Not allowed to drink-suggestions?

[miranda]

I love to drink (I love a good microbrew), but am not supposed to because I am on Lamictal. My old neuro said it was fine as long as I was smart about it, but recently I've been having a lot of problems with frequent nausea, horrible hangovers, and low tolerance, and my new neuro said I wasn't supposed to drink at all.
This happened a few days ago, so this was my first weekend trying the no alcohol thing, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. I'm a pretty introverted person and can get kind of socially anxious in situations where there are lots of people I don't know. I went to a big party for this statewide student group I'm part of, and with everyone else drinking and me not having even one drink to act as a social lubricant, I felt super uncomfortable and left after an hour. And people kept asking me why I wasn't drinking, so I lied about it and said I had to get up early the next day for work.
I know there are lots of people on here who can't or choose not to drink, how do you deal with it?

 

[epileric]

Usually if I'm with people that would judge me for not drinking then they're probably not the type of people I really care to have as friends.

That said I used to have a coke & people would assume there was rum in it. Another drink that I more recently discovered is cranberry and soda *Yum*. To this day I am grateful to the waitress who introduced me to that drink. It is obvious that it is non-alcoholic though.

 

[Cint]

As Eric said, if people judge you for not drinking then they're not the type to call friends. Plus, if you're drinking just because you feel anxious if you don't, then perhaps you need some counseling to find out why it effects you this way. Those anxious feelings could bring on seizure, so remember to calm yourself. Take some deep breaths. Do some meditation before going out. And order something that may 'look' like a rum and coke.
There are plenty of other college kids who choose not to drink. Just keep looking.

 

[arnie]

I agree with Cint that it's important not to "have" to drink to feel comfortable, and that it will be good for you to figure out where that need is coming from and how to get out from under it. Seeing a counselor is a great idea. You're dealing with a lot of stuff right now and this is a good time to address it all. Also, the more comfortable you become with your epilepsy, the more natural it will be to just tell people "I'm on a medication that doesn't mix well with alcohol." If they want more information, start telling them about epilepsy. Your attitude will go a long way toward determining their attitudes, and you will be a more integrated and self-confident person.
As for drinking while on AEDs, different people respond differently. I can drink in moderation (red wine is what I like) and it has no effect at all on my epilepsy and no appreciable interaction with my meds. I'm on Lamictal, too.

Go for it!

 

[masterjen]

When I was in university I was also introverted and uneasy in group gatherings. I wasn't yet having seizures then but I chose not to drink anyway; drinking just wasn't something I wanted to do. Those at the gathering who I didn't know well may have thought of me as a snob or something, but not my friends. Whether my friends were drinkers or not, they respected me, and seemed to respect that I knew who I was and didn't give in and compromise my ideals in order to fit in. Have confidence in yourself and your decisions, and real friends will stand by you

 

[Nakamova]

You could say that you're allergic to alcohol (which is sort of true). And I recommend non-alcoholic beer (though you may have to bring it yourself). Some of the brands taste pretty good.

 

[Dolores]

For me it wasn't so much the alcohol as it was having a glass "of something" to hold, almost like a prop, and take a sip every once in a while if I needed time to think. So I switched to drinking Perrier & Lime. Put it in the right glass and no one questions.

So if it's not so much the drinking but rather just "not feeling on the outside" you might want to find a substitute that suits you best.

 

[QueenieKP]

I am a diet coke girl and people who know me know I can't drink or know I can have one drink but will be dancing on a table and twirling my drawers (aka knickers and / or panties) round in the air and then being sick on their shoes, so we all prefer that I don't drink.

If you have a small soft drink people who don't know you will assume its a vodka and coke or vodka and orange. I don't know about alcohol free beers or ciders and I was a shots girl. I think Dolores is right, if you can find a 'prop' of choice and then get down to some serious people watching and see if you can catch some daft bint on a table waving her drawers about.

Q

 

[kirsten]

People hardly ever ask me why I'm not drinking. I don't think they even notice. I did have one annoying person who noticed I was drinking water and grapetizer one evening. He seemed to think I was being a pretentious health nut. He started having a go at me saying things like, "You think you're so much better than the rest of us but do you know how much sugar is in that drink?" He just kept going on and on about it. I figure if it's such a big deal to him what I drink and what I don't drink, he probably has a drinking problem, else why would it be so important? Another friend, after we'd socialised at least every week for a year without me drinking, and I were walking out of a pub at about 2 am. He saw someone he knew coming out at the same time and told me that the guy was an alcoholic and had claimed he'd stopped drinking. He said he didn't believe it, that, "who comes out of a pub at 2am who hasn't been drinking?" He hadn't even noticed that I was coming out of a pub at 2am and hadn't been drinking. The moral of the story, in my view, is that only people who are obsessed with their own alcohol consumption become obsessed with other people's alcohol consumption (or lack thereof.) Those who don't care very much about what they drink don't care about what other people drink.

