elizzza811
Stalwart
- Messages
- 604
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
- 88
I still don't think things are quite as simple as you describe, at least with certain types of OCD, or perhaps it's because my brain has been in this OCD loop for 26 years (and counting). And actually thinking back, I probably had OCD even longer than that, by junior high school, just not 'classic' germ-phobia OCD. I wasn't responsible for the laundry, the cleaning of the bathroom or kitchen, etc...back then. Plus, it wasn't exactly my owned 'territory' to have to keep it clean.
My responsibilities back then were getting ready for school, doing my homework, and looking pretty for boys. And my OCD way of living up to these responsibilities and coping with them included copying my homework over and over again (every time I had to erase something or a letter didn't look 'right' to me in some way, wasting paper), doing my hair 'perfectly' (not a hair out of place), sleeping while sitting up (to avoid smushing my perfect hair) - in fact, I did this one for 3 years. And for those same 3 years I believe I suffered from a pretty serious case of anorexia nervosa, weighing in at only 78lbs in 7th grade, 81lbs in 8th, and 84lbs in 9th (I'm 5'4"). I didn't make myself throw up, didn't take laxatives, diet pills, or anything like that. What I did do was force myself to adhere to a strict diet of a bowl of cereal for breakfast and something not-good-for-you-junky for dinner, so as not to feel as if I was starving to death. On top of this strict diet, I excercized like a nut for 3 years - having to do 100 sit-ups, 100 toe-touches, 100 this and thats for one full hour. Plus I jogged in the summer months. I used to ace physical fitness tests in school, except I couldn't do even one pull-up/chin-up, only because I was so emaciated, my bony arms couldn't lift me! I was eventually taken to the doctor because the school nurse became concerned, and basically he asked me if I made myself throw up (no), if I took laxatives or diet pills (no), and sent me off on my merry anorexic way. My parents never pushed it, probably because 'mental illness' was some kind of embarassment to them. So I probably had OCD since I was 13, and I'm 46 now...that's 33 years. Whether I did OCD things even before this, I'm not sure.
But back to the reasons I don't think this technique will work with me (or quite possibly anyone with serious OCD)...isn't trying to imagine all the things you suggested (that silly clown or that piece of wood floating down the stream) just a reinforcement of the thought control process? For example, one of my physical symptoms is this relentless clenching of my teeth. Now if I think and tell myself to unclench them, I can. But if my mind wanders off onto something else, I'll notice they are clenched again, even though I never 'thought' them to re-clench. It's just not feasable to force yourself to think a thought (even a calming one) for the entire length of a task.
And if this technique really worked, I don't think serious cases of OCD like mine would even exist, simply because it is so simple. And like I mentioned before, I can't avoid certain tasks...I have to do laundry, clean the bathroom occasionally, bathe, etc...and as soon as I begin the task at hand, OCD is standing right there to torture me, even if the task at hand has been left standing for months...I rarely forget the ritual. But even times I had, I just made up a new one to replace the ones forgotten.
I just think there has got to be more to OCD than the abnormal thought process. For one thing, why do OCD sufferers from all over the world all experience similar symptoms according to their 'type' of OCD. Why are we all washing our hands for hours or rechecking the stove or driving around the block in fear that we hit someone? If it were merely a thought process gone awry, OCD sufferers wouldn't all be doing similar rituals. There has got to be an infection or an exposure (to EMFs?) to be triggering this abnormal thought process and crazy response, and if this is the case, expecting me to just imagine my OCD away by thinking calming thoughts is kind of like expecting me to control the tumor cells growing in my breast. As much as I wish I could, it just isn't going to happen...it's not that simple.
Something had to have screwed up my thought-response process, something apart from me. I'm sure other people, for example, drive down the road, hit a bump, and momentarily wonder if they hit a person or an animal. But most people with this thought might look in their rearview once and continue on, rationalizing that if they did indeed hit a person, the cops would eventually knock at their door. A person with OCD can't do this. They've thought the same thought you did (I might have hit someone), but a ritual is somehow born. My daughter also has OCD, so there has to be a gene or a common contangion or an exposure of some type, and if that's the case, I simply can't control the uncontrollable.
