Stuff Epileptics Say : )

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"See you all in a few days...gonna go seize. Do funny things while I'm gone!" (I missed you guys!)


"Well never have to worry about the prices of petrol! Bike chains on the other hand..."

"Stop clenching your shirt, Seize. You'll ruin your nice ironing job that you've done this morning."

"You were her TA? Ah, sure then you know she's really into her modern dance...I think it's possible we're getting the preview of a new choreography? No, the blood isn't real...(hushed) that you know of..."

" Playing the drum was a good choice! So glad I picked that...I'm great with rhythm and sometimes...well occasionally, I can even stay on beat while seizing!"

"The vocalising and shouts are the way she warns up. And the Irish sean nos (old style of) singing allows the singer to sit so she's just preparing. You're all in for a treat during the show!" (Seriously happened haha)

"I'm so glad I found a short stool...less distance to fall!"

"We are NOT going into City Centre for St. Patrick's Day. One, the streets will be covered tourists and vomit, the two likely connected, and two, there will be so much going that the Garda cars will give me a seizure."

"No, EpilepticFriend. Guinness isn't food, it is alcohol. No, it isn't a trigger for me. My meds don't interact. Here, eat a piece of bread- same calories, no hospital visit!" : )

"I know you can understand us, EpilepticFriend; there's no need for "the smile and nod", you jokester. Oh...those are atonic seizures."

"I can't tell if I'm twisted or if I'm having auras..."
"How much have you had to drink, Seize?"
"My usual 4 pints, then a few Jameson shots, God those were expensive, another pint...oh wait, then that tourist who told me he wanted to listen to me read the phone book, no I'm NOT lying about that, bought me another. So 6 pints, 4 shots? Oh, and a cider. Two ciders. Honest, that's pretty normal. Dennis our 'tender knows."
"Holy Jesus. You're really...that's impressive. How are you walking right now? I'm going to go with...both?"

"Can I see your driver's license...one day I shall have one- it is decreed!"
 
this has made me giggle after an interesting day made it so better,

after waking up arm jerking to it own interpreted dance through my drink all over my fav t-shirt so have a very unique stain one off art top lol

tidyed up just found my shoe in the oven n keys in the microwave lol had a

random conversation with my friend where i repeated everything with him interupting and finishing my story off making me for a min think he was psyhic b4 i was like oh wait how many times have i told u

some times you just gotta have a laugh
 
This made me laugh. I think it is good to laugh. Why would laughing be a problem? A lot of people will laugh at diseases or disabilities they have it doesn't hurt anything. :)

I have heard some strange things, but these just made my day...there was one instance that apparently when I came out of a seizure I though I was 10...I laugh at myself.

This is how the conversation went:
"Honey are you feeling better?"
"Um...who are you and why are you in my bed?"
"I'm your fiance, remember?"
"I am way too young to be engaged or whatever. Grandpa is taking me to school tomorrow." (I was so excited at this point lol)
"Um, how old are you honey?"
"I'm 10 and quit calling me that you're a creep."
"Who do you live with?"
"Are you stupid?! (getting aggravated) I live with my mom, stepdad, sister and brother. DUH!"
"Well I'm a friend of your mom's."
"Well why are you in my bed you creeeeep?"
"I was told to watch you."
"So you laid in my bed with me?! Watching means just checking on the person once in a while."
"..."
"I start school tomorrow!" (excited once again)

after that I just kinda passed out, but it just makes me laugh
 
Apparently I offended someone at a bike co-op while I was doing volunteer work.

(for the sake of the record I can be a bit abrasive, and have been banned from being around kids for swearing to much. And saying offensive things. I prefer to work alone if given the choice.)

I gave a girl back her bicycle and was talking to her, and she said she was going to see "the shakes" out of town tomorrow. I asked her if it was the alabama shakespear festival or a bunch or epileptics. Truthfully neither one is impossible around here, and I think, "the shakes" was the nickname for the shakespear festival for a while.

Turned out she has tourettes and got offended. Had to apologize to her. Apparently it is a band.

