Wife is frustrated, how to help?

[AndrewIrish]

Hey,

I have TCs, Partials, Auras... My wife and I both have FMLA... on days I have problems, my wife doesn't want to leave me by myself but is upset at using all vacation time to stay with me and how using FMLA looks. Her proposal is yo leave me at my mother's house while she goes to work but my mother is sickly and the environment isn't comfortable for me... what do others do in these situations, especially their familt?

 

[masterjen]

Are you doing everything possible to reduce/control your seizures? (I can only assume you are, but there are some people here who are reluctant to use medication at all or to modify/add to their current regimen).

Are there other family members, older neighbors/friends who don't work who can keep an eye on you?

Have you and your wife looked into those medic alert (not the ID) devices in which you can press a button if you have a seizure? There are some now that automatically alert someone if you have fallen (eg. from a TC). You can set these devices to alert anyone, not just 911.

 

[acshuman]

You Can't Be To Live In an Uncomfortable Environment!

Andrew,
Being put into an environment that you are uncomfortable in would be a BAD idea! Your being uncomfortable could easily cause stress for you and stress is the last thing a person w/E wants to encounter! This stress could cause you to have more seizures, which is exactly what you DON'T want to happen.
You need to do some research on the computer to see what may exist that could help you. You could do this by doing google searches asking about warning aids for people with Epilepsy. I tried something. I googled 'medical notification seizure' and got a result of several different kinds of aids that are made to help a person w/E live their life without living with a great dependency on others in their life. TRY THIS and you and your wife may be able to find something that you can use! :clap:

ACsHuman

 

[Porkette]

Hi Andrew,
AC gave you some good points. Just like you I've had tonic clonic, simple partial, absence and complex partial seizures and my family didn't want me to stay alone. What I decided to do is just stay home by myself because I told my family my seizures didn't happen everyday. After awhile everyone was okay and if I did have any type of seizure my family stopped there worrying because they knew I was home instead of with someone else who may not understand my seizures. I wish you only the best of luck and May God Bless You and Your Family!

Sue

 

[knothing]

My wife would stay on every day but we finally got to a point where only the grand mals she would take off.
Now on the bad days that are not major I have to text all day long and keep her informed of what and how I am doing and we have it down to a system of short communication now. It just takes time working through it to get 'comfortable' in dealing with the realities of life. She still suffers from not being able to say the word seizure, instead she says problem, unless talking to a doctor about a seizure.
By time, for me, I mean years not months or weeks to get to a comfort zone. It takes time for others to get that 'it will be okay to leave them alone' feeling and be good with it.

Also if she still struggles get her involved with a community of people where she can find others in her position so she has somewhere to talk and listen. Maybe here or maybe not but it does help.

 

[acshuman]

Many People Have a Problem Accepting Someone 'Different' From Them!

Andrew,
I have lived with E for 50 years. I have seen many people who seem to be unable to accept anyone who may be 'different' from them in any way!
I am not saying this about your wife, but not accepting someone who is 'different' in any way can occur in many different ways.
Someone close to you may not be able to say EPILEPSY, but uses another word instead. Some people may feel that anyone who is 'different' will need to be watched over for their entire life. This is why the person w/E has to be willing to use time and help these people realize that a person who has E can take care of themselves and NOT need to be under surveillance 24/7! :shake:

ACsHuman

 

[Zolt]

Hey Andrew,

Well first of all, how badly do the seizures effect you? Are you totally helpless after one? Can you do the normal things after one or do you need help. If the answer is your fine, then simple have a one on one talk with her and let her know that there is no need for her to stay and use her pto.

Cheers
Zolt