What do you say when people ask how you're doing?

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jemsister

jemsister

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I've never known how to answer the question, "How are you doing?" Lately I've been having a ton of issues, for the last several months, with medication switches, lots of breakthrough seizures, sodium depletion, a couple of instances of needing IV saline to bring up my sodium, etc. etc.

So when people ask me how I'm doing within this context, I never know what to say. Things are volatile, yes, but when my sodium is up, and I'm not having a seizure in that moment, then I am more or less fine--in that moment. But at the same time, with having all this crap going on causing more breakthroughs and tons of meds and whatnot, then I can't really tell them I'm better either. I've come to loath this question for this very reason. There doesn't seem to be a simple answer. I've settled on saying, "So-so," or, "Hangin' in there..." :paperbag: I guess this is the problem with having an invisible condition. You look fine, you act fine, so what's your problem? I've often had people tell me, when I tell them about the partial seizures I have, "Oh, that's not so bad." :ponder:
 
i am alive,


which is fine considering the alternatives
 
Yep. I'm alive. Or, still breathing. Something like that on bad days. Otherwise I answer honestly.

Today I would probably say "Still kickin'!" because I feel like a goddamned time bomb.
 
With all the "hell" I've been thru and knowing the alternatives, I've gotten to the point of saying I'm fine. I've learned that most people don't really want to know, anyway. When their eyes glaze over, then I'm done talking 'cause I know they are done listening.
 
i have learned keep it vague, no one cares about burning headaches, chronic pain, other fun stuff,
and most people are waiting for their turn to talk.

but then again, sometimes so are we.


few people do take the time to actually ask how often my seizures are and if they are getting better.
 
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I suppose I hate being asked this question, "how are you," or, "how are you doing"... I'll often say "I'm fine," but it sounds like such an empty, flat response. I wish I didn't have to force a smile, and there's not a lot going on in my life right now - I'm constantly hoping for a time where I can respond with some genuine good news, something new and exciting that's cropped up.
 
you can tell people I am rocking out with with my cock out
 
jemsister

That is a question I have come to hate as well especially when people who are supposed to know what your going through, me I find myself saying "I am above ground, its better than below it I think"
 
I too have come to HATE this question.

I try to find something to say something positive about, like it's a pretty day.

May I vent here!!! I asked a friend to lunch, it was a nice day, the diner was nice. Then my friend. or should I say x-friend said that I was such a negative person that she found it hard to be around me.
I have chose to stay by myself since that day, I've refused lunch and dinner out.
This is the same friend that calls me and my husband when her hip goes out and we need to take to her to the hospital and then bring her back home.
 
I usually stick with "Pretty good, how about yourself?"

If it's a close family member or a friend, I might be more specific, but usually I try to keep things to myself. This will sound terrible, but I don't think people care much about details. Sometimes I'll hint at not being well, but it's only with a simple, "I've been better, but life goes on!" or something like that.
 
The reason I brought it up is because people are asking me how I'm doing because of these issues I've been having. So saying, "I'm fine," seems weird, but then what can I say? Okay for now, but watch out? LOL!
 
I was having this exact conversation with a wise friend over dinner on Friday. She brought it up about something totally unrelated that she's dealing with. Her statement was "People don't usually really want the details, but they generally do want to know that you'll be fine." I've struggled with this question as well because of what's going on now... so maybe I should respond "I'll be fine" --leaves out the immediate, and sounds positive?... kinda?
 
Hey, that is a really smart answer. I like that. =) Never thought about it that way.
 
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