Burnt Bridges, etc.

[Meetz1064]

Hi there,

Ron. It seems you've managed fairly decently over the years, considering you may have had a TBI.

I'm sorry, too, for the issues you're going through with the band...that must be difficult after all this time. Do you do anything in particular to de-stress? Whether it's walking the dog, yoga, journaling or listening to meditational type music to relax, any of those things and more can help you de-stress--one of the common triggers for E IS stress.

I do sooooo understand the feeling about the trust issues. I'm going through some of them myself--and removing the problems, slowly, one by one.

Enjoy yourself here at CWE........I think you'll find the dinner party, and the support we give, very much to your liking.

Take care,

Meetz
:rock:

 

[occb]

Good to hear that from somebody else......I can't even tell you. I figure your partner is probably a sideman like me. We tend not to get away with that kind of behavior, unlike bandleaders!

He's usually lead guitar, but it's always somebody else's band, even if they say they're all part of the decision-making process. That's what happened to the last band (and the one before, and the one before *sigh*) -- it was supposed to be all equal, but the drummer (who had rights to the band name) and the singer (young punky frontman) started to talk on the phone and gossip with each in ways normally only ascribed to pubescent girls. This is in part due to partner's occasional, but obvious space-outs and moments of confusion during jam -- but instead of asking him what was up, the just re-routed around him (the jams were always in the afternoon, during his peak bad time. Evenings are usually the best part of the day for him, when space-outs and other activity is rare).

This kind of emotional cowardice is so common, not just with musicians, really, but with many, many people here. There's a reason why nobody else would do for me but partner -- he's not scared to say what he thinks, or ask the tough questions. I love it, others find it terrifying :lol:

 

[RonGuidry49]

He's usually lead guitar, but it's always somebody else's band, even if they say they're all part of the decision-making process. That's what happened to the last band (and the one before, and the one before *sigh*) -- it was supposed to be all equal, but the drummer (who had rights to the band name) and the singer (young punky frontman) started to talk on the phone and gossip with each in ways normally only ascribed to pubescent girls. This is in part due to partner's occasional, but obvious space-outs and moments of confusion during jam -- but instead of asking him what was up, the just re-routed around him (the jams were always in the afternoon, during his peak bad time. Evenings are usually the best part of the day for him, when space-outs and other activity is rare).

This kind of emotional cowardice is so common, not just with musicians, really, but with many, many people here. There's a reason why nobody else would do for me but partner -- he's not scared to say what he thinks, or ask the tough questions. I love it, others find it terrifying :lol:

Wow, I gotta respond nowwwww. My band recorded a record last fall, and we cut 15 tracks in one day. That's fine with me, but I made it clear that I am not fully ready to rock at 12 noon - ever. So we have a late night setting up the gear, I stay in Jersey for the night at my bandleader's house, and get 3 hours sleep. The first part of the session was tough on me, and the first reel has almost all of my mistakes. He would not allow me to punch in, and fix them (ask your partner what that means). For me to fix maybe 4 mistakes would have taken 10 or 15 minutes tops, but he refused, all while indulging himself in effects, trying different amps, etc. Three of the first four songs are from the first reel, and are also the first for songs of the record, so my screw-ups come all together, and early on. I'm damn good on the rest, but it's not enough, and I don't want anyone I know to hear my first reliese in seven years! I couldn't make him understand how much it meant to me. Time to call a spade a spade eh? I'm about ready to pipe up now......not out of nowhere.....It'll come either when he fires me, or just the next time it's relevant. Repression makes me ill, and there is no middle ground. Not freaking out seams to have only prolonged the inevitable, but at least my reputation with other musicians is still good. Sorry, years of repression seems to have led to long posts.