 

[marika853]

Agree with EVERYONE! If they are your Real Friends, they will not judge. Who cares about others? Drinking is such a socially acceptable thing that for some it's second nature to do it. Then there are those that have an Issue with it.
WE ALL NEED TO JUST MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS!
Have a good day everybody!
M

 

[N Sperlo]

There is no reason you need to explain to others why you aren't drinking. If you feel like you should be drinking, there is another problem at play. If you wish you could drink, I can completely understand that. If you know the effects, and you know you can't drink, it should be as easy as not drinking.
Can you keep it to one glass/bottle?
Just make the right choice and know that no one else has anything to do with that choice.

 

[mspang]

All my friends know my problem, so i'm considered to be the designated driver.

 

[Ivanatron]

I used to drink a lot with my friends and I paid the price for it time and time again...

I decided 3 years ago that it is just not worth it and I no longer drink. My friends are good with it and never make me feel bad about not being able to drink. My boyfriend supports my lifestyle and also barely ever drinks. When I do go out, I usually just order a juice and fizzy water of some sort in a short glass so that it looks like some kind of a boozy drink so that I don't have to explain to randoms why I don't drink. Being in Vegas was very interesting being that I don't drink - I was probably the only person who remembers their Vegas vacation hehehe!! A couple weeks ago someone bought a round of drinks and shoved one in my face, so I went to the bar, ordered a water and ice (which looked just like the drink) and drank that instead. It was fun. It's all about the attitude. I can have lots of fun without drinking.

I get it that in college partying is the way to go, but when your health is involved it is best to opt for the safe choice. I agree with the members on here who talked about perhaps reconsidering who you have in your friends circle or perhaps talking to someone about your anxiety. I am not a fan of huge parties where I don't know too many people so I tend to spend time with my close friends or family doing low-key stuff. The advantage to that is that you don't feel like garbage the next day and you save a whole bunch of cash!

I hope I didn't ramble too much! The biggest lesson is, surround yourself with friends who accept you and your choices and you will feel much happier and more comfortable!

 

[Ivanatron]

All my friends know my problem, so i'm considered to be the designated driver.

I am almost always the designated driver and I don't mind it. I couldn't drive until I turned 25 so I gotta pay back my friends who had been driving my butt around for years hehe!

 

[miranda]

Thank you so much for all these answers, wow! It makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone in this. I like the idea of a "prop" so I'm definitely gonna start doing that, and not spending as much money will definitely be an upside, maybe I'll put that into extra dessert or something to treat myself:]. I think I'll try to see how just one drink effects me after I've taken some time off drinking, try to figure out how my body is doing.
My friends have been really supportive, it's mostly acquaintances who ask, because they know I usually drink and are just wondering if I'm feeling okay, I know they aren't judging me, I just don't necessarily like talking about my epilepsy. Being designated driver is a good reason to give as to why I'm not drinking, but most places I go we take the bus or walk.

 

[Ivanatron]

It's funny that I never faced any kind of peer pressure to drink while I was growing up, but now I find that a lot of people push you to drink and even get offended if you don't drink. I've had to put quite a few people in their place on more than a few occasions who just would not back down. Some people are just jerks and need to be told hehe.

 

[jh2]

i use to use some of these tricks when i was at parties and had to deal with the drinking question, as long as no one taste your drink most people couldnt tell the difference.

vodka:water

vodka and orange: orange juice

rum and coke:coke

vodka cruiser:flavoured cordial

wild turkey:coffee

gin and tonic:lemonade

tequila sunriserange cordial

white wine:apple juice

red wine:grape juice

 

[Ivanatron]

that's awesome! I found a sparkling apple juice in a bottle that looks like a champagne bottle so I keep joking to my bf that when we get married, that is what I will drink at the wedding and no one will be the wiser hehe

I think that we as a group have become quite creative when it comes to all of this stuff

 

[QueenieKP]

A lot of places I go also serve coffees and if they don't I nag them until they do and decaff!

Q

 

[valeriedl]

When I go out with friends they will order their drinks then ask me what type of soda I want. If I try to order a drink (which I'm ok having) they won't let me.

This is what real friends do!

I am almost always the designated driver and I don't mind it. I couldn't drive until I turned 25 so I gotta pay back my friends who had been driving my butt around for years hehe!

I can't drive due to my epilepsy but since the bartender sees that I'm drinking soda they usually assume that I am. Because of this I'll sometimes get free soda or refills all night, saves a lot of money!

We do always have a designated driver though who might have only one drink all night long.