Hello everyone, I'm new to coping with epilepsy and I've found myself fitting in with many posts. I'm 27yrs old and I've been in psychiatric treatment for 12yrs for depression, anxiety, and OCD. since 1993-4 when I was 10 I've had sleeping issues that are a bit different than the common sleep disorders associated with depression. My falling asleep in high school actually led towards people giving me nicknames for my inability to stay awake. I also had episodes in college where I'd go into a funny sleep state where my eyes would roll back and I would drool, I'd come to embarrassed with my friends looking on, not knowing if I was joking or what to think. These same friends have told me that during these states I've often times started drawing as if I were conscious. I was surprised to find this out as I didn't even know I did this. My what are believed to be simple partial seizures usually happen when I'm trying to get to bed. I'll have a vibrating feeling on my lips, my hands get clammy and my heart starts to race, and I feel a feeling of euphoria. During these episodes I can say that there is no other feeling in the world that compares even sex to the feelings I get. I feel as though I can understand the language of the universe and I'm one with the world. Sounds new-agey but that is how it feels. I see colors and shapes and they have a feeling that I've always known them. It also feels as if I'm dying and being born at the same time. I only get these episodes about once a month that I can remember, though some of my dreams I suspect might be sleeping auras as I dream of colors having vivid meaning and have qualities of other senses like a color has a taste or texture. The waking episodes only last for a few minutes and vary in intensity. I wish I could have the intense euphoric seizures more often, as I have a headache on the left side of my head and left side only everyday. The feeling is similar to a burn on the skin as it is intense and lasts a long time. It feels like there is broken glass in my head and its poking my head. I can say my cognition, mood and personality are affected. I have a feeling that my thoughts are being forced and it is very uncomfortable and distressing. I've been on tegretol, lamictal, topamax, depakote and gabapentin nothing has worked thus far but I feel the gabapentin might have a slight benefit. I'm supposed to see an epileptologist in early February and I'm praying they'll be able to help my headaches and seizure events. Two psychiatrists unrelated in practice made the diagnosis of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy the second was quite confident and intrigued at my condition. I've been endlessly searching temporal lobe epilepsy on the internet since, and I'm so surprised at how similar my condition is to others with simple-partials. The posts people have written describing their experiences with temporal lobe epilepsy are incredibly valuable as a textbook could never describe the nuances of a simple partial seizure. I've only had one spell were I did go unconscious, and remember feeling the deja vu feeling and as if time had slowed, this was when I was 16 and the psychiatrist thought nothing of it. Dude I fell and went unconscious! Anyways I'll end my long post here and if anybody has any advice I'm open to everything. Thanks.