How do I select none. I'm doing well. I'm just tired. I really can't complain. I've gone without driving and I've been depressed with the reality, but really, I'm in good shape. I'm able to make a living and live a normal life. I'm very happy with that. I wish everyone here could do the same. Not only can I drive, but I race. I have become a member of different racing communities and I get to talk about that on my radio show. I'll never give up on the things I want in life.
It all depends upon my circumstances. In here, I am part of a community of people with a common purpose...to vent, understand and publish our frustrations, medications and side effects to others if they wish to know.
Outside of here, my true friends accept it. I just take this all one day at a time.
Walking down the hall at the hospital complaining about my day, and rubbing my hands because I was cold and in pain. I open the door to a restroom I needed, only to see an old wrinkled man shaking pair a of tired knees sitting on the toilet, that I could have lived with out seeing honestly. I found myself a different restroom to be cold in, and complain .
Naked old man, I was quickly reminded, it could be so much worse and to quit complaining.
So headache and all,dripping blood, I am in a good mood. Early all week, I will be up early to give blood, but this is my last week.
When I couldn't drive, I would say that was the worst... Now it's the fear of having another tonic-clonic when I start experiencing really strong partials that keep going... I REALLY don't want to lose my driving privileges again, and when I start getting those strong auras, I have to do everything I can to "stop" it.... I don't know if what I do helps, but nonetheless, it freaks me out... Speaking of which... I'm thinking I may need to take one of my Klonipins now... all of the stress from the past week is wearing on me, and today has been a day full of deja vus and butterfly in my stomach feelings :/
Thank you for making this thread. Lately I've been feeling extremely lonely. I've tried to thank God (I'm a Christian) for my blessings, tried to look on the bright-side, and yet I still have no friends and feel like a downright joke. And typing this embarrasses me, I feel ridiculous, humiliated, almost as though I'm not human, or having to learn to be human, a 'normal' human, but I feel like I have to put this, because I don't want to kill myself, and do what my brother did in 2012. I've been to all kinds of churches and I just don't fit in. Well, I certainly feel like I don't. Because meds don't help my Epilepsy I'm not allowed to drive, and that would be ok if I didn't live in an isolated area with my parents. I love them, but I would like to be less dependent on them. I would move out if I had a higher-payed job, if I wasn't discriminated for a condition that I didn't ask to be born with, or had a boyfriend/married someone who loves me, and who I love in return. Furthermore I get very down when I see my younger siblings with their husbands. My youngest sister is on her honeymoon. They both have successful careers, men who love them (which I'm happy for them) have many friends, and look like supermodels. That is wonderful for them, and I'm glad that they don't have my life, but as they're big sister, I feel anyway, that I have been a very bad role-model, that I'm not a woman they can look up to, and I feel like a third-wheel. The pain and disconnectedness that I feel is nearly indescribable. Of course naturally as a sinner I have been jealous, but I don't feel jealous of them, I feel left out, lonely. Society has conditioned us to believe that the oldest child has to be married first, and I know that there's more to life, that I have to put Jesus first, but this feeling remains. This torment engulfs my spirit, and I'm so confused. Also I know that this is a self-centred post. There are people in worse situations. But I feel so trapped, so tormented.
Jessica, for past number, in fact last few years I have been extremely depressed, especially as I am not allowed to drive. The past few months I have been practicing my yoga and 'Sip and Om' which appears on my computer which gives some advice on how to meditate tells us the 'answer lies within' and this is what I believe. When I now get stressed I try and relax ad look for the answer with myself. And miracoulsy it appears to work and I find the answer comes for me. The depression has disappeared, I am amazed, my family are amazed, I am the old person who used be, the happy free person who used be, so I advise you please, look for that yoga, and learn to relax and you will lear the answer and we both learn to drive again. We will once more be the free persons we once were.