RonGuidry49
New
- Messages
- 44
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
I was reading the "Munchausen Faking Illness By Internet" thread. I had a nagging doubt about my own "general hypochondria" till 2004. Everyone around me thought I was faking something, and as bad as I felt for no reason sometimes, I wondered too. Part of what's going on with me right now, is that I'm putting a lot of pieces together. My story is almost unbelievable, but true, and my obsessive nature won't allow me to sleep after reading half of that locked post - which I can see, might as well stay that way. It would be torture for me not to write this, because I can't sleep now. People have been telling me I've been faking most of my life. Now I see it pop up as a thread, and I get flushed. I'm obsessed.
This is one part of an odd tale: I'm pretty sure I was 9, in 3rd grade. It was after-school sports, and we were playing kick-ball. the gym teacher had set up 2nd base by the wall. She told us not to slide, I did anyway - I was nine! (She has since become principal, married and retired to somewhere in Hawaii in 2005 - a year after I found out I had e. - Thank you computer tech.) The only picture I found of her was at the beach with sunglasses on, and a new last name. But I knew that face, almost 30 years later, and her first name is "Doreen", so there can't be many of them. Good enough. She's always a phone call away, if I ever need to give her a piece of my mind. What good will yelling at a woman do for me? And it's not like I can sue anybody. Believe it, or not! This post is part of how I let go.
So, anyway, I slid into 2nd bass and smashed my right temple into the wall, and it made a huge "Boom!" The next thing I remember, is wandering around the sidewalks at night in the rain hailing a cab. They hadn't told my mom how bad I was hurt, or she would have picked me up. She stayed up with me all night, and wouldn't let me sleep because she knew I had hit my head. The following summer is when the partial seizures started. I don't know why my parents never looked into it, but I had lost a lot of weight at summer camp, and they thought it was a food issue. I had a number daytime partials over the following 27 years, and hundreds at night (that's another post).
I never had a lot of headaches back then, but sudden attacks of nausea, and fainting spells. Also, among other things, I look back at all the times where I just flipped out on people, or have been intensely depressed for long periods, then sudden mania. That these incidents may be epilepsy related/enhanced doesn't change the fact that I have burnt so many bridges, but I also look back and realize that I did pretty good overall considering things. I'm trying to make amends where I can, but it's hard to say, "I acted like that, because of a neurological condition." Another difficult aspect, is that I rightly trust casual friends, or even some people I'm not that wild about who have actually seen me in the throws, more than some of my oldest and closest friends or family, whom have not. -Thanks, Craig
This is one part of an odd tale: I'm pretty sure I was 9, in 3rd grade. It was after-school sports, and we were playing kick-ball. the gym teacher had set up 2nd base by the wall. She told us not to slide, I did anyway - I was nine! (She has since become principal, married and retired to somewhere in Hawaii in 2005 - a year after I found out I had e. - Thank you computer tech.) The only picture I found of her was at the beach with sunglasses on, and a new last name. But I knew that face, almost 30 years later, and her first name is "Doreen", so there can't be many of them. Good enough. She's always a phone call away, if I ever need to give her a piece of my mind. What good will yelling at a woman do for me? And it's not like I can sue anybody. Believe it, or not! This post is part of how I let go.
So, anyway, I slid into 2nd bass and smashed my right temple into the wall, and it made a huge "Boom!" The next thing I remember, is wandering around the sidewalks at night in the rain hailing a cab. They hadn't told my mom how bad I was hurt, or she would have picked me up. She stayed up with me all night, and wouldn't let me sleep because she knew I had hit my head. The following summer is when the partial seizures started. I don't know why my parents never looked into it, but I had lost a lot of weight at summer camp, and they thought it was a food issue. I had a number daytime partials over the following 27 years, and hundreds at night (that's another post).
I never had a lot of headaches back then, but sudden attacks of nausea, and fainting spells. Also, among other things, I look back at all the times where I just flipped out on people, or have been intensely depressed for long periods, then sudden mania. That these incidents may be epilepsy related/enhanced doesn't change the fact that I have burnt so many bridges, but I also look back and realize that I did pretty good overall considering things. I'm trying to make amends where I can, but it's hard to say, "I acted like that, because of a neurological condition." Another difficult aspect, is that I rightly trust casual friends, or even some people I'm not that wild about who have actually seen me in the throws, more than some of my oldest and closest friends or family, whom have not. -Thanks, Craig
Last edited by a moderator: