Kyla
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Doctors are always on the fence. Some say I'm having seizures, and other do not. Want to know your guy's input. Or if anyone experiences 'seizures' (if they are seizures) like this, it would be comforting to know I'm not alone on this. I'm sorry for this being really long.
They first started off as being short stare offs. It's almost like your day dreaming but you're not thinking about anything. My vision would go blurry (it feels as though your eyes are trying to go cross eyed, if you were to cross your eyes right now just to the point where everything is blurry (so you're not actually crossed eyed), that's what it's like). This would last about 10 seconds. I would stop what I'm doing, and just feel somewhat weak. I can usually feel when these are going to come on. It usually starts with my eyes, I can feel them trying to become blurry. I've tried fighting it before (by essentially trying to 'uncross' my eyes. I'll be successful for 1 second, then immediately get sucked back into a full blown episode and become to weak to try and fight it).
Then those changed. Same symptoms, but adding on that my right right arm would jerk every now and then during them (the arm would feel kind of tense and I could almost sense when it was about to jerk). I am aware of these jerks. It would either be the jerks, or my right arm/hand (sometimes with my left hand involved depending on the movement) would be doing some sort of repetitive movement like tapping my fingers together, rubbing them on something, or fumbling with my left hand. These movements I am usually not aware of them. If I do suddenly become aware that I am doing these movements (all along while vision is still blurred and weak), it fells as though if I were to try and stop myself, I'd be a lot worse off (its a weird feeling I can't really describe).
^^^^ this new episode would last anywhere from 10 seconds to about 1 minute (or so it feels)
Aside from those episodes, I randomly get these moments where everything seems really weird. It's hard to describe but I'll try my best. It's almost like you don't feel grounded, not necessarily detached from your body, but not grounded. Sometimes it also feels like my perception becomes off. Not majorly, but I'll feel slightly short or taller, or things just appear weird. I don't know, everything just seems and feels....weird. This usually lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes and I can carry out normal functions (talking, walking, etc) during these but know that something is 'off'. People can sometimes tell that I'm having one of these because I guess I get a little quieter, or I have a slightly confused looked on my face. Sometimes this weird feeling can get so intense that I'll literally feel like I'm going to faint or have a slight sick feeling in my stomach.
I also had an episode last year. I was sitting down with some friends. They were playing video games and I was watching (we were in a well lit room, the tv is a commodore so it was super small haha so I don't think this was photosensitive related? Although I do suffer from photosensitive migraines). I got hit by one of those 'weird feeling' episodes described in the paragraph above. This one was particularly intense. I remember my friend then asking me if I wanted to play next round and I just shook my head. After that, I remember taking 2 deep and fast breaths and then my whole body started trembling/shaking. I think my eyes were fluttering because I remember during the episode seeing snippets (almost like if you were to be blinking your eyes really fast). I asked my friend after about the episode and he said all the same things but also noted that my right arm was curled in and clenched. I was not aware of this. I remember immediately after the episode I was tired, and felt like I was going to throw up. I can't remember how long this episode lasted, I think he said about 30-45 seconds?
I've also noted an increase in deja vu within the last year and last 6 months. They don't last long, maybe about 30 seconds and I have no other symptoms with it. In fact, I smile during them and just tell people around me "this is so weird haha, deja vu's hitting me hard right now" and try to poke fun at it.
Lastly, for the past 6 months or so, I've been having difficulties finding words and forming sentences. I've had this issue for a while ever since the episodes started but lately (the past 6 months), it's been getting worse. I have to take tons of pauses during my sentences so I can properly formulate and order the next words. Sometimes it gets as bad as I start to slur some words together, or if I'm saying something like 'chair' in the sentence, it'll change to a completely different word for no reason like 'book'. Even my thoughts are hard to formulate as well. When I'm talking, I also sometimes just randomly stop talking and forget what I was going to say, what I had said, or even everything that was being talked about in general. It's like someone has suddenly pulled the plug in my brain and it shut off. I literally feel like a 6 year old (you know how they take forever to spit out one sentence haha).
