help! i just chickened out asking for antidepressants

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Hello all of you awesome people! I need your advice pleeeease!
A couple of years ago (about three months after I got epilepsy and was started on keppra, Ive got temporal lobe epilepsy, left side) I was put on an antidepressant but it didnt do anything but make me tired and next to a little baby wasn't helpful at all, so I stopped taking it. Than few years later I was telling my neuro about my emotional ups-and-downs and (suprisingly to me) was so cool about it and was like "yea well that's completely normal with epilepsy" and wrote me up a script for another type of antidepressant- which i never took because i didnt want to be tired and by then i had baby #2.
But now I have had enough I cant take this madness anymore, I am feeling guilty as hell one day for EVERYTHING, next day I am super confident the world is mine, next I am super regretful, next I am suicidal, than happy, than angry etc etc so its madness and i said this to my hubby and he said that he has definitely notices this emotional roller coaster- so its not fair on him and the boys.
So background out of the way- this is where i need your help- i went to the doctor's today to get a script for antidepressants and I CHICKENED OUT i was too embarrassed i couldnt do it- lol hehehehe ummmm does anyone know what else might help?
Or do I have to go back?
Or does anyone know of some sort of magical thing that will help me in ny bipolarish epilepsy madness? eeek
Thanks ahead of time!

You are having a hard time of it lately but do not worry, just because you get down in the dumps all this just means you are normal. That is true "yea well that's completely normal with epilepsy" but so does most of the medication you take so depression tends to go hand in hand with epilepsy. To be very honest you really need to talk to a GP (doctor) who more than likely will give you a script for antidepressants. There is no shame or need to be embarrassed about asking for help for something which is impacting your life
1. Don't be embarrassed! You're in good company (Did you know Australia is second in the world in anti-depressant prescriptions?). There's no shame in being depressed just as there's no shame in having epilepsy.

2. Doctors have seen absolutely everything and are pretty jaded. You especially shouldn't be embarrassed in front of them.

3. Keppra can cause mood problems and make existing ones much worse -- maybe your neuro might tweak the dose or look at having you try a different med. Some of the other seizure meds (such as Lamictal) are also prescribed for bipolar and might potentially be a good fit. Some anti-depressants can lower seizure threshold, so make sure your neuro does the prescribing or is the loop with whoever is doing the prescribing.

4. Don't be embarrassed! You're in good company (Did you know Australia is second in the world in anti-depressant prescriptions?). There's no shame in being depressed just as there's no shame in having epilepsy. Yes, this is the same as #1. It's worth repeating. :)
Hello seetseet,

Reading your story was like reliving my own. I didn't want to talk to my doctor because 1. I felt like I could "manage" the depression and 2. I was afraid that admitting I was depressed would cause my name to be written down in some almighty medical file that would haunt me for life.

I used to be able to attribute my depression to something that was going on in my life until one beautiful day where life was great, my husband and children were wonderful, everything was going my way, yet I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. The depression had gotten away from me. I literally felt like the depression was an entity separate from me, and I had no control over it.

I had an appointment with my neuro coming up and decided to mention it to him. Although I was 100% afraid, I felt like I needed to try an antidepressant just to see if it could help. My knees were shaking as I took my first dose of Lexapro, but I knew it had to be done. The first week, I had a mild headache. After that, it felt like something lifted, like some light flipped on, and I haven't had a suicidal thought since. I've been on the medication for a little over a year now.

I know medicines work differently for different people, but I can say this one has helped me greatly.

I wish you the best in the decision you make!
Hi seetseet,

Take my word moodiness comes with epilepsy. I have had temporal lobe epilepsy for 45 yrs. and some days I'm happy and other days I'm sad. What I have found to be a big help for me is staying away from the antidepressants because they will only mess up the seizure meds for me and cause me to have more seizures. What's really helped is using the medical marijuana (cbd).
I used to take keppra and the drug caused me to have a very hot temper and it increased my seizures so my Epileptologist put me on vimpat and that made things a lot better.
Often seizure meds will have a side effect of a person feeling suicidal and tired but after awhile you will get used to the tired feeling and it goes away.
What's really helped me besides the cbd is using coconut oil on my skin 1-2 times a day this helps build up ketones in my system which in turn reduces my seizures and I also take vitamin B12 1000 mcg. once a day.
A lot of the problem could be coming from hormones changing each month. If you haven't started doing it get a calendar and write down what type of seizure you have had and what time it happened also write down when you start and stop your monthly cycle this will help your neuro see if it's hormone related along with what days of the month or what time of day/night you are more likely to have any seizures. My Dr. found out I was having seasonal seizures meaning I have more in the fall and winter compared to the spring and summer and it's do to the lack of serotonin at this time of the yr. I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

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