My responsibilities back then were getting ready for school, doing my homework, and looking pretty for boys. And my OCD way of living up to these responsibilities and coping with them included copying my homework over and over again (every time I had to erase something or a letter didn't look 'right' to me in some way, wasting paper), doing my hair 'perfectly' (not a hair out of place), sleeping while sitting up (to avoid smushing my perfect hair) - in fact, I did this one for 3 years. And for those same 3 years I believe I suffered from a pretty serious case of anorexia nervosa, weighing in at only 78lbs in 7th grade, 81lbs in 8th, and 84lbs in 9th (I'm 5'4"). I didn't make myself throw up, didn't take laxatives, diet pills, or anything like that. What I did do was force myself to adhere to a strict diet of a bowl of cereal for breakfast and something not-good-for-you-junky for dinner, so as not to feel as if I was starving to death. On top of this strict diet, I excercized like a nut for 3 years - having to do 100 sit-ups, 100 toe-touches, 100 this and thats for one full hour. Plus I jogged in the summer months. I used to ace physical fitness tests in school, except I couldn't do even one pull-up/chin-up, only because I was so emaciated, my bony arms couldn't lift me! I was eventually taken to the doctor because the school nurse became concerned, and basically he asked me if I made myself throw up (no), if I took laxatives or diet pills (no), and sent me off on my merry anorexic way. My parents never pushed it, probably because 'mental illness' was some kind of embarassment to them. So I probably had OCD since I was 13, and I'm 46 now...that's 33 years. Whether I did OCD things even before this, I'm not sure.
But back to the reasons I don't think this technique will work with me (or quite possibly anyone with serious OCD)...isn't trying to imagine all the things you suggested (that silly clown or that piece of wood floating down the stream) just a reinforcement of the thought control process? For example, one of my physical symptoms is this relentless clenching of my teeth. Now if I think and tell myself to unclench them, I can. But if my mind wanders off onto something else, I'll notice they are clenched again, even though I never 'thought' them to re-clench. It's just not feasable to force yourself to think a thought (even a calming one) for the entire length of a task.
And if this technique really worked, I don't think serious cases of OCD like mine would even exist, simply because it is so simple. And like I mentioned before, I can't avoid certain tasks...I have to do laundry, clean the bathroom occasionally, bathe, etc...and as soon as I begin the task at hand, OCD is standing right there to torture me, even if the task at hand has been left standing for months...I rarely forget the ritual. But even times I had, I just made up a new one to replace the ones forgotten.
I just think there has got to be more to OCD than the abnormal thought process. For one thing, why do OCD sufferers from all over the world all experience similar symptoms according to their 'type' of OCD. Why are we all washing our hands for hours or rechecking the stove or driving around the block in fear that we hit someone? If it were merely a thought process gone awry, OCD sufferers wouldn't all be doing similar rituals. There has got to be an infection or an exposure (to EMFs?) to be triggering this abnormal thought process and crazy response, and if this is the case, expecting me to just imagine my OCD away by thinking calming thoughts is kind of like expecting me to control the tumor cells growing in my breast. As much as I wish I could, it just isn't going to happen...it's not that simple.
Something had to have screwed up my thought-response process, something apart from me. I'm sure other people, for example, drive down the road, hit a bump, and momentarily wonder if they hit a person or an animal. But most people with this thought might look in their rearview once and continue on, rationalizing that if they did indeed hit a person, the cops would eventually knock at their door. A person with OCD can't do this. They've thought the same thought you did (I might have hit someone), but a ritual is somehow born. My daughter also has OCD, so there has to be a gene or a common contangion or an exposure of some type, and if that's the case, I simply can't control the uncontrollable.