Does anybody else find this? Apparently I say weird things when I'm postictal and people ALWAYS take it seriously, like, I had a seizure at work and apparently when I 'came round' I was saying 'I haven't had a seizure' so the nurse (I worked in a nursing home) was like 'what on earth was you doing then? It's not something to joke about you know?' What? I don't even remember saying It lol.
Another time I had a prolonged seizure at a concert so an ambulance was called, when the paramedics arrived I was postictal and they asked me what medication I take for my Epilepsy and I apparently said 'medication? I don't take medication' so this silly woman decided to ring my mum and tell her that I haven't been taking my medication so I'd had a bad seizure.
Anyone else have any similar experiences?
well - I've definitely had "disbelief" symptoms after seizures..
I can recall times when I've been coming to with various medical personnel in my face and blurred perception saying the likely obligatory "just relax, you've had a seizure!" thing they probably are taught.
I'm a shy and solitary type person who does not like really being the center of attention. So when I hear this type of thing, and start noticing I'm the center of attention regarding this "issue" all of a sudden, I start freaking out and going through a mental "what? no - not me - nope - I'm fine - let me just stand up and go about my day and OWWWWWW I can't move and it feels like someone just kicked me in the nuts and is standing on my stomach" type of thing, that gets expressed in a fashion I have no clue about.
what's going on in my head during this type of mental processing probably comes out of my lips like "bluhhhbbbbluhhhh"
and then there's some point where my mental capacity comes back enough for me to realize that I need to just chill out and that it's OK.
I've thought about this mindset before and thought it might be some sort of relation to the base emotional state that can compel people to run inside of a burning car to help someone else - a type of selflessness that compels one to act despite clarity of action, despite of pain, despite of what may be considered sensible from an external point of view, but what is noble for the good of all. For the good of the situation I try to respond and be "normal", but there's no way I can be, and as my layers of consciousness rebuild, my self-awareness rebuilds too, and can just make the situation more and more awkward, because I start realizing more and more how screwed up the situation is.
Maybe a fight-or-flight type thing.. as in "ok you won, I'm getting the fuck out of here" type pain-sensory thing.
My body and mind are so abused after a seizure my motions and emotions are obtuse, pathetic, sluggish, laborious... so what I intend and interpret is probably far from what the hell is actually going on, but I'm just trying to go about my normal day, when suddenly it's 9/11 up in my head and it's mind-blowing, literally.
There's no way anything immediately postictal should be considered gospel to anyone. I hope that emergency response paramedics know this - I'm sure qualified ones do. Average Joe Citizen does NOT know this. That's one thing that scares me to death.
Luckily I've had one public seizure incident where I was completely alone and on the train and then *bam* I wake up to paramedics again, and everything worked out pretty well, all things considered.
But seizures suck and there is no way to explain it to anyone - but I think I can relate to your having a toggle between your postictal state and your struggle for normalcy at that moment.
