muscle memory? yuck.

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petero

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do you experience muscle memory? it seems like muscles store memories and as reactivated during a seizure of the same type, the memories from the previous seizure come back as postictal deja vu...?
it seems like I had experienced a very long seizure, but that several shorter ones have been taking place for the other one to terminate.
it stutters like chopped samples if it is longer and active.
that was the dumbest thing I've ever done. never have a longer seizure. it feels like I impelled it somehow trying to shame someone. never get "active" during a seizure.
 
it has reminded me of a long strip of motion film that bundled up into my mind that has been coming out in smaller strips for each smaller seizure of the same type, but maybe using different groups of muscles. I'm not sure. My groin/waist area always seems to hurt, residual spasms still and things.

I wet my pants even on the way home from work last night waiting for the bus. :|
fun stuff - blacked out while I was standing looking at a sign outside, and then next thing I realized I was soaked in urine. lol
at least I had a drink with me - "whoops!" right
 
yeah, one of the ways i know i have had certain types of seizures is that I wake up naked in bed. and stuff is knocked over between where I was sitting at my drafting table and my bed. and or my jeans are on my desk.
 
this is relating to a bit of an ambulance/ER thing that has been bouncing in my head and is really quite disgusting at times
it's as though groups of muscles will animate postictal now day two and have a blurb of "belief" along with it - but belief in things that are absurd but become joined with a new type of plausibility as seemingly new ideas backtrack toward the previous seizure of the same type and that something happened during that seizure - seizure activity, interactions
 
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