway. Did the docs have any input on why after 40 years things suddenly went south for her memory wise? Do they blame the cumulative effect of Dilantin or is it something else? Were her levels high (toxic)?
 
I have asked my pharmacist and doc about just this thing and been told "well, our studies don't show that as being an issue." But that is not MY experience! 44 years old seems way too young for old age dementia to start. My reasoning is that the neurons being stopped from jumping around also stops them from jumping the way they need to for memory recall etc. And i am told by some that i am imaging this and my vocab is great. But i see my memory is worse and spelling is worse by the day. More often i am stuck for a word that is just on the tip of my tongue ! oh how frustrating.
 
I'm brand new to the forum.
I just had an appointment w my neurologist two days ago and discussed with him my issues with attention and memory. He's a nice guy and very sympathetic to my unhappiness, but there isn't much he can do.
I'm on 200mg lamictal twice daily and 1000mg keppra twice daily. He knows how frustrated I am over my [in]ability to think clearly so we're going to try bringing the lamictal down by 25mg for a couple weeks, then again by 25mg after that.

After reading what many have written here, it's a relief to know I'm not going nuts thinking my brain has changed. I have never had such problems with attention and memory before until now.
My problem was that I started medication and a new, challenging job at the same time, so I wasn't sure if I just sucked at my job and was underqualified, or if it was medication related, or both.

Same thing goes with emotionality. I can't tell if I'm feeling down and out "normally" or if it is med related.

I'm so tempted to tell my doctor I want off all my medication and just let my brain reset. I had partial seizures that never had a huge effect on my life. I hope I don't sound ungrateful when I say that I was better off without meds and the occasional seizure than i am now: seizure-free but medicated.
 
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