Parker anyone?

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Cinnabar

Cinnabar

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"Dorothy Parker - American writer and poet, best know for her caustic wit, wisecracks, and sharpe eye for the 20th Century urban foibles"

Enjoy! One of my favorite broads. So, here she goes...

1) Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond wheel chair.

2) It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard said when leaving the hospital after an abortion

3) When asked to use to word "horticulture" during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-a-Sentence... Parker replied: You can lead a hore to culture, but you can't make her think.

4) I like to have a Martini, two at the very most. After three I'm under the
table, after four I'm under the host.

5) You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

6) Wit has truth in it, wisecracking is simply calisthentics with words.

7) I don't care what's written about me as long as it isn't the true.

Always Laurie :lol:
 
Her and George Burns must have been drinking buddies at some point!....

Those are great. I was gigglin'!
:rock:
 
Oh, she drank with many at the Algonquin Hotel in NYC, with Alexander Woollcott, Robert Benchly, other jouranlists and editors, even Ruth Gordon (who I loved in "Harold and Maude"). Their "Alqonquin Round Table" was exclusively roped off (a red velvet) to seperate themselves from the "others." They would go there for lunch hour and never return to work. Dorothy drank herself to death and her ashes were left in her accountant's drawer (Sad. But I think she'd have it no other way!) ... When living in the city, I frequented the Alonquin but was never so witty as to be "roped off". With friends, some snappy talk and spilled drinks...
Glad you liked it! Always Laurie
 
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What I wouldn't have given to be a fly on the wall next to that round table!

Cinnabar, did you know that in New Hope -- either in the James Michner building (across the bridge) or it in, there's a playwright's "museum" where there are displays and personal artifacts of the many people who lived or summered in New Hope. And one of them is a talking display of Dorthy Parker's witticisms. If you haven't been there and it's not too far, look ot up, it's a hoot!
 
Thanks! Someday I must get there. And a talking display?! Big fan. Read her autobiography "What Fresh Hell is This?". I have been known to quote this when the occasion calls for it!
 
Oh, I MUST get that autobiography. Thanks Cinnabar. There also a wonderful compilation of her quotes. It's in paperback, put out by Penguin, I think...
 
There's also the "Portable Dorothy Parker" containing all of her short stories and her reviews. My favorite short is "Big Blonde" which was made into a short movie.
 
I love Dorothy Parker's stuff, although her own life was tinged with sadness. She was the one who said -- "Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses". She also had a dark poem about the different, flawed ways to off oneself -- but ended with "you might as well live". Worth renting the movie about Dorothy Parker that starred Jennifer Jason Leigh and Campbell Scott. It's not perfect, but they are fun to watch.
 
Right, Cinnabar, it IS called "The Portable Dorothy Parker." We can bring it with us when we go to lunch at the Algonquin and ready aloud in homage to Dorothy Parker! Name a day and a time...I'll be there. (Except Mondays.)
 
Nak, I believe the poem about offing herself was titled "Resume". Oh, I was disappointed in the movie. I had such high expectations! I could barely make out what Jennifer Jason Leigh was saying. I want a re-make!!!
 
Well, we might have to make it next Halloween cause I'm going to a party. Maybe, I'll go as Dorothy...I'm so glad I'm not the only fan here!!!
 
I could go as the file cabinet where her ashes lied. That's pretty gruesom for Halloween!
 
Resume

Cinnabar said:
Nak, I believe the poem about offing herself was titled "Resume". Oh, I was disappointed in the movie. I had such high expectations! I could barely make out what Jennifer Jason Leigh was saying. I want a re-make!!!
Click to expand...

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give
Gas smells aweful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker


I remembered this poem that I got in a book I got eighth grade called Reflections on a Watermelon Pickle. (1968)

Reflections On a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received As a Gift From a Friend Called Felicity

During that summer,
When unicorns were still possible;
When the purpose of knees
was to be skinned;
When shiny horse chestnuts
(Hollowed out, fitted with straws
Crammed with tobacco
Stolen from butts
In family ashtrays)
Were puffed in green lizard silence
While stradeling thick branches
Far above and away
From the softening effects
Of civilization;

During that summer--
Which may never have been at all;
But which has become more real
Than the one that was--
Watermelon ruled.
 
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I especially like the last stanza. What a beautiful poem! And I love long titles.
 
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