Two types of friends ....
On the internet you wouldn't know that I'm quiet and
gun-shy, I never was a talkative person. I do talk though
if I'm spoken to, years ago when I could hear, but most
of the time, I spent the time listening.
However, because the type of Neurological issues I have
which also includes Epilepsy is progressive - I'm declining,
they (Physicians) cannot stop the birth defects.
I lost a lot of my friendship from earlier years of my over
20+ years of marriage, because of the progression of the
neurological declination and the epileptic seizures, although
I do have 1 friend who deems me more as her 'sister' although
she resides far away and her family considers me part of
theirs but I haven't seen them in ages.
However, because of my hobby - which I love to restore,
rebuild, remodel, etc - wrecked, ruined, etc - homes and
we (when married) took a couple businesses as we saw it
as a huge gain if I took over it.
We resided in a lot of places - some areas, the neighbors
were really obnoxiously ___(I can't think of a good word
here)____ rude! As soon as the word gets out about my
neurological problem, all of a sudden - I would be everything
from 'satan's child' to having hex and satanic symbols spray
painted on my property! (Once it was on a rental where we
had just returned back from the temporary stay in Georgia)
Other neighbors - they were a mixed batch, some kept their
distance and others saw me no different than anyone else.
But trying to maintain friendship with anyone was a severe
problem; people were always fearful that I was going to ...
you know what ... in front of them. People were (and still are)
under the shadows of MYTHS, MISCONCEPTIONS, OLD WIVES
FABLES, FOLKLORE(S), and so much more, and attempts
to dispel these was quite a challenge within itself.
It took TIME and PATIENCE and a heck a lot of ENDURANCE!
To quote an old quote "YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL!"
It holds true, there will be some who will be open-minded
and turn away from such; but you will also have those who
will be narrow-minded / closed-minded that flatly refuses to
even hear such and maintains their beliefs and fables as well
as their superstitions. You can't change everyone, and not
everyone's going to receive the education or accept it.
However - I must imply, you can plant seeds - there are those
who will be half-receptive of what you say but still hold firm
to what has been embedded in their mindset; but one can
only pray that somehow the media or someone greater than
them would impart even more influence upon them where they
would remember the things that YOU had told them and they
would open their mindset even more and come to realization
Epilepsy isn't all cut-out what they thought it was and that
the misconceptions of all they had been raised up on or led
to believe in were all falsehood and must be done away with;
at least this one thing - YOU PLANTED THE SEED - WITH HOPES
THAT SOMEONE ELSE GREATER THAN YOU WOULD WATER THAT
SEED - AND REALITY WOULD BRING FORTH WISDOM.
This is what is finally now happening in my own neighborhood
after 10 years of much endurance, patience, and perseverance.
It's been nearly almost like a slaughterhouse here, and with so
much Epilepsy exposure going around - reality has finally caused
them to become opened towards me.
While true, some have kept their distance - others have realized
they did error, and have become opened towards us and found
out quickly that we aren't what they thought we are. While the
good neighbors had been battling with the others (a few) to get
them to knock it off for years before finally giving up and throwing
in the towel out of frustration (and it's strange how that had
happened and few months later Epilepsy Foundation and NSE
were hit but Epilepsy Foundation manifested it forth on the
media, and from there, Epilepsy have been surfacing in the media
sporadically - gaining attention). The other neighbors have now
realized they've spent nearly 10 years being very foolish and have
begun to talk with me, but they're finding out I'm gun-shy...
And my son's boss, who's also our good neighbor, he's the one
who has to get me going and he's the one who's been acting as
a 'Spokesperson' because I'm just too shy and quiet.
==============================
A friend in a different way
Then you have the Mall and Stores, with me being gun-shy and
quiet, the Managers / Assistant Managers and some of the
Store Clerks - and the Mall Security - several of them knows
who I am as well; they know about my Epilepsy / Neurological
problems and my shyness. Whenever I am out there - they are
happy to see me, and they do talk with me and even walk with
me around the Store if my mom or son isn't with me; because
they know I am profoundly deaf too. I get discounts sometimes
or even better deals or even something better.
Take JC Pennys for example, the Assistant Manager there knew
me, and while I wanted this item because it was on sale, he
KNEW it wouldn't be safe for me - not with the Epilepsy and
Neurological problems I have. There was something better and
safer for me, insomuch he used his own employee discount and
plus my JC Penny card to match that sale price of that item,
so I had the very best top of the line that was safe. Because
he cared that much and didn't want me endangering myself
if I had a seizure if I used it. Even Dillards a year ago had the
same thing in mind, their sale item wasn't safe for me - the
Assistant Manager had the Store Manager put a specific item
that was safe for me, on a sale price - so I wouldn't get hurt
using it. Macys, they wouldn't sell me one item that was on
sale because it wasn't considered safe for me. The Manager
there felt it was too dangerous for me to have or use. Then
take Maxx's Outlet, one Clerk knew me, and while I loved the
blouse, she considered it hazardous - and refused to let me
purchase it, although all the other items were fine, but just
not that item. She made it clear to me it was too dangerous
and hazardous. Sure, she could have gotten fired, but she's
worked there for a long time (Seniority) but she knows me
exceptionally well. Even at the grocery store, I've had several
clerks and Head Clerk and even the Assistant Manager, remove
some items from my grocery list because they saw it as a choke
hazard and knowing my health status, they felt it wasn't safe
for me to eat those anymore.
That is how caring those folks are at the Stores / Malls, I'm
not mad at those who took away some items, as much as I
liked or loved them - sometimes I think they may be right, so
I never touched that product again. But for the other items,
I did some online research on what was on sale that I originally
wanted, including looking up the manual, parts, and so on - and
I could see why they had safety in mind; for indeed it was too
dangerous for me to use, or anyone with uncontrolled or poorly
controlled seizures to use.
I consider them friends - in a different way.
onder:
