When dating did you/do you tell that person you have epilepsy before hand?

[Paul66]

I never had much luck dating because of my epilepsy.

 

[Rae1889]

I never had much luck dating because of my epilepsy.

Aw!

I have never been one for blind dating, or dating on a whim. I have always started out as friends with the person befor thinking about dating. So If I would have had E in my dating years the person would have known before hand.

Also I think its sorta a responsible act to tell before hand no matter the circumstances. Because something could happen and the person could freak out and not know what to do. And think its rude to hide something like that.

Just my opinion

 

[Loopy Lou]

I've sort of started to see a fella now, but i told him about my epilepsy straight off.

Doesn't seem to bother him, but then things are still very new.

 

[Nakamova]

In my case, since my E is pretty-well-controlled, I wait until I get sense of how thing are going. I'm not hiding anything, it's just not first-date material...

 

[Paul66]

IMO from a mans perspective, establishing a relationship before dating will make for a lot of lonely years. Sorry, women are very reluctant to dating someone who may fall out and convulse when in public. Growing up was tough and girl friends were short lived.
The best advice to give a young man with epilepsy. Go to church and hang with very religious teens and young adults. It takes a woman with a lot of faith to live her life with you.

 

[Endless]

Are you kidding? I wouldn't tell a man in advance. If I did I'd never have a single date.

I'd go on the date and pray I don't have a seizure and start throwing silverware at him. It takes love for a man to put up with the inconvenience, let alone the embarassment, of a woman with seizures. It also takes an extraordinarily good man. I don't know if he's that good of a man until about the 3rd date. After the 3rd date, I'll tell him.

 

[C0urt]

I don't have that option, i seize way too often.

 

[Meetz1064]

I told them the first time, because I was upfront about it.

And now the one I married, well.....hasta la vista, baby.

 

[drarvindr]

i told after.... make sure you're sure about the relationship and tell him/her in the first 6 months . the pheromones should put off any bad reaction. bring it up during a conversation , for eg when people talk about driving and stuff. No need to tell them the full thing in one go. let it out nice and easy. that's my take at least and it's worked both in my romantic and platonic relationships

 

[PhylisFeinerJohnson]

In my infinite 14-year-old wisdom, I decided not to tell a propective date I had seizures, because I figured they'd run for the hills.

For example, I was lusting to go out with Ricky Schwabacker for 2 years. I mean, he was a big-time senior and I was just a lowly sophomore. So finally he asked me out and we went to some kid’s house whose parents weren’t home. Oy. Everybody sat in a circle and smoked dope. (I didn’t, because drugs were far from “recreational” to me.) Then a very stoned Ricky and his friend sat down to play chess. Suddenly “BOOM!” My head went crashing through the wooden chessboard and I was out cold. They thought I was dead. And they couldn’t figure out whether to call the police or not.

If they called the police, they’d be busted for dope. So, they decided to just sit it out until they figured out a plan.

When I suddenly regained consciousness, everybody was relieved and Ricky took me home. Needless to say, that was my last date with Ricky.

Then there was Tommy who took me dancing. Unfortunately it was the disco era. And we walked into a room with a mirrored ball spinning, strobe lights flashing and rock music booming. I tried to not look and went onto the dance floor, gyrating with everyone else. The difference was, I was having a seizure! And when the music stopped and everyone drifted back to their tables, I melted down to the floor. The crowd was no longer propping me up.

So whether I told them or not, they did all go running for the hills.

Until many years later, when a met a guy and had a flaming seizure on our first date. He was completely calm, asked me what he could do for me and was very supportive. (It turned out his best friend had epilepsy, so it was no big deal to him.)

We just celebrated our 30th anniversay.

 

[Endless]

Well, I'm facing this RIGHT NOW. I've decided not to tell him until we've been dating at least a couple of months. By then I'll know whether I want to keep him or not, and visa versa.

 

[mckenzie_boo]

i always tell people upfront cos the way i look @ it is if they turn out 2 b total ignorant cowards & r gonna leave cos they can't handle it, then @ least i no b4 i form any kinda attachment or feelins 4 that person!
yeah granted it hasn't always paid off 4 me 2 b that way, but then finally it did, wen i 1st met my husband, i told him whilst we were still only formin a friendship, i chose 2 test the waters if u like, b4 we moved on2 formin a relationship, cos altho i was startin 2 develope feelins 4 him & risked gettin hurt, the way i looked @ it is that i'd rather b hurt by him walkin out thru my honesty, than 2 leave it & deal wiv alot mor hurt further down the line.
that was 9 years ago & we r still goin strong & barin in mind, my seizures ave got so much worse ova the years & yet he is still ere, holdin my hand & strokin my head thru every single 1 that i ave, whether it b 1 of my small complex partial seizures or whether it b 1 of my grand mals.
and cos of my honesty, he has always accepted that my epilepsy is as much a part of me as my eye colour,hair colour etc & loves me just the way i am x

 

[C0urt]

usually most people know, it is one of those things that every who know me just kinda knows. The most recent girl knew that was why I came back into town. Did recently go out with a girl from high school. and I haven't explained my memory or the rug burn on my fore head even though I did show up still post-tictal

 

[stilldancing_98]

I have severe epilepsy I don't drive and I have a son with epilepsy. Of course I'm gonna tell them. "Are you strong enough to be my man?"

 

[matchu]

I am always upfront and honest, about all things in my life. So, that scares most off in itself.

 

[dfwtexas]

Since I developed at 47 and already had 2 marriages, 2 divorces, 2 ex-husband die...I decided long before the E that I am not cut out for relationships. This is one issue I don't have to deal with!

 

[forward2007]

I never tried to hide it. At least two girlfriends saw me have a seizure in my sleep. Neither one freaked out or left me because of it. They were both very supportive.

 

[crazychick10793]

i am very open about my epilepsy with everyone who will listen. people ask me all sorts of questions and i am happy to answer. things get around fast here, not only all around our small school, but a huge neighboring school district as well! everyone knew by the next day that i had a seizure on the bus. yes, i will tell my dates, so i don't scare them off if something were to go wrong

 

[draggrif]

I had never managed to go on a single date until I met my wife at 19. I unfortunatly live in a fairly small town, and among the year round residents I had developed a reputation for being insane and unpredictable (before meds I was in a near constant state of minor seizure, and woo, the hallucenations.) My wife I met out of town, so she had never heard that I was screwed up. I told her. She was initially okay with it, too, until I started having them around her and she wasn't able to recognize them as a medical problem. Fortunatly my mother (who is about the only person in the world who knows what to do when I'm having a seizure) explained what to look for and what might happen, and what to do about it. This was possibly the best thing that could have happened. Being the one having the seizure, I'm not entirely aware of how it looks from the outside, or what other people do to help me. My mother was able to explain that it was not a big deal and there was no reason to get upset, just try to keep me in the house, and if I'm around others, calmly explain whats going on. It helped her understand what was happening, and made her feel less helpless when I have them. I would seriously reccomend that you explain that you have a medical problem calmly and casually, as though it's no big deal (I'd hesitate to use the word epilepsy at first, a lot of people find it scary) If you can't tell them what to do, and if it's not too awkward, introduce them to a friend or family member who can explain it. As long as you don't act like this is something to fear and give them a course of action, most people seem to react fairly well.

 

[Inaara]

I think, for me, it's kind of disrespectful and rude not to be up front about it. I'm pretty up front about most things, and this is no differnt.

Besides, it kind of does help explain why, at the age of 36, not only do I not drive (or even own a car), but I wear a shiny bracelet with a big red medical thingy on it and spend at least one day a week at the VA