Didn't bother to tell her epileptics say much more offensive stuff to each other when no one else is around.
 
Haha how were you every supposed to know that?? That's stupid that you had to apologise for making a joke about *your own* issue without knowing she had one.



"Meanwhile, in Epilepsy Land..."

"It took me 5 whole days to get all of that collodion gel and glue out of my hair. I seriously looked like Albert Einstein walking out of the hospital..."

"I forgot This. Wait! I forgot That too. Okay I promise, last Thing I forgot. Okay really last Thing, I promise."

"I dreamed about that weird paramedic last night."

"If you don't call the paras I'll make you cookies."

"Stop talking. You're drunk. No, you're okay actually haaaa! I'm going to seize."
 
Seizure? Im scared call 911. Wait! Nevermind they costs to much ill just sleep it off.
 
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Ouchhhhh! Ma ton fweeking hoots! (My tongue freaking hurts!)
 
Maybe just this once you could act like you didn't tell me something and not that I forgot whatever it was you claim to have told me.
 
"Oh it's cool, she's just seizing. No worries. If she's in her room we always hear a big 'whumph' and some smaller thuds like someone's pounding a nail into the wall, her broken fingers probably, and maybe some shouting or groaning while the thuds speed up and then there's a minute or so of quiet...then lots and LOTS of swearing, usually something like "Mother******! AGAIN? Sh!t, now I've got to change the bedsheets (or clean the floor). AND my damn trousers! What the hell?? God, why can't I have ONE fecking seize where I magically land on that g--damn toilet?!?" We know she's perfectly safe when that happens."

Oh, no, it's nothing weird. I'm an avid swimmer! I keep these sets of extra shirts/trousers in my desk here, instrument cases, and even in satchel I bring to Uni classes. One never knows when they might get that urge to swim! haha

I just went on a two week "seizure vacation" ...welp, back to reality again.
 
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Things *this* epileptic says ..

"I'll start living in the moment when I stop seizing in the moment."

and (for the Xth time today)

"Where are my glasses?"
 
having to explain to people it happens all the time
 
Oh my gosh, I truly love these posts!!! I needed a good laugh and a reminder that sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. I am somewhat new to this and have trouble coping sometimes. This definitely helps! Thank you so much!!!

I have to say this is my favorite so far.
"I'm sorry I'm so weepy...it's the Keppra...no seriously, I've cried at Planet Earth AND a gum commercial. Beat that haha."
 
And seizuriffic...you are awesome! I hope I can learn to have your attitude about my seizures one day rather than being frustrated. Thank you for the laughs!!!
 
i said this to my husband the other day...

"it would be so nice if i ask "do you smell that?" your reply could be "what smell? oh yeah i smell that too" sure it's not gonna be true...but it would just make me feel better. thanks."
 
That actually happened to me last night! I was so happy when my wife said "Yea! What is that?"
 
I enjoy the looks I get when I say that I could be having a seizure while I'm speaking to them and they would never know it unless I told them. (I have complex partials.)
 
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"Did I just start talking nonsense? I feel like I was talking nonsense. I get this weird far-away-from-reality feeling sometimes and I am never sure if what I'm saying makes sense...was I?"
Half the time it's a confused "Noooo...why?"
The other half is this odd look like "WTF?"

"Errrm can you get me a new towelette please?"

"I never wear high heels. No, really. I never wear them."

"I know it sort of looks like a "gangsta" chain and it's way too big and heavy for my little wrist but you just can't wear my medical ID bracelet for your thug gig. Why? Because no one will take you seriously unless you change your name to DJ "E". Actually, now when I think about it that way, that would be priceless, ngaw go ahead. Aaaahaha, DJ "E"..."

"Sweetheart, those aren't TicTacs..."
 
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"No I can't blow you, I had a seizure yesterday and my tongue is all fucked up!"

"Did that make sense? Did I tell you this already?"

"Did I eat today?"

"Where is my bicycle????" (while on the floor of the car seizing)
 
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