Hi. I'm a newby and I'm just going to jump in. I think my last post got trashed in the virtual dustbin, but forgive me if this is indeed a double post.
I got control of my TLE four years ago on tegretol. Before that, I had tonic clonics often, and status more often than not after seizures, but I wrote a lot, and I wrote well. The two books I wrote were published and well reviewed. For the four years on tegretol, I felt happier and calmer, but I stopped writing entirely and my love for art, film and philosophy vanished. I stopped writing and seeing beauty in the world. Tegretol gave me SIADH two months back, so I've been changed to keppra 750mg twice daily. On this drug, I have my personality back, I am writing again and I feel a sense of purpose, although I am not quite as calm or happy as I was on tegretol. I prefer being this way because I would rather have a sense of identity and purpose and be doing what I love than have the bland, generic happiness I had before. In any case, I am happy enough: I think I have a more normal happiness that comes and goes according to circumstance. although I do sometimes feel overstimulated.
The problem is that my neuro prescribed my current keppra dosage with no indication of an intention to increase. My psychiatrist, who did her thesis on TLE related psychiatry, believes my current thought patterns and motivation to write is indicative of a low seizure threshold so she wants to push the keppra dosage up to 1000mg twice daily. She says I'm not on a therapeutic dose and that what I have now is unsustainable because my seizures will eventually ground me and make me treatment resistant.
The thing is that I can see no evidence of seizures. There have certainly been no tonic clonics since I went up to the current dose, and there are no black outs or any recent memory loss. I see no disorder here and am confused as to why I am being pathologised. I am well aware that I don't have a medical doctorate, and that that makes me incapable of forming a competent opinion about this, but I feel strongly enough at the moment to advise my doctor as to where she should shove her extra 500mgs of keppra. I'm not a noncompliant patient, but I feel I deserve to have my personality and talents, and not be stunted by medication because of some theory about an epileptic personality. I would be grateful for any insights, knowledge and experience on this issue from all of you so that I can be more informed about my decision.
I got control of my TLE four years ago on tegretol. Before that, I had tonic clonics often, and status more often than not after seizures, but I wrote a lot, and I wrote well. The two books I wrote were published and well reviewed. For the four years on tegretol, I felt happier and calmer, but I stopped writing entirely and my love for art, film and philosophy vanished. I stopped writing and seeing beauty in the world. Tegretol gave me SIADH two months back, so I've been changed to keppra 750mg twice daily. On this drug, I have my personality back, I am writing again and I feel a sense of purpose, although I am not quite as calm or happy as I was on tegretol. I prefer being this way because I would rather have a sense of identity and purpose and be doing what I love than have the bland, generic happiness I had before. In any case, I am happy enough: I think I have a more normal happiness that comes and goes according to circumstance. although I do sometimes feel overstimulated.
The problem is that my neuro prescribed my current keppra dosage with no indication of an intention to increase. My psychiatrist, who did her thesis on TLE related psychiatry, believes my current thought patterns and motivation to write is indicative of a low seizure threshold so she wants to push the keppra dosage up to 1000mg twice daily. She says I'm not on a therapeutic dose and that what I have now is unsustainable because my seizures will eventually ground me and make me treatment resistant.
The thing is that I can see no evidence of seizures. There have certainly been no tonic clonics since I went up to the current dose, and there are no black outs or any recent memory loss. I see no disorder here and am confused as to why I am being pathologised. I am well aware that I don't have a medical doctorate, and that that makes me incapable of forming a competent opinion about this, but I feel strongly enough at the moment to advise my doctor as to where she should shove her extra 500mgs of keppra. I'm not a noncompliant patient, but I feel I deserve to have my personality and talents, and not be stunted by medication because of some theory about an epileptic personality. I would be grateful for any insights, knowledge and experience on this issue from all of you so that I can be more informed about my decision.