I've had 2 EEGs (30 minutes, and one sleep deprived) but they've both come back normal. I am also on no medication for these episodes.
Thanks guys:hugs:
They first started off as being short stare offs. It's almost like your day dreaming but you're not thinking about anything. My vision would go blurry (it feels as though your eyes are trying to go cross eyed, if you were to cross your eyes right now just to the point where everything is blurry (so you're not actually crossed eyed), that's what it's like). This would last about 10 seconds. I would stop what I'm doing, and just feel somewhat weak. I can usually feel when these are going to come on. It usually starts with my eyes, I can feel them trying to become blurry. I've tried fighting it before (by essentially trying to 'uncross' my eyes. I'll be successful for 1 second, then immediately get sucked back into a full blown episode and become to weak to try and fight it).
Then those changed. Same symptoms, but adding on that my right right arm would jerk every now and then during them (the arm would feel kind of tense and I could almost sense when it was about to jerk). I am aware of these jerks. It would either be the jerks, or my right arm/hand (sometimes with my left hand involved depending on the movement) would be doing some sort of repetitive movement like tapping my fingers together, rubbing them on something, or fumbling with my left hand. These movements I am usually not aware of them. If I do suddenly become aware that I am doing these movements (all along while vision is still blurred and weak), it fells as though if I were to try and stop myself, I'd be a lot worse off (its a weird feeling I can't really describe).
^^^^ this new episode would last anywhere from 10 seconds to about 1 minute (or so it feels)
Aside from those episodes, I randomly get these moments where everything seems really weird. It's hard to describe but I'll try my best. It's almost like you don't feel grounded, not necessarily detached from your body, but not grounded. Sometimes it also feels like my perception becomes off. Not majorly, but I'll feel slightly short or taller, or things just appear weird. I don't know, everything just seems and feels....weird. This usually lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes and I can carry out normal functions (talking, walking, etc) during these but know that something is 'off'. People can sometimes tell that I'm having one of these because I guess I get a little quieter, or I have a slightly confused looked on my face. Sometimes this weird feeling can get so intense that I'll literally feel like I'm going to faint or have a slight sick feeling in my stomach.
I also had an episode last year. I was sitting down with some friends. They were playing video games and I was watching (we were in a well lit room, the tv is a commodore so it was super small haha so I don't think this was photosensitive related? Although I do suffer from photosensitive migraines). I got hit by one of those 'weird feeling' episodes described in the paragraph above. This one was particularly intense. I remember my friend then asking me if I wanted to play next round and I just shook my head. After that, I remember taking 2 deep and fast breaths and then my whole body started trembling/shaking. I think my eyes were fluttering because I remember during the episode seeing snippets (almost like if you were to be blinking your eyes really fast). I asked my friend after about the episode and he said all the same things but also noted that my right arm was curled in and clenched. I was not aware of this. I remember immediately after the episode I was tired, and felt like I was going to throw up. I can't remember how long this episode lasted, I think he said about 30-45 seconds?
I've also noted an increase in deja vu within the last year and last 6 months. They don't last long, maybe about 30 seconds and I have no other symptoms with it. In fact, I smile during them and just tell people around me "this is so weird haha, deja vu's hitting me hard right now" and try to poke fun at it.
Lastly, for the past 6 months or so, I've been having difficulties finding words and forming sentences. I've had this issue for a while ever since the episodes started but lately (the past 6 months), it's been getting worse. I have to take tons of pauses during my sentences so I can properly formulate and order the next words. Sometimes it gets as bad as I start to slur some words together, or if I'm saying something like 'chair' in the sentence, it'll change to a completely different word for no reason like 'book'. Even my thoughts are hard to formulate as well. When I'm talking, I also sometimes just randomly stop talking and forget what I was going to say, what I had said, or even everything that was being talked about in general. It's like someone has suddenly pulled the plug in my brain and it shut off. I literally feel like a 6 year old (you know how they take forever to spit out one sentence haha).
I've had 2 EEGs (30 minutes, and one sleep deprived) but they've both come back normal. I am also on no medication for these episodes.
Thanks guys:hugs: