So tired of that insecure feeling

[Carpentergirl]

Ya know....I don't like to complain...because I consider myself lucky to only have seizures every few months...but I really do hate how much they alter my whole outlook on life afterwards....I get this whole feeling of doom and gloom attitude about everything I do....every small task...towards everthing! It sucks so bad! And Im in such a pissed off agitated mood for the first few days, and then this total insecure thing for a few weeks...I hate it....I know it could be so much worse...seizures every week, or day even...It still gets to be too much sometimes...sorry...just tired of hearing all the time of "how much harder it is on the family, than you" blah blah blah....(I just had a couple honker ones Friday night by the way...still trying to get back to normal)...:rock:

 

[Howll]

I feel you, I've not had many seizures, 4 TCs in ten years. But jeez, after my last one my life is just sucking hard. Always suffered with anxiety, but now it's constantly on my mind. Every little thing I do, always comes with the thought of "what if I have a seizure?".

I keep seeing shit about seizures changing over time and stuff, and think what if mine do etc. But it's just all so negative, there's no clear cut pattern with E, so they could well change for the better.

But yeah, I feel you.

 

[Carpentergirl]

I don't think it's even the mindset of worry of having the seizure so much....it's just this strange anxiety that always comes afterwards and sticks around for quite some time...now I will admit I had a harder time back in September and for two weeks I was a huge mess crying every day and thinking I was going to die for some strange reason and it went away in a bout two weeks....and this time around it's not as bad...but that anxious feeling is still there, and at least I know to recognize that it's just temporary....I just wish we didn't have to go through the after math....the seizures and what it does to our bodies is bad enough....on top of all the medication...

 

[Howll]

Ah, I get you. So more the immediate time after a seizure rather than a longstanding worrying?
I get the death thing, but unfortunately it's more constant than just directly after a seizure. Heck, I had it earlier today. It's really quite amazing what our own minds can make us believe, and how we have such little control over it.

 

[Nakamova]

It hasn't been easy, but I've learned to ask for extra help from friends and family in the aftermath of a seizure because I know I am more vulnerable. After one particularly bad seizure, a friend of mine called every day for a month. Not to check on me, just to chat. We made a point of NOT talking about seizures or epilepsy and instead talking about neutral or positive things.

 

[Cint]

Unfortunately, anxiety does complicate E for some and, if so, you need to talk to a therapist. I was seeing a neuropsychologist for a while because of the anxiety due to seizures.

Read here for more info:

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/impact/moods-and-behavior/mood-and-behavior-advanced/anxiety-disorders

It is good to have some family/friend call and check in on you after a seizure. Not necessarily to talk about the E and seizure(s) themselves, (that's what the neurologists are for) but life in general, what you can do.

 

[Carpentergirl]

luckily ive had my live in boyfriend for three years now. He has gone through it about 5 different times...so he knows what to expect. My daughter is 13 and she has grown up with this. waking up at night...calling my sister down the road. ...but I just turned 40 in December, and i'm noticing about every other episode....which can be about once every 4-5 months ... just totally freaks me from the inside out...everywhere I look...everything I think...I get this anxious feeling and worry feeling and sense of not being able to accomplish something....I just keep telling myself that it will pass in a few weeks like last time...thank you everyone for replying...it's always nice knowing you are never alone...

 

[Matthew74]

Carpentergirl, Does the anxiety seem more mental, emotional, or physical? Are you thinking about seizing or other things?

The reason I ask is that I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but I'm not an anxious person in the most obvious sense. My body though freaks out sometimes. Like right now I can't sleep. Sometimes my chest tightens up and my heart starts besting hard. My seizures aren't that bad, but they could be related.

 

[Matthew74]

I just wanted to add that it is E is NOT harder on your family than it is you!

E affects everyone of course, but it was ignorant and insensitive for someone to say that to you. They would think differently after getting thrashed by a GM!

 

[Carpentergirl]

The seizures themselves are usually the last thing on my mind...it's usually the stress of paying bills and supporting my family etc...I worry a lot about that because I'm not married and although I do have a man, we don't have a huge spread and if something were to happen to me it would be bad...and I would say that the anxiety can be both mental and physical sometimes...the physical part I notice only at night when I'm lying in bed...I'll be reading or on my lap top and notice that I have a tightened grip in one of my hands...and sometimes a "hardened" breathing...but...this always goes away a few weeks after the seizures so far...all I can do is wait it out, and wait for it to go away like last time...I will say one thing...I did start working out last week, and it sure did help with the muscle aches that I usually get after grand mals...I usually can't hardly walk after...this time, I had three....and I got around just fine...still slept for an entire weekend...but at least didnt' feel like I had been put through a hamburger grinder...

 

[Cint]

The reason I ask is that I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but I'm not an anxious person in the most obvious sense......... My seizures aren't that bad, but they could be related.

Yes, like I said in my previous post, Epilepsy and Anxiety often DO go hand in hand. It could be the AED or it could be the stress from the seizures themselves.

http://www.epilepsy.com/learn/impac...and-behavior-101/mood-and-personality-changes

Anxiety disorders

Probably the next most common psychological disorder involves anxiety. Anxiety and epilepsy are so closely linked that seizures sometimes are mistaken for panic attacks in those who have never had seizures before.
About 4% of the general population has generalized anxiety disorder, a constant state of tension or worry.
The number is much higher for people with epilepsy. It's possible that this disorder is caused or made worse by seizures.
Anxiety disorders have been associated with the amygdala, a structure in the front part of the temporal lobe. The seizures of temporal lobe epilepsy frequently affect the amygdala and cause it to act in different ways.
Anxiety can also be directly related to the possibility of seizures. Not knowing when a seizure may occur can increase worry about having one in an embarrassing or dangerous situation.
Certain kinds of people are more susceptible to anxiety disorders.
Genetic influences and a person's response to stress may play a part in their development.
Women are more likely than men to have anxiety disorders, and patients with nonepileptic seizures also have higher rates of anxiety.
The presence of auras involving fear has been linked to anxiety disorders.
If you have problems with anxiety, talk to your doctor. There are medications that are effective for anxiety, and some seizure medicines are known to have an anti-anxiety effect.

 

[Carpentergirl]

i think its stress from the seizure itself...Its only opinion....im not a dr...I just say that because this only lasts for a few weeks...and ive been on my medicine for 13 years...I only go thru this after a seizure...